


Wait This Isn't What I Asked For

by WiredRoses



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, I also decided to keep Luwoo platonic sorry yall, I decided to retag I'm sorry, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, No smut because dreamies exist and I refuse, Pls enjoy ;-;, dojae, markhyuck, nomin, slight slow burn, taeten - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-05-04 00:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 64,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14580687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WiredRoses/pseuds/WiredRoses
Summary: Mark Lee likes his girlfriend, he really does. So why is some random guy making him have to repeat that in his head like he's trying to convince himself.Lee Jeno swears he's doing this for his friend. No personal attachments nor personal motives involved, none at all.Kim Jungwoo is questioning the loyalty of his friend's own girlfriend. He won't let him get hurt.Lee Taeyong knows the rules of infatuation, they take you. Beyond the reaches of sanity, that's where all the unrequited crushes go.Jung Jaehyun wishes his study partner would see him as more than just an irritating friend, but it doesn't seem likely to him.And it's quite the chaos of screams and chats and confessions and all other things that come with crushes.





	1. Everyone is failing

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've officially posted online so... yay? I hope you do enjoy it even if I make errors, I try my best to be funny but I'm just not so... sorry...
> 
> Honestly this chapter is just super short because I want whoever is reading this to get a feel for my writing, to see if you want to stick around, all other chapters will be multi-perspective. Markhyuck just happens to be my favourite ship so I'm a little biased :)
> 
> Enjoy it to the extent you wish to enjoy it bye !

**guys I made this groupchat for work not for actual groupchatting**

5 members

 

 **MarkLee** **(17:43):**

has anyone done the biochem presentation sheet or nah

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (17:45):**

im failing chem

 

**MarkLee (17:45):**

ok wht about literally anyone else

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (17:45):**

k

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (17:46):**

LMAOO JAEHYUN TAKE AN L

but yea i did it what do u need

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (17:46):**

classic 

 

**MarkLee (17:47):**

i need help with more than 1 question

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (17:47):**

unspecific and ultimately useless

 

**MarkLee (17:47):**

can you just send me a pic of your answers

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (17:47):**

my sheet is downstairs just ask the questions u need

 

**MarkLee (17:48):**

..

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (17:48):**

...

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (17:48):**

......

 

**renjwen (17:48):**

What

 

**MarkLee (17:49):**

like.,,

questions 2 to 35

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (17:49):**

a fcuKING MOOD

 

**renjwen (17:50):**

What.

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (17:50):**

wtf ?/

that;s the entire sheet wtf r u doing during lectures 

sleeping ??

talking ??

being anything but a g student ??

 

**MarkLee (17:50):**

LOOK JENO I PAY ATTENTION I JUST DONT GET WHAT IM PAYING ATTENTION TO OK

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (17:50):**

IN WHAT WAY DOES THAT SHOW ME UR PAYING ATTENTION

 

**MarkLee (17:50):**

YOU WANNA HELP OR NOT 

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (17:51):**

OF COURSE ILL HELP fFS

 

**MarkLee (17:51):**

ok thanks

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (17:51):**

ye

check pm

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (17:52):**

seems like an unhealthy friendship

 

**renjwen (17:53):**

I agree

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (17:55):**

no1 asked

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (17:55):**

k

 

**renjwen (17:55):**

okay then

 

**johnny (17:58):**

what the fuck.

 

* * *

_Monday_

Mark let out a frustrated sigh as he began copying the answers Jeno had just sent him. It was the kind of mindless copying that he knew would not get him bonus points with his professor once she compared his and Jeno's work, but at this point in time he couldn't care less. He was debating dropping Biochemistry, anyways. He had only taken it because Jeno had suggested they do a class together as it would be  _fun_. But Jeno's double major in Molecular Biology and Immunology with a minor in BioChemistry, contrasted quite a bit with Mark's package. He could admit that it was fun to be able to study with his best friend and roommate but he would be lying if he said the benefits outweighed the costs; one of the major ones being he had no idea what was going on all the time. Just as he was finishing, the door was opened with no small amount of brutality. His girlfriend walked in holding the Chinese take-out she had picked up for them.

"Seriously, you just finished?" Dana scoffed, clearly having come back with an attitude. She placed the bags of food on his bedside table and came over to sit next to him on his bed. 

"Yeah. I don't think BioChem is a class I'm good at." He admitted, though he knew she was already aware of this.

"Of course not. I bet your roommate even did these questions." He smiled a bit. "You should just switch to one of the classes I take, that way we can do something together." His smile wavered at this. Her programs were something Mark wanted to avoid almost more than he wanted to end his current suffering. Dana hadn't really noticed the part where she and Mark had completely different goals in life, either that or she neglected to care to learn about his ambitions. 

"I'll see if I can." Mark chose to reply with, which caused a crinkle between her eyebrows as though she was about to question him. He cut in fast. "My professor asked me to take Creative Writing or something similar as a course because it ties in well with my package."

This noticeably eased her as her face was washed with a wave of understanding. "Oh. That's sad, we could've seen each other more often." Mark grinned at this.

"I'm sure that'll happen once I've changed."

"Good." Dana smiled, leaned over, and plucked the papers- that Mark had forgotten he was even holding- out of his hands. "I think we should talk about better things... or maybe we don't have to talk at all." She was literally crawling to him like some kind of seductive cat, Chinese take-out abandoned. Mark kept the smile on his face and felt his heart pick up pace, but he couldn't pinpoint the cause. She climbed on his lap and clamped her thighs around his hips, trapping him. He knew what she wanted, knew what he didn't want, but his mind seemed only blurred as she leaned in and covered his mouth with hers. And they were kissing. Two people, kissing, on his bed. And she liked him, he liked her, and all was well and good until she moved her hands beneath his shirt.

That was when the alarms went off in his head, clearing the smaug that had been there moments before. He broke away, in Dana's momentum she fell forward slightly before catching herself. Mark knew the instant he pulled away that he shouldn't have, but moments came and went and in the end, it was action that overruled thoughts. Yet that action, he noticed, had caused a slightly fuming- still on his lap- girlfriend to speak.

"What-" He decided it was best to do all the harmful things in one go because then the scolding would only happen once. So, he lived the dangerous life- and cut Dana Smith off. 

"I actually have a music project due tomorrow morning." It wasn't a lie, he did have a music project to submit in the morning he had just... kind of already completed it. Luckily, Dana didn't seem to know that and Mark took that lack of knowledge to nudge her slightly, she sighed and got off his lap. Perhaps it was wrong for him to feel relieved but he couldn't help it.

"Okay, I guess." She sounded marginally confused. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah." He replied as stood to hand Dana her jacket. She took it and smiled, which he reciprocated and she gave him a quick kiss. "See you."

He spun around in his room seconds after the door had shut. Did he feel guilty? Yes. Was he going to ponder over it and let it eat him up? Yes. Was he going to do anything about it right now? No. Instead, he grabbed the Chinese boxes of food off his nightstand and spread it out on his bed, where he placed himself. He had opted for scrolling through Instagram whilst beginning with the noodles when the door opened again. He looked up from his phone to see Jeno toss his jacket over their armchair and place himself on the other end of Mark's bed.

"Was that Dana I saw leaving, looking not very happy to be doing so?" Jeno inquired.

"Mhmm." Mark mumbled over his chewing, he pushed the box of noodles over to where Jeno's hands awaited the arrival of food. 

"Nice." He said, though Mark wasn't sure whether it was directed towards the noodles or his kicking Dana out. "Coming back early was definitely the best decision." So, the noodles then.

Mark laughed before speaking again. "So how was the party?"

"Terrible. Some random kid was sitting on my paper when I went down to take a pic for you." 

"I feel like that was definitely your fault." Mark supplied. "Who brings their BioChem paper to a party where everyone gets wasted at 5 in the afternoon on a weekday for no good reason-"

"Let me just stop you right there, you and I both know that you would've been there if you weren't failing the class." Jeno interjected, chopsticks- which would've been Dana's- pointed at him, accusingly. Mark shrugged, an innocent smile playing on his mouth. 

"Yeah."

"Thought so." Jeno nodded his head towards the pork dumplings which Mark passed him. A comfortable silence settled over them for a minute. Mark considered continuing his attempted Instagram scrolling but Jeno spoke again. "I know it was my idea and everything but I think you should switch out of BioChem."

Mark probably should've been surprised or even upset that Jeno had voiced this but he wasn't, because he felt exactly the same. "Yeah."

"And not to stress you but the deadline is approaching so maybe just do it like tomorrow or something, get it out of the way." Jeno provided. Classes could be changed until halfway through the year and though that wasn't going to be tomorrow, it was still close enough that Mark should do it before he felt pressure. Besides, he really hated BioChemistry and would be happy to be rid of it.

"I'll try to remember."

"Please do. And pass me the red bean dumplings."

* * *

_Tuesday_

Mark found himself leaving the office having successfully switched classes the next afternoon. It was probably the easiest change he had ever done and was even glad when his BioChemistry professor had so willingly signed the transfer paper, as if she wanted him to leave badly. He had always been fond of writing, even if he never considered himself as someone who would make a career out of it. It wasn't even really a hobby, just something interesting.  _At least this will give me time to focus on Music_. He thought as he made his way through another set of doors. The office was huge as it was the centre for 45,000 students, it had to be large. The subject changes were done near the middle where one wouldn't have an advantage for speed of getting there no matter which door they entered from.

 He looked down at the course outline as well as the new schedule. Creative Writing, it seems, had been a double win, the classes began at 11 am compared to the previous 8 am. Mark had even received a list of the students taking the course- nearly 350- and though he scanned through, he could only find maybe one or two people he had met at a party before. He came to the conclusion that he would be alone in this class. But he was somewhat confident in his ability to make friends, the question was more how fast he could do that.

He was so lost in a daydream of his soon-to-be improved student life that he failed to hear someone sprinting around the corner, and straight into his face.

Mark stumbled back, he reached up to touch his nose and winced at the sharp pain. He tentatively checked again if anything was out of place, to his relief, nothing was. 

"Ow." A voice sounded and Mark looked up, having forgotten for a moment that someone had been on the other end of the collision. It was a boy, who had furrowed his brow and was also holding his nose. He immediately remembered that he should, perhaps, be finding out if the other person was intact.

"I'm so sorry, are you okay?" Mark wasn't sure if he should go forward to touch the boy but he decided that since he didn't know him, he shouldn't. "I'm really sorry."

The boy looked up, as if noticing him for the first time as well. Dark, dark brown eyes searched his momentarily. "I'm fine." He simply said, hands dropping to his sides as he brushed by.

Mark looked around and watched him disappear into the maze of an office without turning back once. _Okay, that was kind of rude_ , Mark thought. And despite only having interacted with him for a second, if that was even to be called an interaction, Mark had seen the paper he was clutching.  _Creative Writing_ course change. So, if they were in the same year then perhaps they would be in the same scheduled classes. He brought the paper with the students names up to try to match a face to the names. He attempted this for about thirty seconds before he realized his name nor face would be there if he was also just transferring in.

 _I guess we'll just see each other there... or not_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to use it more so: [follow me on twitter!!](http://twitter.com/wired_roses)  
> 


	2. Who are you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I've written the beginning of every storyline now, sorry if it's confusing!
> 
> There's two lines between every new perspective and one line between every time change or scene change

_Friday_

It was, officially, the time for Mark's first Creative Writing class. Apparently, a total of 21 people had joined between Monday and today which made Mark feel more at ease considering he wouldn't be the only new student. The teacher, Nora, was someone Mark had taken an immediate liking to. She was a young woman with an English accent who had a kind hearted smile, and seemed genuinely passionate about teaching students writing. Mark had introduced himself and she had told him to sit anywhere, which he did, selecting a seat near the top of the lecture hall. He was only minutes early- as his former BioChemistry class had conditioned him to be- but apparently, this was not something students in this class did as they poured in ranges from five to twenty minutes late. Almost every seat was filled except the one to Mark's left, it unsettled him a bit, but not too much. Nora didn't seem to care in the slightest about the tardiness, she simply waited for every student to come in before getting up, clapping her hands once and introducing herself to everyone who hadn't been as early as Mark.

"Hello everyone, I'm Nora, your Creative Writing-" She was cut off by the doors opening again and a student stumbling in. 

"Sorry, sorry!" The student- a boy- had the hood from his jacket up so he couldn't make out the face, but he thought the voice was recognizable. He just wasn't quite sure where he'd heard it from. "I... got the wrong building..."

Nora just smiled. "That's quite alright, please take any seat left." She gestured towards the section of the theatre that Mark was sitting in. The boy turned and quickly ran up the steps, his head was low so Mark still couldn't see his face. The boy turned into the row Mark was in and sat in the aisle seat. Mark heard him let out a sigh but it was only when the boy turned to see he was sitting next to that he remembered him. It was the boy who had run into him outside the office. 

"Oh my god." He muttered. "Just my luck, wow."

"You're the guy that ran into me." Mark couldn't help but sound surprised. 

The corner of the boy's mouth twitched. "Oh did I?" 

"You definitely did. What's your name?"

"Mmm." Ignoring his second question, and sounding as though he didn't want to apologize. Mark furrowed his brow, he didn't even know this kid but he was coming off as slightly rude. He turned back to the front to tune into what Nora was saying.

"The individual presentations on favourite contemporary authors are coming up in the next month," She was saying. "However, for those who are new to this class, I would like for you to pair up with another new student to do a presentation together. Once you have your partner, you may come up to me to tell me your pair and then you will be deciding on an author to present on together. All students will be given this session to work on it, whether you stay here or not is up to you." 

Most of the students immediately began filing out, and the new students- well, Mark guessed they were the new ones- went to the front with a friend they must have made beforehand. It was after five minutes that Mark noticed all the students remaining were working on their laptops. Aside from himself and the boy next to him.

"Uh, do you want to be partners?" Mark turned to ask. "Wait, what's your name?"

The boy looked around for a moment before responding. "Since we're the only two new students left, I guess we don't really have a choice." Completely ignoring his second question, again.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Great. You go to the front."

Mark stared at him.  _Is he serious?_ He thought, nevertheless, he got up, awkwardly squeezed by the boy who was smiling slightly and jogged down the stairs. Nora looked up expectedly. 

"I'm partnering with, uh..." That was when Mark remembered he didn't actually know the name of his soon-to-be partner. Instead, he turned around and pointed. "With... him?"

Nora looked behind him and smiled, knowing full well he had no idea what the boy's name was. The boy was smiling even wider than before which made Mark want to roll his eyes. "Alright: Mark and Him. Fantastic, please select an author to present about and email me once you've agreed on one!" Nora said, cheerily.

Mark gaped at her, was she really not going to tell him the boy's name? He turned around to find said boy handing him his bag. "Shall we go?"

Oh, Mark knew he wouldn't enjoy this.

* * *

_Friday_

"Okay, who's your favourite contemporary author?" Mark asked, reading the simple task question off of the presentation exemplar. They had gone to the library, which was a massive eight story building and spread over a chunk of the university ground, one of the largest in the country. It had hundreds of tables and desks on each floor, one of which they were currently sat at.

The boy tapped his chin in thought. It was then when Mark noticed his white hood had cat ears on them. They were cute. "Cassandra Clare." 

"Really?" Mark was surprised, Cassandra Clare wrote famous Young-Adult books about Shadowhunters and demons, it didn't seem like his kind of thing at all. Then again, he didn't even know this boy's name. Which he decided, was not something that should remain hidden. "Do you have a name... or like... not?"

The boy laughed at this, and it sounded like bells that chimed to the rhythm of a cheerful tune. "I have a name."

Mark waited for him to elaborate. When he didn't he spoke instead. "Do I get to know it?"

"Hm..." The boy hummed as he thought, lifting his sweater pawed hands to hold up his face. "It's so much more interesting when something in a relationship is unknown, though."

"Are you kidding me-"

"You seem like a bright guy, Mark, I'm sure you'll figure it out." The boy waved his hand to cut him off and Mark looked down to see his laptop- with his name written on it- exposed. He quickly covered it but the boy just laughed, so clearly the unknown name aspect of this  _relationship_ would be one-sided. 

"Feels like you cheated." And the boy just shrugged in response.

"Let's just work, I'd rather not have to spend any more time here than I have to." 

Mark sighed but opened up a new presentation. And they did work, they worked quite well together. Well... well enough all things considered- such as the boy spending 90% of the time completely making fun of Mark. He hated to admit it, but Mark found the other boy funny. Not that he'd ever say it outloud. This kid was already getting on his nerves. Clearly a cute exterior was nothing to say about how a person really acted. Throughout their work, Mark would attempt to sneak in a question about his name, but it was either ignored or shut down. 

"I'm exhausted," The boy groaned, leaning forward on the table, letting his head drop on his arms which were stretched out, reaching across. Mark nudged his fingers away, the boy pouted in response. "Let's finish another time."

"Sure." Truth be told, Mark was feeling tired as well. Looking at a screen all day was weathering. "We did a lot, anyways." 

"Mhmm." Mark noticed he had a way of humming in response rather than actual worded answers. 

"So... do you want to meet up tomorrow?" Mark asked, tapping the letters on his keyboard. 

He did not expect the response of an exaggerated, spurious gasp, followed by: "Oh my god. Is this your way of asking me out?"

He didn't know how, but he began choking on air. "What?" He wheezed and the boy burst into uncontrolled laughter.

"Man, you really should take some pointers from Jaemin, unlike you, he flirts too much for his own good." He managed as he calmed down. "I hope you never actually ask anyone out like that, damn."

Mark was about to retaliate with the fact that he actually had a girlfriend so clearly it had worked out before, instead, he replayed the fact that the boy had just given him a name, even if it wasn't his own. "That's a hint!" Mark slammed his hands on the table and stood up. 

The boy's eyes widened in amusement before he cracked a small smile. "Dammit."

Mark quickly shoved everything in his bag. "I'm using that."

"Feel free not to."

He turned around to leave, but he remembered that his friend wouldn't be able to help him much without an actual photo. So he whipped back, grabbed his phone, said "Forgot this," and snapped a picture.

As he spun around once more, he heard spluttering of "Wait, I'll sue you for that!" before it was drowned in laughter.

Okay yeah, maybe Mark did kind of like the boy's personality.

 

* * *

* * *

 

_Friday_

"Jeno! I need your help." Mark demanded, barging into their dorm. Jeno looked up from his phone where he had been messaging Renjun.

"With what? You changed out of BioChem, what else could you possibly need help with."

Mark chose to ignore this. "I need you to figure out the name of someone for me."

This surprised Jeno, usually it was whipped girls and/or guys who asked him to do this. But Mark had a girlfriend so it was definitely not that. Even if Jeno disliked her. "What? Who?"

"Some guy in my Creative Writing class." Mark said as he sat down on his bed, Jeno fully turned his attention to the conversation. "He won't give me his name and we're partners."

There was a moment of hesitation where Jeno's mind was processing what Mark had actually said before he burst out laughing. "You've successfully managed to fail again, this is great!"

"It really isn't."

Jeno laughter calmed to a chuckle. "It really is." He loved helping his friends in social situations, he was always proud of his connections in school. It was important to him, knowing people, it made everything just a little less lonely. "So you want me to find out his name, and... anything else?"

"No, just his name," Mark said. "He dared me."

"Seriously?" Jeno was suddenly very, very interested. "Who is this kid, I want to know him-"

"Great, I have a name of his friend, if you want to use that." 

Jeno tilted his head to the side. "If you have the name of his friend then why not ask him yourself?" 

"I wouldn't be able to find him, but you would!" Mark gestured in Jeno's direction and he felt a surge of pride go up his spine that his friend had so much confidence in him. "Besides, I'm sure the boy told him not to tell me his name." Jeno agreed that this was a very valid point.

"Alright, I'm sold, what's the name of this friend." Jeno picked up his phone to type down the name. 

"I only have one name, I think it's a first name: Jaemin." Mark replied.

Jeno wrote it down in his notes, where hundreds of other names were written, some scratched off, some not, depending on who's requests he'd completed already. He liked to keep a list, it was always interesting to see who people were interested in the most. As he was writing it down he realized he'd written this name before, he scrolled up to find that he'd written it at least fifteen times. Memories started sorting themselves out in his head, lots of female faces surfaced asking about a "Jaemin" or a "Na Jaemin", but every time they'd asked, they always came back saying the same thing.  _"Nevermind, he told me himself when he asked me out!"_ So this time he was determined to find this infamous Na Jaemin who apparently dated every girl who breathed in his direction. 

"I'll find him tomorrow."

* * *

* * *

**the maknae is scary stop**

12 members

 

**fullsun (18:32):**

any of u know a mark in my yea r?

 

**It's me, I am the maknae (18:32):**

a wat

 

**fullsun (18:33):**

jesus u respond fast

a mark

a human

a student

idk

 

**Nana (18:34):**

is this the guy u were tellig me about

 

**fullsun (18:34):**

yes

 

**kUn (18:35):**

ive heard of a mark before

 

**fullsun (18:35):**

be a little more general yea?

 

**kUn (18:35):**

okay.

 

**It's me, I am the maknae (18:36):**

u literally gave the world's vaguest description of him tho wtf ??????

 

**junguwu (18:36):**

yeah ngl jisung has a point

 

**Nana (18:37):**

how will i know who mark is if he asks me bout u if idk anything bout him

 

**kUn (18:37):**

^^^

 

**It's me, I am the maknae (18:37):**

^^^

 

**tbh shouldve been the maknae (18:37):**

^^^

 

**fullsun (18:38):**

k

y r u even agreeing chenle u just joined in

 

**tbh shouldve been the maknae (18:38):**

jisung told me to agree 

 

**It's me, I am the maknae (18:39):**

best friends gotta stick 2gether

 

**fullsun (18:39):**

my supposed best friend jaemin literally abandoned me in front of u

chenle follow his lead

 

**Nana (18:40):**

wtf

just didnt

 

**fullsun (18:40):**

just did

 

**Nana (18:40):**

just didnt

 

**fullsun (18:40):**

just did

 

 **yuta**   **(18:41):**

stfu

also why is

sicheng gone again

 

**yuta added Dong Sicheng**

**yuta renamed Dong Sicheng to "stop leaving wtf"**

 

 

**stop leaving wtf (18:42):**

please let me leave

 

**yuta (18:43):**

no

 

**xuxi (18:44):**

welcoMEBACK

 

**junguwu (18:45):**

welcome back sicheng !! 

 

**taeyong (18:45):**

wait why did he even leave?

 

**Nana (18:46):**

something bout

"never speaking" nd "every1's just annoying"

 

**kUn (18:47):**

which is understandable you have to admit

 

**taeyong (18:47):**

yeah admit

 

**fullsun (18:47):**

guys

 

**d o y o u n g (18:48):**

came in j to put in he hit me the last time i added him back

 

**yuta (18:48):**

no worries he wont hit me

 

**stop leaving wtf (18:48):**

dont count on it

 

**taeILL (18:48):**

hit me as well

 

**Nana (18:48):**

smh rude

 

**fullsun (18:49):**

guys

 

**junguwu (18:49):**

but why did taeil get hit

 

**taeILL (18:50):**

hugged him

 

**It's me, I am the maknae (18:50):**

y wud u suicide like tht

 

**xuxi (18:51):**

obv im the only 1 allowed 2 hug him

 

**yuta (18:51):**

no im allowed

 

**stop leaving wtf (18:52):**

lucas can yuta cant chenle can taeil cant

 

**Nana (18:52):**

why chenle can

 

**d o y o u n g (18:52):**

yes jaemin that is english nice

 

**Nana (18:52):**

ksy

kys*

 

**tbh shouldve been the maknae (18:53):**

why i can

 

**d o y o u n g (18:53):**

look what youve done _@Nana_

 

**Nana (18:53):**

kms

 

**d o y o u n g (18:53):**

you mean ksm

 

**fullsun (18:53):**

gUYS

 

**stop leaving wtf (18:54):**

chenle is smal n chinese

 

**junguwu (18:54):**

isnt

isnt that racist ???

 

**taeyong (18:54):**

i was about to say the same thing.. ..

 

**fullsun (18:54):**

GUYS

CAN SOME1 ANSWER MY QUESTION ABOUT A MARK 

 

**kUn (18:55):**

yep im back

Mark Lee

im great

praise me

_(seen by everyone)_

 

* * *

 

_Friday 18:57_

Taeyong locked his phone, after having left his friend on seen. He was sitting in the dance room, and it was nearly 7 pm, which meant it was time for him to get up and on his feet. He plugged his earphones in and pressed play on the song he had been rehearsing for days. The choreography wasn't anything special to begin with, but with his over-rehearsal of steps so simple, he had added some of his own movies. Knowing too well that he should be studying for his other, more difficult subjects, he began the sequence. Turning when the rhythm let him, dipping when the pitch showed him, moving exactly the way the music allowed him to because that's how dancing should be. Beyond the memorizing, it should be feeling. And just as he was on his last steps the door to the dance studio opened. And he walked in. 

Taeyong knew he was Thai, and he also knew that his name was far too long or difficult to pronounce. So everyone called him Ten. He was a dance major, with perfect scores because he really was the best, anyone could tell anyone that. He had also been Taeyong's crush for nearly three months now. 

They made eye contact when he entered the room, Taeyong didn't take out his earphones because that never happened. They never spoke. But they always smiled, and that's what happened now. Ten placed his sling bag in the corner of the room, moved to the unspoken half of his room, and smiled at Taeyong in the mirror. It was always the same. Three times a week at 7pm, Taeyong was always there, Ten was always there. It was consistent.

 _Maybe I should speak to him today._ He thought for the third time that week. He never did, he wasn't even sure if he ever would because Ten was just... far out of his reach. Knowing the rules of being enamoured with someone didn't make the experience easy to endure. He replayed the music, but his focus was only half on his own movements this time. The other half of his thoughts, the important half, were on Ten who was putting in his own earphones- black and red, not that anyone was paying attention- and stretched his arms and legs before shaking himself off and getting into the first position. And the moment he started, it was so easy to see how much he loved it.

It was a new sequence, which meant rather than half his mind focusing on Ten, it was three fourths. Taeyong wished he knew which song Ten was rehearsing to, it would make practicing the moves he saw so much easier. Out of the four dances Ten had rehearsed, Taeyong had learned four. And he realized, it was borderline obsession, but when a crush consumes you, it becomes unavoidable. 

So Ten began.

And Taeyong watched.

It was beautiful, not just Ten but the way he danced. The way his hands moved at speeds and at angles that seemed impossible for someone to reach, but he did it. The way his feet formed step sequences that twisted and spun like ribbons in wind. He shouldn't have stopped dancing, but he did, because this was... miraculous.

Yet as all things begin in beauty and wonder, those same things end- usually in darkness or despair- but this one finished in light. 

The moment he ended, Taeyong began again, avoiding suspicion. However, he still watched as Ten collected himself, and started over. The same cycle that didn't stop for hours and hours until Ten left and Taeyong stayed for minutes after, flourishing in the way his heart still beat and his palms still sweat. 

* * *

* * *

 

_Friday 22:30_

Jaehyun was not pleased with the recent Chemistry project assignment. Nor was he pleased with the fact that he had spent three hours getting wasted with some random people from that same class. Out of the 250 students taking the same Chemistry subject as him, he was sure that over seventy-five percent were failing. It pleased him that he wasn't the only one, but at the same time, he wished he were at least able to get a pass. So here he was, at 10:30, struggling to study for an exam he had in two months. It was sad to say he needed two months to study for half a year's worth of content, but he did. 

He walked- or rather, stumbled- across the central courtyard to get from his dorm to the library, it was freezing and he wanted to be indoors. The library was probably the best part about the campus, not only was it enormous, it was also open 24 hours a week, every week. He reached the doors and managed to even open them to his surprise. He genuinely thought he was too drunk to even do that but apparently not. The high of the drinking was dying off, with it arrived a pounding headache that he would surely regret in an hour. He didn't even know why Drunk-Jaehyun decided this was a good time to study, it really wasn't. 

_Amazing, let's fail._

Student littered the bottom floor of the library so he went up a floor. The second floor was the only one where the librarian didn't bother going because it was, for the majority, just desks and long tables for studying. There were also booths in the corner where he immediately made his way to. Nearly all of them were full except for the one near the end closest to the massive windows that left no room for actual walls. He sighed in relief and sat himself down heavily, letting his head hit the table.  _Maybe I should just sleep here instead..._

He was snapped awake by a loud "ahem". He looked up which made him meet the eyes of a guy, who didn't look super pleased that he was there. 

"Yes?" Drunk-Jaehyun slurred slightly. 

"Oh," The eyebrows of the man raised, in understanding a bit, though it was laced with exhaustion and weariness. "Oh, you're completely wasted."

"Am I?" Jaehyun asked, a smile forming on his lips.

The guy rolled his eyes, not unsubtly, before looking back down at where highlighters and pens were scattered partially on top of books and partially everywhere else. 

"I'm Jaehyun." Jaehyun said, though he had no idea why. Sober-Jaehyun would definitely bash Drunk-Jaehyun for this later. But it did make the guy look up again.

"I'm Doyoung, if you'll even remember that." He went back to his highlighting and note taking. It was only when Jaehyun looked closely at the book's contents that he sat up.

"Is that Chemistry?" He felt his voice raise, it made him sound hopeful.

Doyoung nodded, not looking up.

"Are you passing?"

Another nod.

"Oh my god." Jaehyun, suddenly cleared of all alcohol- or so he thought- grabbed Doyoung's hand and held it in his two. "Please teach me how to pass."

Doyoung looked completely stricken. "What? What do you mean  _teach you how to pass_? Look, I don't even know you-"

"You don't need to know me!" Jaehyun said, louder than he intended which earned him two or three glares from surrounding tables. "You just need to save me."

"What the hell-"

"Please? Oh my god, please." Jaehyun was essentially full out begging, minus going on his knees. Though he would if this person asked. He was still gripping Doyoung's hand, the latter squirming to try to escape but giving up quite quickly once he realized he was outmatched in the strength department. Doyoung let out a sigh.

"Yeah okay fine, stranger, but fine."

Jaehyun quickly took his stuff out of his bag. "Wow, my lord and saviour, thank you so much." And for the first time, Jaehyun properly looked at Doyoung and something in his heart skipped a beat, though he didn't know why. 

* * *

* * *

 

_Saturday 00:02_

"Yeah, Lucas, I said I would-" Jungwoo said into his phone, he stopped walking to listen to Lucas's request, but it was cold and he wanted to go inside. "I'm going to the store right now, don't worry."

He pulled his coat tighter around him, trying to insulate himself as much as possible. He broke into a small speed walk, bordering on jog, towards the university's general store. It was a prime zone for snacks and drinks, not so much for actual groceries which students had to walk to the other side of the campus for. The bells chimed as he walked in, the student working there was a friend of Jungwoo's so he waved.

"What'll it be tonight, then?" Taemin asked, leaning over the counter.

"Lucas asked me to bring some snacks back." Jungwoo replied walking into the chips aisle and grabbing Lays, Doritos, and Ruffles off the shelf. 

"Again? What don't you do for that guy?" He heard Taemin call from the front.

"I was just in the area, so it wasn't a bother," Jungwoo called back, picking out different candies and sweets. "Besides, he's my best friend."

Taemin's laugh sounded for a moment before the chimes came back, signaling the arrival of another student. Jungwoo quickly picked out a few more things, just sodas, instant noodles, the basic necessities of life when one is in university of course. He paid the exact amount, waved Taemin goodbye, and walked out. 

The cold air hit his face like a hammer beats a nail. His teeth were instantly chattering.  _I should've went home_. But he knew that when Lucas asked him to do something, the chances of him doing that thing were very high. It was approximately a ten minute walk back to his dorm through the courtyards... there was also a fifteen minute way through another dorm which had heaters. So being him, he went for the long but warm way. 

These dorms were well known for having the wildest parties, and on a Friday night, the likelihood that there were several going on was high. But Jungwoo was desperate, and he could go through them all fast enough if he wanted to. The music could be heard thumping through the night's breeze like a bad omen. And in retrospect, Jungwoo maybe should've listened to the warnings of a bad omen, but he didn't. 

He stepped into the first building and the music quintupled in volume, he didn't bother covering his ears. Lights turned on and off like a bad club as he wove his way through girls making out with guys, guys making out with girls, people getting high, and people drinking themselves into the ground. Jungwoo was suddenly blessed for his lean figure and managed to get through the first half of the building without any problems. He saw the exit on the other side and breathed a sigh of relief, ignoring the harsh odour of sweat and cheap liquor, but then he saw it. A girl, who looked far too familiar, in an intense lip locking session with a boy who had her pushed against the wall. Hands all over her. And Jungwoo is sure he would've ignored it, had it not been for the nagging in the back of his brain telling him that it was someone he should stop for. It was only when they moved away from each other to get a breath of air and probably another drink, that Jungwoo did finally recognize her.

It was Lucas's girlfriend, Jackie, but that was definitely not Lucas. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave any and all feedback or comments or whatever, I don't get offended :)
> 
> Once again I'll try to update as often as I can... but it's the end of the school year so of course I have 2000 things to do ://
> 
> I'm trying to use it more so: [follow me on twitter!!](http://twitter.com/wired_roses)  
> 


	3. Amazing, How Utterly Amazing

**Private Chat: Sunday**

**Lee Jeno, Huang Renjun**

 

**Jen (20:02):**

hi good friend

 

**Jun (20:09):**

??

 

**Jen (20:10):**

how r u !!

 

**Jun (20:10):**

...

what do you want

 

**Jen (20:11):**

o

haha well since u asked

 

**Jun (20:12):**

oh my god

 

**Jen (20:12):**

i need u to help me w a small favour

 

**Jun (20:12):**

wwhy is that so not specific

can you not be cryptic and just tell me what you want me to do 

 

**Jen (20:13):**

ok i need u to trip some1

helo r u there its been 3 mins

 

**Jun (20:16):**

just rereading trying to process

excuse me but

you need me to fucking what

 

**Jen (20:17):**

trip some1

 

**Jun (20:17):**

who?

 

**Jen (20:17):**

noT hARD, j a lil bit

like j enuf tht he drops his shit or smth

 

**Jun (20:18):**

WHO

JENO WHO

 

**Jen (20:18):**

NA JAEMIN 

JAEMIN

NA JAEMIN ??

 

**Jun (20:18):**

THAT GUY WHO MAJORS FILM ? ?

 

**Jen (20:18):**

YEA HIM

 

**Jun (20:18):**

OKAY WHY

 

**Jen (20:19):**

need to get a name of his friend

for mark

 

**Jun (20:20):**

oh okay

for mark that makes sense

IT DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE 

 

**Jen (20:20):**

can u j help me ill give u $5

 

**Jun (20:21):**

..

I'm only doing this cause I want lunch tmrw

 

**Jen (20:21):**

great can u get chenle n jisung as well

i actually hv hmwk

 

**Jun (20:22):**

okay but you know jisung will want $ as well

 

**Jen (20:22):**

dang

yea ok j get them thx

_(seen at 20:23)_

 

* * *

 

_Monday 12:25_

"Jeno!" Renjun called and Jeno turned around to see his friend approaching with Jisung and Chenle following, the latter of the two currently wearing an expression of confusion. He gave them a small wave, he was leaned against the wall outside one of the lecture halls who's class was about to end. "I told them what I was doing but I don't exactly know why they're actually here...?"

"Alright get ready to help your friend, boys," Jeno pushed himself off the wall, clapped once, and rubbed his hands together. Jisung's face contorted into one of mild embarrassment which Jeno chose to ignore. "So, Na Jaemin is about to come out of this lecture hall-"

"Wait, how do you know that for sure?" Jisung inquired, waving his hand and squinting his eyes. 

Jeno gave a quick sarcastic smile. "I just asked a couple of his previous dates about his schedule, no biggie." Jeno brushed him off but Renjun, Jisung, and Chenle looked like they wanted to cut him off again with more questions, which he would not allow. "Just let me finish."

Renjun shut his mouth and Jeno nodded once. "Okay, so: when Na Jaemin comes out of the hall Renjun is going to go and 'trip him accidentally'" He used air quotations and Jisung did a soft face palm, which Jeno also chose to ignore. "Renjun, you'll apologize but just walk off. That way  _I_  can come and help him which gives me a very nice excuse to talk to him."

"Okay, 2 things," Jisung began. "1. Why would this work? and 2. Why are Chenle and I here?"

"Glad you asked," Jeno replied, dropping another quick faux smile. "1. I've done this multiple times before, usually I send the people who are actually whipped for them, though." Renjun sighed at this. "2. You're here just in case this guy is not going to fall or drop anything after the first time. Okay? Questions?"

Silence.  _I'm considering the silence an understanding._  There was a quiet rumbling noise and Jeno checked his phone, 12:28, so they were about to come out. The doors opened and a flurry of Media Studies fled out. Most of them were coming in the direction where Jeno was standing so it was safe to assume Jaemin would too. That, and, Jeno knew for a fact that he spent his time in the Flyers Café after Media Studies which was in this direction. He was quite sure his plan would work, he knew approximately what the guy looked like based on photos some girls had shown him. So when Na Jaemin walked out, Jeno knew it was him.

He wore glasses which Jeno hadn't seen in the pictures, and he was looking down at his phone. Luckily, and he really meant luckily, Jaemin was carrying his books in his other arm, his laptop was nowhere in sight so at least Renjun wouldn't have to pay for an expensive piece of technology. Jeno turned around to where his friends were waiting. "The guy in the white jacket and glasses." All three leaned out to look around Jeno. When they came back in Jeno flicked his head at Renjun, who sighed and walked forward.

Renjun walked forward, Jeno noticed he looked really unsure. He was really close to Jaemin and Jeno widened his eyes to see if this would work on the first go. But of course, all things don't work according to plan because Renjun nudged him and he just kind of ricocheted off, he didn't even look up from his phone as he kept walking. Renjun turned around to give Jeno a perplexed look and a shrug. Jeno sighed and grabbed randomly behind him to bring up the next contestant. So Chenle walked off. He looked five times more unsure than Renjun did and maybe Jeno should've thought this through because Chenle paused, reached forward and completely missed Jaemin as he side stepped. Once again, he didn't even look up from his phone. Chenle on the other hand, stumbled forward and had to be caught by Renjun.  _Oh my god,_ Jeno gaped,  _how the hell?_

 _Last chance_. Jeno turned around, grabbed an irritated looking Jisung by the shoulders, and shoved him in Jaemin's direction. In hindsight, Jeno should've taken into account the look on Jisung's face before he sent him off, maybe he should've just gone himself because Jisung literally walked two steps, stood in front of Jaemin, lifted his hand high. And in one smooth swipe, whacked every single book out of Na Jaemin's hands. 

This time Jaemin definitely looked up, he gaped at Jisung who just walked by him, fuming slightly. Jaemin looked after him with the most shocked and confused expression Jeno had ever seen, it was cute really, and despite Jeno's own shock, he realized this was the opportunity he needed. He just had to improvise a bit instead. 

Jaemin was still looking in the direction Renjun had pulled Jisung and Chenle off to, not seemingly having processed what had actually happened. So Jeno bent down and picked up his book for him, which got Jaemin's attention. He turned back slowly, still a kind of glassy look on his face. Jeno gave him his best smile.

"I think you may have dropped these." He said, holding the three books out to the guy- who when he got closer, was actually the same height as he was. 

Jaemin hesitated a moment, but life returned back to his eyes and he looked down at Jeno's hand. "Uh. Thanks?" He replied, taking the books back. "But did you see what happened?"

"The guy looked pissed." Jeno supplied, using his superior acting skills. 

"Yeah he did, but I don't think I did anything to him recently so I don't know what I did to deserve this... again." Jaemin tilted his head to the side and furrowed his eyebrows and Jeno didn't know why but he thought it was cute. He then remembered he was supposed to be making conversation. And the best way to start a conversation was by giving a name.

"I'm Lee Jeno, by the way." Jeno smiled again, sticking out his hand- minus the books. Jaemin cocked his head. 

"People still shake hands when they meet at our age?" Jaemin gave a small grin.  _Oh, a smile to match mine?_  Jeno thought, amused. "I'm Na Jaemin."

 _I know_ , he wanted to respond but instead he said: "I think I've heard of you before."

"Ah," Jaemin nodded slowly, a slightly confused expression painting over his features but he continued anyways. "Okay, but how?"

"Not to sound rude but you're known as a serial dater." 

Jaemin burst out laughing at this, he actually clutched his stomach as he doubled over. His laugh was really contagious and Jeno couldn't help but join in. "Oops." Jaemin smiled widely. Jeno's heart skipped a beat but he couldn't pinpoint the cause, was he dying? Was it cancer? He didn't know. "I guess my reputation spreads outside of classes I take."

"I'm pretty sure most of the year knows at this point." Jeno supplied.

"Damn, might worsen my chances." Jaemin clicked his tongue and Jeno admired his openness. 

"I doubt it." Jeno instantly said though he kind of surprised himself because usually he thought his comments through. It was how he climbed the social ladder so high, he knew when to keep his mouth shut and when it was time to reply. "I think with your reputation girls who come after you now know it." He saved himself a bit with that.

Jaemin chuckled. "Not that I don't like talking to you but I actually have a class so..."

"Oh right, Film!" Jeno said.  _Wait shit, now he's gonna know I know his schedule._  Jaemin squinted in question.

"Uh, yeah... wait how do you know that-"

"Your book." Jeno pointed, having found the perfect alibi. "It was just a guess."

Jaemin looked down to look at the Film Studies textbook he was indeed carrying. "Oh, Oh! Yeah, I have Film."

Jeno smiled widely. "Bye then!" 

"Bye!" Jaemin said, walking around him.

Jeno was about to walk off to plot his next move when he heard Jaemin call from behind: "I actually have heard of you, Jeno, I'm pretty sure everyone has."

This surprised Jeno, he was hoping he hadn't heard of him, it wouldn't help the situation if Jaemin suspected something. So Jeno just turned around and called back: "We should've met each other sooner if we're both so well known then, Jaemin." There was a chorus of laughs as they both walked in opposite directions from one another. 

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

**the maknae is scary stop**

12 members

 

**xuxi (12:46):**

uh jaemin were u just talkin to

lee jeno

 

**Nana (12:47):**

wtF ??

y r u watching me wtf

 

**fullsun (12:47):**

Lee Jeno ??

isnt tht that guy who helps people w their crushes????

90% of the girls that come to u go to him first 

 

**Nana (12:48):**

do they ?!

 

**fullsun (12:48):**

u kno they do wtf

 

**Nana (12:48):**

:)

 

**xuxi (12:49):**

not tht i wanna throw jaemin under the bus but

he was defs flirting

 

**Nana (12:49):**

no i wasnt

 

**fullsun (12:49):**

UFHOEJjlkdEKLDejkleAJdlkjeAIOLKFE

 

**d o y o u n g (12:50):**

whY is this NEWS hes ALWAYS flirting

 

**Nana (12:51):**

I JUST WASNT FLIRTING

 

**xuxi (12:51):**

ok .... if u say so

 

**junguwu (12:51):**

lucas doesn't really lie

sorry jaemin

 

**fullsun (12:51):**

so classic

if u ever say u only flirt w girls again im blocking u

 

**Nana (12:52):**

shUT UP

i only flirt with girls

 

**d o y o u n g (12:52):**

someone kick him out

we dont tolerate liars in this group

 

**Nana (12:52):**

omg u wouldnt

im like 45% of the groupchat

 

**fullsun (12:53):**

ill settle for a name change

 

**fullsun renamed "Nana" to "flirted w lee jeno/will probably continue to flirt w lee jeno"**

 

**flirted w lee jeno/will probably continue to flirt w lee jeno (12:54):**

THS NAME IS TOo LONG WTF

 

**fullsun (12:54):**

sad

but its too tru to change now

 

**d o y o u n g (12:55):**

^^^

 

**junguwu (12:55):**

^^^

 

**xuxi (12:55):**

^^^

 

**flirted w lee jeno/will probably continue to flirt w lee jeno (12:56):**

like i honestly hate all of u

 

**fullsun (12:56):**

u cant

im ur best friend

 

**kUn (12:57):**

lee jeno?

omg that's mark lee's best friend

 

**fullsun (12:57):**

IM SORRY WAT

 

**flirted w lee jeno/will probably continue to flirt w lee jeno (12:57):**

o shit

 

**fullsun (12:57):**

nA JAEMIN I STG IF U TELL HIM MY NAME

 

**flirted w lee jeno/will probably continue to flirt w lee jeno (12:57):**

I WONT

 

**junguwu (12:58):**

sorry but how do you know that kun?

 

**kUn (12:58):**

im just great

amazing

such a good friend

praise me

_(seen by It's me, I am the maknae and tbh shouldve been the maknae)_

 

* * *

 

**Private Chat: Monday**

**Park Jisung, Zhong Chenle**

 

**'02 (12:59):**

o fuck

 

**'01 (13:00):**

^^^

* * *

 

_Monday 13:05_

Jungwoo looked over to see the last couple messages get through to his phone from the groupchat, all from Kun and his usual "praise me" left unanswered by the rest. Jungwoo debated answering but it was kind of tradition not to do so at this point and he didn't want to break that tradition, despite how unspoken and how terrible it was. Besides, he had much more serious things to concern himself with, like: was Lucas's girlfriend cheating on him? Or was that something his mind had made up?

Elizabeth Loftus is one of the leaders for theories of memory in Psychology and all of her research focuses on the idea that one cannot trust their memory to be reliable. So why should he? It could have been as a result of him wanting to see something, but why would he want to see Lucas's girlfriend making out with a stranger. In the end, he wasn't sure, because he couldn't trust his own memory. He hadn't stuck around long enough to see them come back which he only slightly regretted now. But it all came down to the fact that he couldn't properly look Lucas in the eyes anymore because he felt like he'd been the one who cheated somehow. Was it better to tell his best friend that he may have seen his girlfriend hooking with some random guy at a party, or was it better to keep it quiet because he wasn't sure anyways. What if he told Lucas and it ended up having not been true, was that not the worst possible outcome? Or was it worse if he didn't tell Lucas and let his heart potentially be shredded by her?

In truth, the first one had slightly less desirable outcomes which is why he was currently throwing himself down that road. Yet he was also going through all her social media accounts to see if there was any shred of evidence that could change his mind. After scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, he hadn't found anything. It made him uncomfortable. He couldn't even tell if he wanted to find anything, he genuinely liked Jackie, she was always kind to him when she was over and had even gotten him a little snow globe for his birthday. 

And she made Lucas happy, that was most important.

In the midst of all his intensive thinking session, Lucas walked through the door. "Are you still inside?" He asked, taking off his coat to throw it at Jungwoo who tried to catch it but it just hit his face instead.

"Yeah..." 

"I'm pretty sure it's really unhealthy to not go outside at least once a day." Lucas raised an eyebrow and smiled at him. Jungwoo returned it with his own, it was the one he liked to do the most where he closed his eyes as well, apparently it made him look like a living emoticon which he took as a compliment.

"I think I'll be fine if it's just one day," Jungwoo hummed. "We can go do something together if you want, though?"

Lucas rummaged through his wardrobe until he picked out a red coloured scarf. "Yes! Let's do something!" He said excitedly. "But I made plans with Jackie so... rain check?"

"Sure, just message me." Jungwoo watched Lucas continue his rummaging, pulling out various articles of clothing. He spun around and showed him the ensemble he had produced.

Jungwoo shook his head. "Not the light blue shirt, wear the black one, it goes nice with your scarf and coat."

"Lifesaver." Lucas whispered and Jungwoo laughed, making Lucas smile. He always smiled when Jungwoo laughed, like it was some kind of achievement even though Jungwoo laughed at almost everything, and was quite easy to please. He got changed quickly.

"Have fun." Jungwoo called, Lucas being halfway out the door. 

"See you!" 

Jungwoo smiled a bit to himself before turning back to Facebook. He was debating stalking another one of her social medias but he suddenly thought of trying to find the guy instead. Starting by scrolling through her friends list of nearly 5,000 people. He soon realized that this was a futile attempt at being an FBI agent and decided another approach: Checking out the parties this Friday. Through the pages of friends he and Jackie had mutually, he picked out a few that seemed in the general proximity of where he had been. Perhaps if he went there again this Friday he could determine the reliability of memory. This would make a good experiment for his Psychology thesis.

_Yeah, right._

* * *

* * *

_Monday 16:20_

"Cassandra Clare started working on her first book  _City of Bones_  in 2004," Mark was reading off the author's official biography. He and the unnamed boy were sitting in the library again, working away on their presentation- trying to, at least. The boy was perched on a chair sunk into a squat and was chewing the end of a pencil with his head tilted to the side. It made him look small, and cute, not like the small devil's child he really was. "It was inspired by her favourite place, Manhattan."

The boy let out a groan and Mark looked up from where he was reading to shoot him a look of irritation. "Let's just go through her Q&A, the things she says there are so much better."

"We  _will_ , we just need baseline facts first." Mark replied, exasperated. They had made progress before but it had hit a kind of peak point of productivity from where they climbed down again. 

"Okay, Mark Lee." The other boy sighed, bored. This wasn't helping them get anywhere so Mark decided it was time to change it.

"Alright, let's do something else." Mark said, shutting his laptop. The boy immediately perked up, putting down the pencil.

"Like what?"

"I don't know, just something else, like a walk or like writing or something..."

"... or a kind of game!" The boy grinned, showing off his teeth.

"Uh, if you want to, sure?" Mark wasn't really sure if he would enjoy whatever this kid was planning.

But said boy got down from his squat and sat normally on the chair, sitting him eye to eye level with Mark. This was almost more intimidating. "Just a sharing game, you say one thing about yourself, I say one thing about myself." Mark's mouth pinched a little, he was skeptical which made the other boy laugh. "It'll be fine, you don't have to share anything personal if you don't want to."

This let Mark relax a little bit. "Okay, I guess it makes sense since we're working on a project together but we know nothing about one another."

"Wow, really? Smart." He said, voice devoid of any emotion for a moment. "You start."

Mark thought for a moment. "Any chance I'm getting your name from this?" The boy gave him a  _look_  that easily answered Mark's question. Mark chuckled. "Okay, okay. I'm from Canada."

The boy nodded, acknowledging that this was an acceptable share. "I was born on Jeju island in South Korea."

"Oh, I'm Korean too!" Mark smiled widely. 

"Congratulations." The boy said and Mark hit his arm. The boy scrunched his face and rubbed his arm.

"My favourite sports are badminton and ice skating."

"My favourite course is Music." Mark's head snapped up at this. 

"Wait, you take Music?"

The boy looked at him, confused. "Yeah?" 

Mark raised his eyebrows. "Wouldn't we be in the same course then if we're in the same year?" 

"Oh," The boy raised his eyebrows as well, considering. "Yeah, do you have Edward?"

"Yeah!" 

"Oh what the fuck why have I never seen you before?"

Mark shrugged. "Probably because we didn't know each other until like, Friday or something."

"True." He replied before, out of nowhere, a splurge of notification noises erupted from his phone. It was closer to Mark so he picked it up to give it to the outstreched hand, but halfway through he noticed the messages were all from the same person and were all tagged with  _@fullsun_. "'Fullsun'?" Mark tested out, to see the boy's reaction.

He winced as he took the phone and began replying.  _Not the response I was hoping for but good enough_. "Yeah, it's the English translation of my Korean nickname."  _Oh_. Mark blinked. 

"So what would it be in Korean?"

The boy gave him a look that suggested there was no point in trying. But perhaps it was Mark's eagerness or his smile that made the boy give in. "You can just call me Haechan for now, then."

"Haechan." Mark repeated, testing out the name.

The boy was responding very quickly to the messages, Mark didn't even think that it was physically possible to type at this speed. 

"Okay, I'll call you that."

"Great."

Mark was about to drop the subject when another thought about the messages crossed his mind. "Wait what was the name of the person sending you messages?"

The boy- Haechan- tilted his head to the side, he stopped typing for a second to reply, before continuing. "Uh, why?"

"I thought their name said something with like, Lee Jeno, or something." Mark shrugged a bit.

Haechan had no visible reaction to this, which surprised Mark because he had been pretty sure he'd seen the name there. "It was a friend, but I don't think you saw they're name correctly." He said without looking up.

"Oh, okay." Mark knew Haechan heard how unsure he sounded. 

"Here, see." Haechan held up his phone and Mark squinted to see the name  _Lee Taeyong_ and a bunch of conversation about some Chemistry test one of them had done really well on. 

Mark leaned into his seat and Haechan took his phone back, but he only locked it and put it aside. "Isn't that the dance major who everyone in the grade above is low key obsessed with?"

Haechan pondered over this. "I have to say I don't know about the obsessed part, but the rest is true."

Mark gave a little "Hm" in response. "We should work."

"We should definitely work."

* * *

 

**the maknae is scary stop**

12 members

 

**yuta (16:24):**

any1 kno where hyuck is

 

**d o y o u n g (16:26):**

it's honestly beyond me why you didnt just message jaemin directly

 

**flirted w lee jeno/will probably continue to flirt w lee jeno (16:26):**

i got it

_@fullsun_

_@fullsun_

_@fullsun_

_@fullsun_

_@fullsun_

_@fullsun_

_@fullsun_

 

 

**fullsun (16:27):**

U IDIOT MARKLEe JUS T SAW MY FUCKiNG pHONE

 

**flirted w lee jeno/will probably continue to flirt w lee jeno (16:27):**

FCUkkkk I FORGOT U WERE W HIM SHIT

 

**yuta (16:27):**

oh nevermind my thing can def wait i need to see this

 

**d o y o u n g (16:27):**

same

 

**fullsun (16:27):**

DUDE HE MoST DEF SAW UR NAME

 

**flirted w lee jeno/will probably continue to flirt w lee jeno (16:27):**

SHIT 

 

**fullsun (16:28):**

IM CHANGINGIN IT

 

**fullsun renamed "flirted w lee jeno/will probably continue to flirt w lee jeno" to "Lee Taeyong"**

 

 

**Lee Taeyong (16:28):**

Y AM I TAEYONG

 

**fullsun (16:28):**

STFU I NEEDED aNOTHER LEE ND TAEYONGS NOT HERE ANYWAYS

@yuta

@d o y o u n g

ALL 3 OF U TALK ABOUT SMTH SCHOOL RIGHT THE FUCK NOW

 

**yuta (16:29):**

uH WTF?

 

**fullsun (16:29):**

JSUT Do IT HOLY SHIT

 

**d o y o u n g (16:29):**

Chemistry was probably one of the easiest tests ive ever taken today lmao

 

**yuta (16:30):**

oh shit how'd you do?

 

**d o y o u n g (16:30):**

probably high im great i know

 

**Lee Taeyong (16:30):**

wow yea so great

 

**yuta (16:30):**

yeah man congrats

 

**d o y o u n g (16:31):**

thanks guys

 

**Lee Taeyong (16:31):**

ur welcome

wow i hope tht was enough i ran out of compliments already lmao

 

**yuta (16:32):**

same lol

 

**d o y o u n g (16:32):**

wtf cant even compliment me?

 

**yuta (16:32):**

u didnt even rly have a test today stop

 

**d o y o u n g (16:32):**

but if i DID you wouldve failed at complimenting me

 

**Lee Taeyong (16:32):**

i think were done here

_(seen by 4)_

* * *

* * *

_Monday 17:38_

Taeyong walked, staring concerned down at his phone. It had blown up with notifications from the groupchat around an hour ago and then ceased to exist entirely. The gist of it, from what he could see, was Jaemin had somehow messed up in tagging Donghyuck and now Jaemin was him.  _Interesting_. He had planned on grabbing dinner before heading towards the dance studios block, as he did every Monday, but a sudden hand on his arm stopped him.

"Taeyong!" Yuta smiled widely and Taeyong couldn't help but return it. 

"Hello, Yuta." 

"You know there's this party going on tonight and I need you to do something for me." Yuta said, grabbing Taeyong's waist and taking him in the opposite direction from where he was headed. 

"I- uh, what?" Taeyong looked at Yuta weirdly in an attempt to set him off but it failed as he was ignored. 

Yuta pulled him along until they were standing outside the block where Taeyong knew Jungwoo and Lucas shared a dorm. "What are we doing here, Yuta?"

"So basically there's this party starting here, early I know, I hate it too," Yuta didn't give Taeyong a chance to voice his agreement. "And there's this really cute girl, she's Japanese, and I need a wingman, which will be you!"

Taeyong let his draw drop. "Yuta. Seriously? Me, your wingman? You're better off asking a bucket of eels for help, honestly." He tried pulling away.

"No, no, no," Yuta said, firmly. "Honestly I would've asked Donghyuck but he was busy with his latest obsession and if I took Jaemin he'd probably leave me to go flirt with everyone else, and anyone else I feel like would just be terrible at wingmanning so my thought process was: Taeyong can't be worse than everyone else, right? Plus you didn't seem to be doing anything."

"Actually, I was going to go to the dance studio and practice-"

Yuta sighed, which cut Taeyong off. "Taeyong, listen to me, I really mean it when I say you're more than capable of getting an amazing if not perfect score on your practical exam, you don't need to go everyday."

As much as it touched Taeyong, he couldn't tell Yuta the real reason he wanted to go. Perhaps he could've made an excuse that would've gotten him out of this predicament, but he was never someone who was able to lie easily so he decided it couldn't hurt to stay with Yuta tonight. Even if Yuta really didn't need a wingman. It was the confidence he lacked, even if he expressed himself so well, he lacked the confidence to feel proud of his achievements outside joking with Sicheng and Donghyuck.

The sun set and the night began, dragging on and on. The longer Taeyong was away from the dance studio, the more he realized how much more he would rather be there than here. Yuta ended up, as predicted, not needing a wingman at all, she was all over him. So Taeyong was left to wander around the poorly planned party on his own. He noticed an unsettling amount of condom wrappers all over the ground, alcohol cups crushed and flattened by the movement of drunk dancing, and a morbid amount of underwear strewn everywhere. It was barely 8:30 and everyone here was flat out wasted. How they were even going to get up in the morning was a mystery even to him.

Taeyong eventually found someone in the crowd that he did recognize beyond having exchanged a few words before. But he definitely was not going to say hi to a lip-locked Jaemin. The kid was barely 19 and had probably already made out with more people than Taeyong knew the names of.  _So much for flirting with Lee Jeno_  Taeyong thought as the girl he was with slid her arms under his shirt. That's when he knew it was time to look elsewhere and preferably, leave the general proximity of Jaemin. 

He found a corner to disappear into, where he could swirl the cheap bear he didn't take a sip of around and around. He let his mind wander to Ten, and how he wished he was literally anywhere else but if he had to play favourites, it would be the dance studio. Taeyong was sure he wouldn't even notice that Taeyong wasn't there but it was nice to dream of a guy who looked for him when he was missing.

Maybe he would have something like that someday.

* * *

 

* * *

  _Monday 19:21_

Sweat dripped off him like rain slid off a car window. He wiped at it gently. The dance was perfect, everything about the way he performed he knew, was perfect. But there was something missing. It had been missing for twenty-one minutes. Ten looked at the empty half of the room. He had even waited five minutes to see if he would show up. But he hadn't. He guessed he had better things to do anyways.

* * *

* * *

  _Monday 22:12_

Jaehyun pushed open the library doors, sober this time, very sober. Yet despite not being quite as sober a few nights ago, he had remembered someone he'd met. He didn't actually have any contact details from him, nor his last name, nor anything other than the name 'Doyoung', really. However, he had a gut feeling that he would be in the same place. So that's where Jaehyun decided to go.

As he reached the general area of the booths, he saw nearly all of them full again, except for the last one. It was the same scenario as last time, only Drunk-Jaehyun wasn't the one driving this round. Jaehyun slid into the booth, much like he had done before. Doyoung sat across from him, doing a practice exam.

"Hey." Jaehyun said and smiled when Doyoung looked up.

"Hi?"

"I'm Sober-Jaehyun, nice to meet you." Jaehyun said and leaned forward on his hands, elbows rests on the table to support his head. "Drunk-Me asked you to tutor me for Chemistry."

Doyoung smiled a bit, though it was small. "Honestly, I thought you would be too drunk to remember that."

"I am shocked you would think that."

"You passed out while you were here last time," Doyoung nodded towards the bruise Jaehyun had on his wrist that he had no idea where it had come from.  _Well that's one mystery solved then_. "Your friend had to pick you up and take you home."

Jaehyun  _did_  remember that part, Johnny had come, Jaehyun recalled some chattering between him and Doyoung about 'apologizing for my friend' and 'sorry for being a bother'. "We can ignore that happened."

Doyoung shook his head, not in disagreement, but rather, in exasperation.

"I guess I should ask properly whether you would tutor me or not. Though I don't think I have the charm or the persuasion skills compared to when I was drunk." Doyoung laughed at this and Jaehyun was quite proud for a moment. 

"No it's fine, I'll help you," Doyoung gave him a smile. "Do you need the entire course or just specific sections."

"Take your pick."

"Okay, so, I'll start with the basics, then." Doyoung began producing things from his bag and stacking notes on the table, likely all done ages ago but now needed for Jaehyun. 

"Thank you, Doyoung."

Doyoung raised his eyebrows. "Oh you actually remember my name as well, damn, that's another surprise." Jaehyun chuckled in response. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and the kudos! I was so excited to see them, it really made my day, thank you!
> 
> I'm trying to use it more so: [follow me on twitter!!](http://twitter.com/wired_roses)  
> 


	4. How many species of snakes does it take to identify you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't even say why this took me so long to publish  
> sorry :((

**guys I made this groupchat for work not for actual groupchatting**

6 members

 

**johnny added Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul  
**

 

**johnny (13:49):**

uh ya no not dealing with that 

 

**johnny renamed "Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkil" to "TEN"**

 

**TEN (13:49):**

but why am i in caps

 

**johnny (13:49):**

bcause we're EXCITED you're here

 

**renjwen (13:50):**

woot woot

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (13:50):**

but u didnt actualy j type that right, jun?

 

**renjwen (13:50):**

uh

clearly i did?

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (13:51):**

im calling the fucking police

 

**renjwen (13:51):**

?????????????????????

 

**MarkLee (13:51):**

????????????????????????????????

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (13:51):**

J GROSS TO TYPE

 

**TEN (13:51):**

honestly i agree

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (13:52):**

see yea thank u ten

knew ud be gud to add

y did u j get added btw

 

**TEN (13:52):**

just downloaded the app lol

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (13:52):**

..

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (13:52):**

??

 

**renjwen (13:52):**

???

 

**MarkLee (13:52):**

????

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (13:52):**

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

**johnny (13:52):**

this is embarrassing for me to read

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (13:53):**

that is the worst reason in the history of terrible reasons

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (13:53):**

preach that

_(seen by everyone)_

* * *

 

_Wednesday 12:37_

"It honestly shocks me that it took Ten so long to get Messenger." Jeno said as he, Renjun, and Mark walked down the hallway. All three of their classes had just ended so they had met up. 

Renjun groaned while Mark answered. "You're still on that? It was yesterday, stop." 

"I'm just saying," Jeno continued. "It's 2018 shouldn't we all have Messenger?"

"Jeno, no." Mark responded but Jeno kept going, ranting on about some kind of 'Basic Social Necessity'. Mark listened without actually absorbing what he was saying, his mind was lost thinking about virtually anything else. Like a certain red-brown haired boy who refused to produce any hint of a real name. They were on their way to Flyers Café where the three of them ate together every Wednesday. It was difficult for them to find times to spend together as a trio, what with the completely different subjects they took and all. Yet even with the course change Mark did, they had managed to find the two free hours Wednesday lunch that overlapped. It was a blessing, really.

"I'm sure even that guy you don't know the name of has Messenger." Jeno insisted, grabbing Mark's arm who responded by shrugging him off, ever so slightly amazed that Jeno had virtually just read Mark's thoughts.  

"I'm sure he does too," Mark began, slowly, drawing out the agreement he knew Jeno would appreciate. "But that doesn't mean everyone in the world in 2018 has Messenger, what about people without phones? Besides, he's not someone I don't know the name of anymore."

"Yeah, yeah, I know not everyone in the world has a phone-" Jeno's head snapped to Mark midthought. "Wait a minute what do you mean you don't not know his name anymore?"

Mark made a weird spinning gesture with his hands, which Renjun regarded with confusion and mild disgust. "Well, I don't technically know his  _real_ name but I have a nickname-"

"That doesn't fucking count." Jeno retaliated. 

"Count for what?" 

"That doesn't count as a  _name_." 

Mark shrugged. "It's fine, I'm sure he'll tell me eventually, I'll just use it until then." He then remembered the task he had assigned Jeno. "Oh wait, yeah that means you don't have to find out from that friend, what's his name? Jaemin!"

Jeno quirked a brow. "No, that doesn't count at all. I'll get his real name."

"Why are you so hung up on this." Renjun spoke for the first time since they'd met up, it was followed with a long sigh.

"Yeah, I'm doing this for Mark."

"He literally just said you didn't have to."

"I did say that." Mark supplied.

"Yeah, but how long do you think it would take you to get his real name, if he's as stubborn as you've been describing him. Wouldn't it be more likely for me to get it faster?" Jeno pointed out and even though he exchanged a look with Renjun who clearly did not agree with what Jeno was saying, Mark had to admit he had a point. Haechan was probably never going to willingly give his real name, he would have to figure it out some trickier way. 

Another look at Renjun had Mark knowing the other boy already knew what he was going to respond with. "Oh my god." Renjun mumbled.

"Okay, I admit, Haechan would probably never really tell me." Mark relented and Jeno grinned. With a smile like that it was almost impossible for anyone to really disagree with Jeno anyways. 

"The name he gave you was Haechan? As in... full sun?" Renjun inquired.

"Yep. He actually takes the same Music course as I do, we had just never known each other." He was about to add more when it hit him what he was supposed to be currently doing. "Oh shit! I completely forgot I was supposed to be handing in my Music piece!" He was already turned the other way before either Jeno or Renjun could react.

"Wait what?!" Jeno shouted, Mark was running down the hall.

"Sorry! I'll catch up later!" Mark called back.

* * *

* * *

_Wednesday 12:42_

"Okay, I guess it's just us." Renjun sounded bewildered and Jeno couldn't help but agree with that feeling. It wasn't that confusing, rather, it was sudden. Jeno was the first to shake himself off.

"Let's go, I'm hungry." He said and Renjun nodded. 

"Oh but we're meeting Jisung, I forgot to say." Renjun added.

"Sure."

It was a five or so minute walk to the café which they filled with mindless chatter, not something completely memorable but he was one of Jeno's closest friends so not something he would just let pass through his ear... normally. They arrived at the place to be greeted by the smell of baked goods and warm drinks to battle the cold. The walls consisted of windows which accentuated the natural light of day, slightly dulled by heavier winter clouds. It was busy, but not so busy that they wouldn't be able to find a table. Jisung waved as they walked in, just waiting by the counter. 

"Hey, have you seen they added some kind of pumpkin spice latte?" He said by a ways of greeting it seemed. 

"Are you kidding me? It's just barely December, why is every café in the world hyping up for Christmas already?" Renjun complained, Jisung nodded enthusiastically, concurring. Jeno didn't really have an opinion on pumpkin spice lattes or early Christmas celebrations so he just hummed in agreement to his friend. He was looking around for a table when he spotted someone familiar. He didn't realize it right then, but the mind likes to search for people subconsciously.  

Jeno nudged Renjun who turned to him with a questioning look. "I'm going to go complete my mission." Renjun glanced behind him then looked back to Jeno in exasperation. 

"Seriously?" He said, clearly having seen what Jeno meant. Also probably due to the fact that they were just talking about it with Mark not twenty minutes ago. 

"Seriously," Jeno smiled. "Bye!" And he turned around and walked off in the direction of Na Jaemin.

* * *

* * *

_Wednesday 12:53_

Renjun watched his friend walk off, he supposed he would've been surprised were it not for the fact that he knew Jeno well enough to recognize a task he'd become obsessed with. Every case had him like this, though admittedly, he was more committed than usual. Renjun pinpointed several potential reasons which he mentally noted down.

"Should we sit somewhere then, Jisung?" He asked after successfully storing his thoughts in his long term memory. 

But when he turned he noticed Jisung looked nervous, bordering on queasy, really. "Uh, I'm actually going to go meet Chenle..."

Renjun raised his eyebrows. "... At the dentist?"

Jisung coughed once. "Yeah, I'm just going to wait for him outside." He said, spun around, and ran off like that was completely normal. 

Renjun stood there for a moment longer, gaping after him. 

 _Um. No._  

And he ran after Jisung who was most definitely hiding something.

* * *

 

_Wednesday 12:53_

"Mind if I sit here?" Na Jaemin looked up from his laptop and met Jeno's eyes. He noted Jaemin's mental registration of Jeno cross his features. Once it cleared, Jaemin gave him a smile.

"Be my guest." Jaemin gestured towards the empty chair. It was a table for two at the window.  _Very romantic_. Jeno sat down returning the smile, he leaned forward on his hands and watched Jaemin put down his drink and close his laptop, before just outright staring. Jaemin waited a few seconds before speaking again. "Is there a reason you came over or...?"

Honestly, Jeno didn't really think this through, he came over on what he believed to have been instinct though it was difficult to say for certain. "Is my company not appreciated?" He asked, giving a small pout. Hopefully the conversation wouldn't need much directing from him, considering he had no real plan on how to get the name out of him. He was also hoping the question would throw Jaemin off, he liked having the upper hand.

Yet Jeno made the mistake of underestimating a snake, and he should've taken into account that Jaemin was known as a 'serial dater'. So why was he surprised when Jaemin replied within a second?

"Oh no, your company is more than appreciated," Jaemin grinned fully and as smooth as velvet added: "It's cherished."

Unintentionally, Jeno let his eyes grow wide, but he caught himself moments after. He decided not to let the flash of exposure dictate how he'd act, even if Jaemin looked like he had done a mental save on Jeno's reaction. "Do you talk to everyone you meet like that?" 

"Only the attractive ones."

"Oh my god." It was too late before Jeno realized he'd said it outloud, so he needed to go with it. "This must be exactly how you get everyone to fall for you."

"Every _one_?" Jaemin cocked his head, leading him on. It was at this point where Jeno noticed they had in fact, leaned in multiple inches closer to one another across the table. It was also here, that Jeno realized he'd fallen into the trap he promised himself he wouldn't.  _Fuck._  This should've been the point where he made an excuse, got up, and left... but he couldn't; because for some reason, the uncontrollable curiosity that was only present during conversations about love, surfaced in a random mildly flirtatious situation that Jeno was in.

"Everyone you go after. You know at least 90% of all females you've dated came to me asking about you, right?" It was the kind of word vomit- which he hated to admit- that was a cover up for the fact that he had no way of retaliating the provocative question Jaemin managed to create with a single word. 

Jeno almost let out a sigh of relief when Jaemin leaned back in his chair, taking whatever tension there was along with him. His heart had tripled in pace in the last few minutes but he didn't know why, so he was letting it return to normality with a quick topic change. "Yeah, so I've heard." He paused for a moment, seemingly to try to remember something. He was tapping his chin while looking up at the ceiling, Jeno followed the movements with his eyes. He stopped when Jaemin looked at him again. "You know, I'm pretty sure Sara did as well."

Jeno tilted his head to the side in question. "Who's-" He was cut off by a female voice, Jeno glanced at her. She was tall, green-eyed, and blonde-haired, and dressed in an outfit that screamed fashion student.  

"Sorry I'm late," The blonde said, smiling at Jaemin who's gaze was still on Jeno. "Design teacher kept me back."  _Nailed it_ , Jeno preened in the light of being correct and smiled slightly. But he stopped when he remembered Jaemin was looking at him, a corner of his mouth quirked which suggested he was noting Jeno's actions. In order to stop Jaemin's learning spree, Jeno decided to focus on the girl again.

But then, Jeno wasn't really sure where he was supposed to be looking or if he should be getting up to make room for who he definitely suddenly remembered as Sara. She had indeed asked him- about two or three weeks ago- for the name of the boy in Film who had a really pretty smile. She had come back days later saying that she had found him, which was good because Jeno had thirty others he was trying to handle at the same time. He hadn't paid much attention to it. He looked at Jaemin, then back at Sara, Jaemin, Sara, Jaemin, Sara until she spoke again to fill the silence.

"Um, so are we still having that date?" Her voice went higher at the end in hope.  _Oh,_ Jeno realized,  _Oh this is supposed to be a date-_

But Jaemin answered before he even finished his thought. "Actually, since you're late I'm busy now," Jaemin turned to give her a smile who's sweetness sugar couldn't beat. The comment itself, Jeno thought, was quite rude, but the way he managed to deliver it wasn't. "I'll text you, we'll set up another one."

Her brow slowly furrowed until she was frowning, she seemed perplexed, like she couldn't properly grasp that Jaemin had essentially just turned her away. Though, with Jaemin still looking at her like a prince would look at a pretty princess, it was only a matter of time before she lost. "Okay, I guess we'll reschedule."

"Thanks, Sara." Jeno flinched at the syrup coated tone Jaemin managed to incorporate into two words. She nodded once, returned his smile, and roamed off. 

He turned back to Jeno. "I guess I forgot to mention she was coming."

"I could've just left, you know, it wasn't a big deal." Jeno nodded at the exit.

"Nah," Jaemin shrugged, pulling his drink closer to him.  _Pumpkin spice_ , Jeno noted. "I'd rather sit here with you, right now." And Jeno felt something in his chest thump one too many times, before it returned to it's normal beating again.

* * *

* * *

 

_Wednesday 12:50_

"Did you know the Bristlemouth fish is the most abundant vertebrate on earth?" Johnny recited, reading off the Marine Biology textbook.

"The what is the most abundant what?" Jaehyun chorused, and Taeyong offered a questioning glance, his way of showing he was in the state of bewilderment Jaehyun was. Entering Flyers Café had been a hassle, an sudden influx of freshman with far too much free time had arrived at the same time as Taeyong, Jaehyun, and Johnny, resulting in a slight traffic jam towards the counter. They were in search of a table, which proved to be yet another difficult task. 

"The  _Bristlemouth_ is the most abundant  _vertebrate._ " Johnny repeated, emphasizing the words. 

Taeyong took one look at Jaehyun's unwavering baffled expression and answered for him. "Just give up." Johnny was quick to comply after letting out a heavy sigh. Muttering something that Taeyong found sounded very similar to 'brainless idiots'.

"At least there's a table for us." Taeyong followed where Johnny was pointing to and did indeed see a table, it was situated one of the larger windows. They made there way over while Jaehyun offered to purchase their food and drinks referring to their orders as 'the same, right?'. The day had been surprisingly good for Taeyong, he'd received multiple remarks about his choreography and his media professor had even complimented his ability to remember to bring a pencil to class, which he forgot nearly 100% of the time. His thoughts ran wild into his choreography as they sat down in a short comfortable silence. It was the choreo in particular that triggered him to remember something he wanted to ask.

"Are you coming to the Winter Showcase?"

"Oh it's in the last week before break, right?" Johnny asked and Taeyong nodded. "Yep, I'll be there, I'm dragging Jaehyun and a couple other friends too." Taeyong laughed. The showcase was an event organized by the Music and Dance departments of the university where the Music students were required to compose a piece that the Dance students would need to choreograph to. Taeyong genuinely enjoyed the process, well he did in the years before, as long as he got a good partner and was paired with composers who listened to the requests of the dancers. So far he was lucky. "Do you have your partner yet?"

Taeyong pursed his lips which was probably enough of an answer to Johnny but he replied verbally anyways. "Not... quite yet."

"Uh, I feel like that's something you're supposed to have done by now?" Johnny's eyes were wide.

"Maybe."

"I would get on that."

"I would, too." Taeyong replied and Johnny chuckled. The pairs were due Saturday at noon which gave Taeyong pretty much three more days to find someone. The partners weren't allowed to be the same ones as previous years which is why it was harder, though he knew a lot of people would love to partner with him, he had one person in mind that he really wanted to be with. "I'll figure it out, I just need to get a vibe of everyone's dance styles before I ask."

"You did not just say 'vibe'." 

"I... did?"

"Please spend some more time on Urban Dictionary or something." Johnny sighed as he made space for Jaehyun who was placing the drinks and plates of food down without high levels of stability. Taeyong grimaced as nearly all the drinks lost some of their fluid in the process.

"Are you guys going to the party at Takaya's this Friday?" Jaehyun said as he sat down next to Taeyong.

Johnny suddenly brightened. "Oh yeah! I was going to ask the same thing." He turned to Taeyong, knowing he would be out of the loop.

"I'm not really sure..." Taeyong winced as he remembered the last party he went to. He wasn't really thrilled with memories of a whipped Yuta and a girl with her tongue down Jaemin's throat. It was shuddering to think about, like it left a bad taste in his mouth. 

"Seriously? Everyone's going to be there, come." Jaehyun hit his shoulder gently with his drink-free hand.

"I think I'll pass on this one." Taeyong decided which wasn't an answer that visibly pleased Jaehyun but Johnny backed him up.

"There'll be more, anyways." Johnny's hand suddenly shot up and began waving almost frantically at someone in the distance. Taeyong turned to look and-

 _Oh man._ Ten raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement of Johnny's grasp for attention as he squeezed through two guys with hockey sticks. He made his way to the table without nudging anyone. Taeyong began focusing on his features, schooling them into what he hoped was natural neutrality. He had to work to make sure his jaw wouldn't slack. 

"Hey, sit with us." Johnny said moving down a chair from Taeyong to sit next to the window, Ten occupied the space and Taeyong felt his lungs constrict, within seconds, they were screaming for air. He had just indulged his organs with oxygen when Johnny turned to Taeyong. "Do you two know each other?"

Ten turned to Taeyong, which of course, didn't help the momentary oxygen deficiency. Taeyong wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. Did they know each other? Did Ten even recognize him? Questions flew in and out of his thoughts like a rapid firecannon. He opened his mouth and shut it again. This was the movement that caused a corner of Ten's mouth to twitch before he smiled calmly. It was the same smile that he always gave in the mirror of the dance practice room, it was also the smile that told him Ten knew exactly who he was.

"I think we may have met before." He answered, smoothly. "I'm Ten, you take dance, right?"

Taeyong took a second longer, but he caught himself. "I- yeah, I'm in dance. I'm Taeyong." Ten smiled wider in response to which Taeyong's stomach did seven backflips in a row.

"Great, now that we all know each other." Jaehyun's voice was laced with impatience as he hit the table. "Ten, are  _you_ going to Takaya's party this Friday?" 

"Yeah." He replied as he grabbed Johnny's drink. 

"Taeyong isn't." Johnny said, placing his arm on the table on lean on.

Ten turned back to Taeyong. "You aren't?" He was sipping on the cup of coffee with an expression that Taeyong couldn't really decipher. 

"Uh... no...?" Taeyong replied and Johnny scrunched his face in confusion, Taeyong felt nervous at the possibility that Johnny was reacting this way because he suddenly sounded uncertain about his rejection.

Ten didn't seem to notice Taeyong's doubt, or maybe he did and that's why he spoke again. "There's going to be a dance competition, you're an amazing dancer, you should come for that."

Taeyong's eyebrows went up in surprise and a sudden wave of appreciation went over him as he took in the fact that Ten had just complimented his dancing. He didn't have the time to process that this was a good excuse for him to change his mind, luckily Jaehyun did.

"Oh my god! You can't miss it now, Taeyong. That's it, you're coming." 

Taeyong opened his mouth but closed it again, because he had no objection and was actually entirely blessed with the fact that Ten had formed this beautiful excuse for him. It was then, when Taeyong looked back and Ten, and saw that he had the most heart wrenching smile on his face, and Taeyong couldn't help but return it.  _Oh,_ Taeyong realized,  _this is the first time we've spoken._

* * *

* * *

 

_Wednesday 12:58_

"No, no, there was this guy who wanted to collect these eggs." Lucas shook his head in response to Jungwoo's previous guess. He had seen a movie yesterday which he couldn't remember the name of, this was a common occurrence and it always bugged Lucas that he couldn't recall the names of films, so of course, the two of them had made a kind of game out of it. Lucas described the plot and the characters to the best of his ability, while Jungwoo guessed.

"Collects eggs? Rise of the Guardians?" Jungwoo guessed and Lucas looked confused. "There's an easter bunny."

Lucas made an  _ah_ noise. "No, not that. There was also this... relationship between the guy and the girl."

"So, virtually every movie ever?" Jungwoo provided as he picked up his order from the café counter. He held on tight to absorb as much heat as he could.

"Damn, okay, I see your point." Lucas tapped his chin. "I think there was this cult organization of a K-Pop group." 

Jungwoo cocked his head. "What? What kind of movies do you and Jackie watch?" There was a pang of guilt that went through Jungwoo's mind every time he said or heard her name.

"I think it was... I.O.I?" Lucas looked up in his attempt to recall details.

"I.O.I...?" This bewildered Jungwoo even more, he had to think a moment before it hit him. "Oh my god... are you talking about Ready Player One?"

"That's it!" Lucas pointed at Jungwoo, eyes wide and excited from having figured it out.

"You couldn't have said there was a video game?!" Jungwoo said, entirely exasperated. 

Lucas pondered over this. "You know what, that actually slipped my mind." Jungwoo laughed as Lucas waved at someone behind. "It's Taeyong." Jungwoo turned around and squinted to see it was indeed Taeyong waving at them. He was sitting with Johnny, Jaehyun, and Ten who he'd never spoken to but everyone knew about anyways.

"Oh, let's go sit," Jungwoo began to make his way over when Lucas grabbed his shoulder to stop him. Jungwoo turned to give him a puzzled stare. 

"We're rainchecking, though." Lucas said, sounding anxious. Jungwoo laughed slightly, knowing Lucas only felt bad because it was supposed to be just the two of them. 

"It's fine, we're still sitting together," Jungwoo gestured around the café where a frenzy of students were still pouring in to keep warm and grab lunch before afternoon classes began. "Besides, they have a table." He gently tugged Lucas's hand who complied.

Johnny waved as they got close, there was one chair left. "There's a spare chair at the table behind us." Johnny gestured. Lucas nudged Jungwoo to sit in the chair already there as he went over to the neighbouring table to ask about the spare. He returned moments later and placed it next to Jungwoo's. 

"Some random girl at that table invited me to a party this Friday?" Lucas said when he'd sat down. It sounded a lot like a question, though it wasn't really one.

Jaehyun finger gunned Lucas. "Yep, it's at Takaya's." Jungwoo stiffened with the recollection of his plan to go to a party to find out about Jackie. It was supposed to be at the party they were currently discussing.

"Oh shit, we gotta go, Jungwoo." Lucas turned to his friend and shook him slightly, which discontinued his glassy look. 

Jungwoo swallowed before replying. "Uh, yeah, sure." His mind worked to find another way to do this, a chime went off as he established there was a question he needed to ask. "Are you bringing Jackie?"

Lucas thought about this. "Why don't we just go as a friend group?" Jungwoo nodded and smiled at everyone else. If Jackie didn't know he was going, perhaps he could still find out. Or Lucas would. Lucas suddenly turned away from Jungwoo. "Speaking of friends, I know your name but I don't think we've ever spoken?" He stuck his hand out to shake Ten's who smiled. 

"I'm Ten- oh wait, you said you knew that."

"I'm Lucas! That's Jungwoo." He nodded his head in Jungwoo's direction. Jungwoo smiled at Ten and waved, too far to stick out his hand. 

"Oh, are you the Psychology student who did Lofters experiment last year?" Ten asked politely, and Jungwoo was just about to tell him it was indeed he who did that, but something caught his eye from behind Ten. 

Jungwoo's instinctive move was nudging Lucas and he pointed at the duo. Lucas squinted to see what Jungwoo was seeing and he gasped. "Oh my god!" That got everyone's attention, it wiped the confused expressions off their faces as they all turned. 

"Oh my god." Jaehyun echoed.

"Oh my god?" Johnny chorused.

"Wait, seriously?" Taeyong gaped at where Na Jaemin and Lee Jeno were leaned in, quite, quite close. 

"This is too good, what a lying snake." Lucas whispered as he whipped out his phone, everyone else at the table following suit. Jungwoo observed this frenzy for seconds longer before referring to his own phone for insight. The groupchat was exploding.

* * *

* * *

 

**the maknae is scary stop**

12 members

 

**xuxi (13:03):**

U SMILY FUNGUS 

 

**junguwu (13:03):**

slimy

 

**xuxi (13:03):**

U SLIMY FUNGUS

 

**d o y o u n g (13:03):**

?

 

**yuta (13:03):**

i second that question mark

 

**taeyong (13:03):**

jaemins flirting with lee jeno

like rn

like theyre sitting at the same table

leaned in close

 

**kUn (13:03):**

WAIT WHERE IM COMING

 

**xuxi (13:03):**

FLYERS

 

**kUn (13:03):**

OH SHIT IM RIGHT THERE

OMW

BRINGING SICHENG

 

**yuta (13:04):**

BRINGING MYSELF

 

**xuxi (13:04):**

TAKEPICS IM GETTING HIS ATTENTION

 

**kUn (13:04):**

ON IT

 

**xuxi (13:04):**

_@Lee Taeyong_

_@Lee Taeyong_

_@Lee Taeyong_

 

 

**taeyong (13:04):**

what?

oh shit that not me

 

**xuxi (13:04):**

EVERYONE HELP

_@Lee Taeyong_

 

**yuta (13:04):**

_@Lee Taeyong_

_@Lee Taeyong_

 

 

**d o y o u n g (13:04):**

tf

_@Lee Taeyong_

 

**xuxi (13:04):**

_@Lee Taeyong_

_@Lee Taeyong_

ah shit

 

**d o y o u n g (13:05):**

what

what happened

can someone fill me in

im not there

 

**junguwu (13:05):**

they left 

 

**d o y o u n g (13:06):**

ffs

 

**taeILL (13:06):**

ive come just to say

it may have been due to you guys spamming

 

**xuxi (13:06):**

no way rly

 

**yuta (13:06):**

wow a MASTERMIND

 

**d o y o u n g (13:06):**

you really managed to crack the case on this one

 

**taeILL (13:06):**

okay

thanks

 

**Lee Taeyong (13:07):**

I HOPE ALl oF U FALL FOF A CLIFF

 

**xuxi (13:07):**

eyyyyyy

what up

how wad the date

 

**Lee Taeyong (13:07):**

j wasnt a date 

i hate u 

all of u

cept jisung n chenle they didnt do shit to me

 

**taeILL (13:07):**

i didnt either

 

**Lee Taeyong (13:07):**

u were present

tht counts

 

**fullsun (13:08):**

i wasnt 

 

**Lee Taeyong (13:08):**

ur u

tht counts 

_(seen by everyone)_

* * *

* * *

 

_Wednesday 13:04_

An entourage of pings erupted from Jaemin's phone, he scowled at it.  _Who the fuck-_ He picked it up, ready to deliberately delete whoever it was, especially if it was Donghyuck. Instead, he was met with the name of the groupchat, who's messaging didn't cease, and his nickname being tagged several times by-

 _Oh shit_ , he took notice of the content of the messages. Words and phrases such as 'flirt', 'take pics', and 'lee jeno' were being used in the same sentences. Jaemin's head snapped up and he whipped around, only to be caught in the traps of pairs of mischievously gleaming eyes, and Iphone who's camera was pointed directly at him.

He whipped back to Jeno who was frowning at his own phone, notifications were going off there too so Jaemin decided this was the perfect time for him to make an excuse to leave.

"I actually have to, uh, leave." Jaemin flinched internally at his slight hesitation. He expected a question but Jeno jumped up at the same time he did.

"Oh! Yeah, so do I." He smiled, though Jaemin couldn't quite confirm the genuineness of it.

"So, bye."

"Bye." 

And they both hurried off in different directions, though Jaemin made sure to drop a glare in the direction of his  _friends_.

* * *

* * *

 

**guys I made this groupchat for work not for actual groupchatting**

6 members

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (13:08):**

;)

 

**johnny (13:08):**

;)

 

**TEN (13:08):**

;)

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (13:08):**

stfu

* * *

* * *

 

_Wednesday 20:04_

Jaemin was, very successfully, avoiding the topic of Lee Jeno. Donghyuck had picked up on this several times throughout their conversation, Jaemin would always switch to mention something about a class or something about a rumour, it never stayed on the topic of himself. Donghyuck; however, was very determined to discuss the contents of the groupchat's afternoon tea. It was during a weak moment, where Jaemin brought up some pretty girl he'd seen, that Donghyuck struck.

"Speaking of pretty girls, I've decided to bring up the subject of Lee Jeno." Donghyuck gave his best mock smile for effect. 

Jaemin sighed, loudly, which was not an unexpected response. "Fuck. I was hoping we wouldn't." He muttered.

"Too bad, it's me," Donghyuck stuck both his hands out before bringing them to pat lightly on his chest. "So you were flirting?"

"I wasn't flirting." Jaemin said, surely.

"That's not what the text nor the pictures suggested." Donghyuck countered. 

"Well, I don't know what to say to you," Jaemin gave another sigh as he stood from his bed and walked over to their mini fridge, which was stocked with all the necessities for sustaining life, and pulled out a can of coke. "I wasn't flirting."

"Fine, then what  _were_ you doing leaning so close to him?"

Jaemin took a sip from his drink, which Donghyuck knew was to give him a moment to think, most females didn't pick up on that little trick. "We were discussing people of interest."

Donghyuck waited a moment before beginning a slow clap. "Congratulations, you've successfully managed to deliver the most ambiguous statement I've ever heard. Really, wow, go you, winning in life." Donghyuck rambled off faux congratulatory words.

"Shut up." Jaemin responded. Simple yet effective as it did indeed, shut Donghyuck up. For a second.

"There is so much evidence that suggests you were flirting with him, why not just admit bisexuality so we can all go home-" 

Jaemin cut him off. "Okay firstly, we are home, second, I am actually currently seeing a girl so maybe get your facts checked before you make accusations."

Donghyuck blinked. "You make it sound like being bisexual is a bad thing."

"That's not what I meant." Jaemin frowned. "I just... am a guy, who doesn't like guys."

"You know, it's 2018, evolve that mindset and keep up." Donghyuck scolded. 

"I didn't mean it in a bad way, okay?" 

"Okay." There was a short silence, Donghyuck wasn't really sure what he was supposed to be filling it with, which was peculiar for them. They always talked. 

Luckily, Jaemin didn't let the momentary awkwardness drag on long. "There's a party this Friday, you're coming, right?

"Oh, definitely." Donghyuck felt relief wash over him, though he wasn't entirely sure why.

"It's at Takaya's."

Donghyuck scrunched his face, in mild disgust. "He always has the shittiest beer."

"But the best parties if you don't touch the beer." Jaemin pointed out, it was a lighthearted atmosphere again.

"Valid. I'll give you that."  _But I won't give you my belief that you're not interested in him._

* * *

* * *

 

_Wednesday 20:05_

"Can you chill, I'm not actually interested in him." Jeno frowned in response to his accusation of flirtation. Mark wasn't convinced. It felt like Jeno was trying to derail him from his conclusions.

"Doesn't really seem that way." Mark was tentative, he didn't want to upset his friend.  _Tread carefully_.

Jeno huffed slightly. "It's not flirting, we're not even friends."

"You don't have to be friends to flirt." Mark offered.

"This is dumb," Jeno mumbled, Mark wasn't sure if he had meant to say that outloud or not so he chose not to response, rather, he let Jeno continue. "I'm doing this for you, man."

"Uh, are you sure?"

"Uh, yeah I'm pretty fucking sure."

Mark squinted but relaxed quickly, choosing to trust that his friend was telling the truth and was certain about himself. "Okay, I believe you."

"Thank you." Jeno let out a sigh, out of frustration or relief, Mark couldn't tell but he didn't want to press him about it. "I actually came back early to force you to come to a party with me this Friday, it's at Takaya's."

"Isn't he a third year? We're freshman." Mark furrowed his brow. Really, though, he shouldn't have been surprised that Jeno would have an invitation.

"He invited me, told me to bring friends." Jeno made circles with his fingers in Mark's general direction. "That's you, you're my friend."

"Thanks for the clarification." Mark deadpanned and Jeno laughed. At the same time, Mark and Jeno's phones chimed and their phones lit up with a notification from the groupchat. "Oh what the-"

* * *

* * *

 

**guys I made this groupchat for work not for actual groupchatting**

8 members

 

**renjwen added Park Jisung**

**renjwen added Zhong Chenle**

 

**renjwen (20:07):**

hello im here to give you some information about snakes

 

**MarkLee (20:07):**

what

 

**renjwen (20:07):**

snakes are carnivores

they do not have eyelids

they don't bite food they just swallow hit whole

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (20:08):**

whats going on

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (20:08):**

i dont fucking kno

 

**renjwen (20:08):**

they have flexible jaws

are found on every continent in the world

they dont have external ears

 

**johnny (20:08):**

what the fuck is going on

 

**TEN (20:08):**

wait they dont ???

how do they hear

 

**johnny (20:08):**

thats completely irrelevant wtf

 

**renjwen (20:09):**

they can have over 400 rib bones

over 200 teeth

 

**MarkLee (20:09):**

im so lost

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (20:09):**

who isnt

 

**renjwen (20:09):**

they only need to eat 6-30 times a year

not all snakes have fangs

fangs are replaceable

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (20:09):**

i will literally beg u to stop

 

**renjwen (20:10):**

and they come in the form of Park Jisung and Zhong Chenle who knew both of which are some of Na Jaemin's closest friends which they neglected to tell you jeno and have continued not to tell you and are in a massive groupchat with him where they know a lot about what Na Jaemin actually thinks about you but they didnt tell you that either and they also know Haechan's real name for you mark but they didn't tell you that either despite being closer with us first and they pretty much know everyones everything so yeah biggest snakes i fucking know

 

**Park Jisung (20:10):**

damn 

didnt expect a paragraph

 

**Zhong Chenle (20:10):**

same

thought he was gonna be more subtle ngl

**jeNO one fails on my watch (20:10):**

(UFHEOAJLKHFDIAEKLJDIOAEKLJDIOAELDIOAEFJIAJK

WTF 

R U SRS

 

**MarkLee (20:10):**

NO WAY 

I FEEL SO BETRAYED

 

**renjwen renamed "Park Jisung" to "snake #1"**

**renjwen renamed "Zhong Chenle" to "snake #2"**

 

**snake #1 (20:11):**

wow thx

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (20:11):**

AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA 

 

**johnny (20:11):**

WAIT THATS SO FUNNY BUT ALSO SO SAD

ALSO THE WAY YOU TOLD US WAS LEGENDARY RENJUN

 

**renjwen (20:11):**

thanks i worked hard

squeezed it out of them

 

**snake #2 (20:11):**

he literally choked jisung

 

**snake #1 (20:11):**

he did

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (20:11):**

yeah HE BETTER HAVE

IM SO NAGRY

 

**renjwen (20:12):**

dont forget your english when expressing emotions

 

**MarkLee (20:12):**

Y DIDNT U TELL US OMG

 

**snake #1 (20:12):**

u didnt ask

 

**MarkLee (20:13):**

...

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (20:13):**

....

o we didnt ask did we ??

 

**snake #1 (20:13):**

ya

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (20:13):**

I DIDNT THINK ID NEED TO FCKING ASK

TF U DIDNT SAY SHIT WEN U WERE HELPING ME

 

**MarkLee (20:13):**

I AM SO PANICKED GUYS

JUST TELL ME HIS NAME

 

**snake #2 (20:13):**

cant

he made the group promise not to

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (20:14):**

i cnt fucking believe ths

 

**MarkLee (20:14):**

yo SAME

 

**snake #1 (20:14):**

we are cheering u on

woo

go u

get those names and dates and idk

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (20:14):**

..

i hate u

 

**MarkLee (20:14):**

^^^

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (20:15):**

i think i busted a lung laughing

thank u so much for this

_(seen by jeNO one fails on my watch and MarkLee)_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg all the kudos PFEAIOJDKEAJ <3  
> i love people <3 <3 <3
> 
> I'm trying to use it more so: [follow me on twitter!!](http://twitter.com/wired_roses)  
> 


	5. Move on or go home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man this is so late ifuejkrl sorryy

**Private Chat: Thursday**

**Lee Jeno, Na Jaemin**

 

_You have just become friends, tap to wave_

 

**Lee Jeno (21:29):**

_Lee Jeno has waved, tap to wave back_

 

**Na Jaemin (21:30):**

omg

_Na Jaemin has waved, tap to wave back_

 

**Lee Jeno (21:30):**

o yes

convo starting at its finest

 

**Na Jaemin (21:30):**

im impressed

v smooth

 

**Lee Jeno (21:30):**

thanks wow a gr8 person

 

**Na Jaemin (21:30):**

except thts my job back off

only 1 flirt allowed in ths school

 

**Lee Jeno (21:30):**

damn u got alot of people to sue then

 

**Na Jaemin (21:31):**

ive been trying for ages 

apparently suing over unofficial titles n jobs is not supported by the law

 

**Lee Jeno (21:31):**

o no

1 like = 1 prayer

 

**Na Jaemin (21:31):**

thnk u the encouragement is appreciated

 

**Lee Jeno (21:32):**

mm almost as much as my company?

 

**Na Jaemin (21:32):**

oh no 

ur support is appreciated

ur company is cherished

pls provide more of both

 

**Lee Jeno (21:32):**

fuehowljk

i cant believe people living today actualy live off lines like taht

 

**Na Jaemin (21:32):**

r u perhaps saying u dont

i cant believe this

my efforts were in vain ?

o mg? 

 

**Lee Jeno (21:33):**

o im sure u have backups

 

**Na Jaemin (21:33):**

;))

 

**Lee Jeno (21:33):**

o boy

dropping ths

i actualy hit u up w a msg to ask if u were going to takayas tmrw?

 

**Na Jaemin (21:33):**

y? cant wait to see me? 

 

**Lee Jeno (21:33):**

ngl somewhat regretting asking

 

**Na Jaemin (21:33):**

nononono

nononononono

always ask

yes im going

r u?

 

**Lee Jeno (21:34):**

i am

 

**Na Jaemin (21:34):**

good

ill c u there

 

**Lee Jeno (21:34):**

cya there

* * *

* * *

_Friday 11:43_

Mark looked sideways at his grade, not really sure why he was expecting it to change. His music professor, Edward, looked at him with mild concern.

"Are you sure this is an A?" Mark asked, brow furrowing slightly as he put his paper down to be able to see the person in front of him. 

"Mark, I hate to ask you this but are you drunk?" Edward asked, definitely concerned.

"What, no, of course not."

"Then why are you struggling to understand that you got an A on your music piece?"

Mark shifted his weight. "Shouldn't I have points deducted, I turned it in nearly a week late."

"Seriously-" Edward cut himself off and sighed. "How many times have I explained to you how irrelevant deadlines really are in music as long as you get it done eventually, preferably in time for the performance. Though, as you know, this rule only applies to you because we're not supposed to have favourites, I just happen to not like listening to ethical rules."

"I know," Mark grinned. "And I'm not complaining, I just wasn't too confident about this piece, really."

"Well, it's definitely an A." Edward laid out his palm to emphasize Mark's stupidity. "You should, however, remember that this is only the written piece and that the final grade will come from the performance at the Winter Showcase."

Mark nodded once. "I remember."

"Speaking of which, I wanted to ask if you would be singing the lyrics to the song you composed this time?"

"Uh," Mark flinched. He never sang his own songs and he knew he wasn't about to start doing so, he was positive Edward knew this as well. The question was a prompt for another question. "No, I won't be."

Edward smiled, confirming Mark's suspicions, before he got out a list of all the student in the class and a notepad already filled with different performances and groups paired with dance teams. "Will you be selecting your partner or will I be doing that?"

Mark laughed ever so slightly nervously, he wasn't uncomfortable around Edward, he just didn't like answering these kinds of questions in general. "I think it would be easier if you did that."

He nodded in response. "I'll let you know your partner by tonight."

"Thank you." Mark was grateful, as usual. 

"See you on Monday, have a good weekend, Mark." He called and waved to Mark as he left. Edward was by far, Mark's favourite teacher for a number of reasons, one of them being he was very understanding of how a teenager preferred to spend their time even if they were undergoing higher education. He was also amazing at selecting partners to perform Mark's songs, their voices always matched what Mark would envision so he had full faith that his professor would succeed this time as well. 

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear the loud tapping of footsteps echoing down the hallway before those steps were far too close to move out of the way in time. The collision knocked the wind out of his chest. He heard the other person cough once as though they had been on the receiving end of the same impact. Which of course, made sense considering they were both apart of the crash.

"I'm really so-" Mark began but cut himself off when he looked up only to meet dark, dark brown eyes that he knew well enough. "Oh wait, it's you."

Haechan rubbed his cheek, which Mark assumed was the part that had hit him. "Nice to see you too, thanks for completing your apology."

"Sorry," Mark felt a rush of guilt fall over him.  _Wait don't feel guilty, he ran into you_. "What are you doing, though?"

"I needed to ask something about the showcase." Haechan nodded towards Edward's door. 

Mark raised his eyebrows. "Oh, did you compose?"

"What? Oh, no, no," Haechan responded and Mark felt his expression change into one of bewilderment. "Usually I do... but I had a tight schedule, so I'm just singing this time." Mark made an 'ah' shape with his mouth.

"You should sing at the party, if you're going." Mark didn't quite pick up on the hopefulness that had somehow incorporated itself into his tone. 

Haechan clicked his tongue. "I am, indeed, going. But, not singing"

Mark swallowed, not really sure what to respond with. "Great, so am I. Going, I mean."

"Nice."

Mark opened his mouth to respond when his phone went off, loudly. Haechan's eyebrows raised. Mark frowned as he looked at his screen.  _Dana_ _, oh... dammit._ He looked back up to Haechan. "I really... have to take this..."

Haechan's expression changed to neutrality for a moment before he gave a weak smile. "See you around, Mark Lee." He didn't wait for Mark- who had put the phone up to his ear- to respond, he simply walked around him and into Edward's office. Mark watched him walk off for a moment, then turned his attention to the phone call, which he found he couldn't quite focus on. 

* * *

* * *

  _Friday 20:39_

"Okay, what about this?" Lucas held up a black bomber jacket and a bright orange shirt. Jungwoo, honestly, had no idea where he got that shirt from, it just appeared on his friend every once in a while when Jungwoo wasn't there to control his friend's off trend fashion sense. It wasn't that he didn't let Lucas wear what he wanted, in fact, he always loved seeing Lucas express himself through his style, the reality was Lucas asked that Jungwoo control his somewhat distinct fashion sense when going to parties or dates. Jungwoo didn't speak a moment, so Lucas shook the clothing softly. 

"Wait, you were serious?" Jungwoo lifted his hand to his bottom lip. 

"Alright, so, no." Lucas threw the fifth ensemble on his bed and put his hands on his hips. He stayed like that for a moment before he turned to Jungwoo, and gestured vaguely to his clothing drawer in frustration. Jungwoo laughed softly and got up from where he was sitting.

"The jacket was good," Jungwoo picked it up off Lucas's and tossed it on his own bed. "Just... not with that shirt  _tonight_." He accentuated the word to make sure Lucas remembered that he was fully supportive of his personal style.

Jungwoo ruffled through his clothing drawer before pulling out two shirts, one dark blue with small black stars dotting the bottom and one plain dark red. "Hold both of these up." Jungwoo instructed as he moved to the other side of the room to see better. " _Alternating_ between the two." He added when he saw Lucas move to hold them up simultaneously. 

Jungwoo debated for a few moments. "I think the blue one is better-" A loud knock on the door quieted him and the door opened with a bang as it hit the wall. Neither flinched, knowing who it was.

"Hello? Are you guys not ready yet? What the fuck?" Kun's questions-but-not-really poured out as he crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently in the doorway. "Can we get a move on." Another fake question.

"We're almost done, Kun." Jungwoo said calmly.

"What the- Oh my god, I'm leaving without you." Kun sighed and turned to Lucas. "Jackie's already there, apparently." Jungwoo stiffened,  _oh damn-_

"Okay but it's a friends night." Lucas responded and Jungwoo smiled. 

"You know what, what sounds great, Lucas!" Kun clapped his hands together once, left them in that state, and pointed them forward. "It would be even greater if you could get your shit together and put on clothes you can leave the privacy of your dorm with, thanks."

Jungwoo was about to reply when a "CAN WE LEAVE" Sounded from behind Kun, in the hallway. Kun jerked his thumb in that direction to show he agreed with what Yuta was yelling. Lucas started arguing with them that they were almost done while Jungwoo just laughed. But his heart sunk a bit. 

* * *

* * *

**guys I made this groupchat for work not for actual groupchatting**

8 members 

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (21:29):**

what the fuck guys dd we not say 9;00 its 9:30

 

**renjwen (21:29):**

actually its 9:29

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (21:29):**

are you kidding me

how do i kick someone without being admin

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (21:30):**

u j cant

 

**johnny (21:30):**

im suddenly happy i decided not to make anyone else admin

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (21:30):**

wtf

this is

discrimination

bigotry

favouritism

hatred

inequity

injustice

intolerence

prejudice

unfairness

racism

 

**johnny (21:30):**

?? we're both korean

 

**renjwen (21:30):**

if you look closely you can see that those words are all the results when you search "discrimination" on thesaurus.com in alphabetical order

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (21:31):**

uh oh jaehyun

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (21:31):**

CAN YOUALL JUST ARRI VE

 

**johnny (21:31):**

im almost done getting ready

 

**renjwen (21:31):**

jisung chenle and ill be there like soonish

 

**TEN (21:31):**

im omw

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (21:31):**

havent started getting ready lmao

 

**failing chem and wont shut up about it (21:32):**

k so thank you all

except jeno

fuck you jeno

 

**jeNO one fails on my watch (21:32):**

fun

_(seen by everyone)_

* * *

* * *

_Friday 21:32_

Jaehyun let out a sigh as a click sounded from his phone, signaling its locking.  _I need friends with better timing_. He thought, grumpy that they abandoned him to stand in the cold on his own. Technically, he could go in if he pleased which would end his potentially hypothermic suffering, however, staying alive was not something he was prepared to sell his social status for. He was just about to aggressively message them again when someone said his name.

"Jaehyun?" It was more a question, really, and Jaehyun put his phone away once again. He looked up to see Doyoung walking in his direction. "Oh it's actually you, standing in the cold... for some reason."

Jaehyun let out a sigh. "Oh bless, someone I can walk in with." He leaned forward to grab Doyoung's arm when he came close enough and dragged him across the pavement. "Come."

"Wait what-" Doyoung didn't manage to complete his thought as he tripped over a beer cup and stumbled. This didn't stop Jaehyun who was determined to get into the warmth of a jam packed party.

"Walking into parties alone is the saddest thing in the world, trust me."

"It's not, but okay." Doyoung voiced as they entered the house. The place was huge, Takaya's parents owned it and let him do what he wanted, so it was always the best place for hosting large gatherings of intoxicated young adults. Jaehyun basked in the heat as he entered and slipped of his coat, dumping it on a pile with a bunch of others. The likelihood that anyone was leaving with their own coat was slim, but it didn't matter as long as there weren't any valuables in them. Dance music beat out of the wall to ceiling stereo systems and vibrated the prime wood floors. The place was already filled to the brim, hundreds of students dancing and drinking, the occasional not so rare hooking up as well. It was chaos, but that's what made the best parties.

"Jaehyun. Well would you look at that, someone I know beyond seeing them show up to my house." Takaya clapped Jaehyun on the back who returned it once he found his balance. 

"Of course, the place is beyond recognition already." Jaehyun grinned and Takaya laughed.

"Enjoy yourself, though you don't need my invitation to do that. As usual, steer clear of the far room if you're single and don't want to see randos all over one another." Takaya wiggled his eyebrows before he was dragged off by someone else. "Is Jeno comi-" Takaya was out of earshot, Jaehyun decided to call out "Yes" but he wasn't sure if he'd heard him. 

Jaehyun reached behind him and pulled Doyoung- man, was he lucky he managed to grab Doyoung- forward to stand beside him. Doyoung beheld an expression of confusion bordering on disgust. "What do we do?" He asked Jaehyun.

"I, for one, am getting a drink. Parties with hundreds of people aren't fun unless you're wasted." Jaehyun responded and began moving in the direction he knew the alcohol was in. It was full, but not to the extent that one needed to shove their way through like a dense bushland. It just showed how big the venue truly was. 

Despite the music, he could hear Doyoung sigh, loudly. "Seriously, again? Out of the five times we've met up you've been drunk for three of them, that's over half. And we even met up midday."

"Yes, this is how you live life."

"No, this is how you die young."

"Hot and young."

"Corpses aren't hot after they're no longer young."

"Oh my god," Jaehyun groaned as they reached the large counter where hundreds of bottles of different kinds of alcohol were laid out, not in any particularly proper order as the night tore on. "If you're worried then just watch out for me." He reached out randomly and poured whatever he had grabbed into a cup. 

"I'm not worried, I'm stating facts." 

"You're worried." Jaehyun winked and Doyoung frowned.

"I'm not, don't blame me if you get completely trashed and fuck up your life." Doyoung supplied watching the cup as Jaehyun downed what he had identified as Vodka, in one go. Jaehyun kept staring at Doyoung, even as he filled another cup. The beat filled the air with vibrations as the music was turned up.

"You're worried." Jaehyun said, louder as he downed another cup, Doyoung shook his head. He filled it up again, with something different, beer he thought, and moved around Doyoung.

As he did so, he heard Doyoung speak, just above a whisper, something that could only be heard if one was at the proximity that Jaehyun was at, it made him smile. "Just don't die."

* * *

* * *

_Friday 21:47_

Taeyong noted that Renjun had managed to stumble into the house quite delicately considering Jisung had all but used his full strength when he shoved him. 

"What the fuck?!" Renjun yelled, nevertheless.

"We're late." Jisung simply replied. 

"Shoving me in doesn't make us un-late, it just makes me unbalanced." Renjun insisted, staring Jisung dead in the eye, the latter chose to ignore this. They were, essentially, all blocking the entrance which left Taeyong and Johnny in the cold. 

Johnny, likely sick of the cold, decided to step in. "Guys stop, this is dumb, we get it: you're mad at Renjun for exposing you, get over it. You see Chenle holding a grudge? No? 'Cause he isn't."

"I'm not holding a grudge, I'm here to drink." Jisung said, turning to face Johnny instead. Though, still blocking the entrance. Taeyong rubbed his hands to keep warm. 

"Uh, I think the fuck not, you're like fourteen years old?" Johnny put his hands on his hips.

"Uh, and I think you should drop math?" Jisung retaliated.

Johnny turned around. "Okay I don't feel like going to this party anymore, my math choice is being judged-"

Taeyong took one step back, gathered his strength, and shoved the entirety of the group inside by pushing Johnny and causing a domino effect. "We're staying." He announced once they- mostly he- were safely in the warmth. He felt the frost melt off his fingers and give way to actual mobility of his limbs. His enjoyment of the sensation was cut short by him noticing the weird look Johnny gave him. He seemed as though he was about to question why Taeyong wanted to stay so badly but someone cut off the weird moment. 

"Oh yes, some people I know." Ten said, sounding relieved, and Taeyong's eyebrows snapped up, despite his promise to himself he wouldn't be like this in front of Ten. "Thank god, I thought I would wander around alone."

"Literally said I was on my way like four times and you just left me on seen." Johnny deadpanned which Ten gave a thumbs up to. "But I'm not here to talk first, I'm here to drink first."

"Wow, me too-" Jisung began but Taeyong hit him.

"No, not you, you are banned for tonight."

"Wait what the fuck? Why?"

"There always needs to be a responsible sober friend, which will be you."

Jisung gestured directly towards Chenle. "He's always sober?"

"But is he responsible." Taeyong raised his eyebrows in question. Chenle shook his head and Jisung face palmed. 

"Dammit." Jisung whispered to himself.

Taeyong spun back around to the other friends. "Okay, let's get wasted."

Ten smiled widely. "Oh I second that."

* * *

Just over half an hour- Taeyong assumed so, anyways- had passed since they had arrived and the alcohol had been given a lovely amount of time to build up in their systems. Johnny, of course, had the best tolerance- other than Jaehyun who they had yet to run into- and was doing fine despite draining cup after cup. Taeyong, on the other hand, had the absolute worst tolerance, which is why he was careful to even finish two knowing he would likely end up revealing his secrets in front of the one person he couldn't. 

"But how is dancing an art, isn't it more of a sport?" Johnny mumbled, head turning when he heard a loud crash, only to whip back when Taeyong and Ten gasped unanimously, startling Johnny. 

"How dare you." Taeyong replied, pointing an accusatory finger.

"Dance is the ultimate art! It is the only realistic expression of emotion!" Ten hollered, voice carrying over the loud music. Taeyong nodded vigorously.

Johnny was not convinced. "I feel like writing is the best for that." 

"I can't believe this," Ten whipped around fast to Taeyong, surprising him, his fuzzy mind not processing properly that he was essentially eye to eye with his crush. "Taeyong,"  _Oh_ "What emotion do you feel right now?"

 _Love._ "Happy." 

"Great, so do I, mixed with irritation." Before Taeyong could even react, Ten reached forward and grabbed Taeyong's wrist, pulling him towards the official dance floor reserved for the actual dance contests. Taeyong felt his stomach drop when he saw the dozens of people surrounding the dance floor watching a breakdancing competition come to an end. 

"Who's next, will it be you?!" The MC yelled through the mic, hyping up the audience gathered there. Ten hadn't stopped tugging him and they were starting to get really close to the stage without stopping, Taeyong panicked just slightly more, though the drinks lowered his sense of reason.

Two guys with their girlfriends or random hookups seemed to be getting on stage but Ten got there first and shoved them out of the way. Taeyong's mouth gaped, realizing they were both on stage, together, and Ten had essentially physically removed others. 

"I guess it's you two!" The MC, who Taeyong recognized as a student DJ everyone hired, leaned forward. "What song?"

"Just, anything contemporary dance." Ten replied and the guy nodded.

Taeyong's eyebrows raised when the music started, realizing that they were in fact, about to dance together. He wasn't sure what to do with this information, whether he should be starting them off or let Ten do that. If he was supposed to be dancing on his own, or try to synchronize. He wasn't even sure if they could synch. 

Ten seemed to notice his hesitation. "Don't worry." He said, leaning in close to Taeyong who felt as though he could no longer properly breathe.

And so Ten began to dance, slowly at first, adjusting to the music. It didn't help Taeyong's breathing failure, but he shifted his weight one side to another. So Ten moved forward and grabbed his arms, "You're an amazing dancer," He whispered, close enough that Taeyong could hear him, close enough that his breath bounced off his skin like a lure, his heart picked up several hundred billion thousand beats. "So just dance with me." And it returned to normal. Not because he had suddenly lost his crush, rather, it had tripled in intensity but Ten had begun to dance properly.

So Taeyong matched him. Perfectly. Undoubtedly. They were a unified chorus that sang to the song that lit the embers of the earth. Every move and step was beautiful, and Taeyong wasn't sure he was doing it to his partner's extent but Ten's smile suggested a million other things. 

Music flooded in and out of their dance, and if one looked close enough, they could probably see the bars and notes tying them together. 

The audience cheered.

Ten's smile grew.

Taeyong's heart melted.

* * *

* * *

_Friday 22:22_

Lucas had snorted beer straight out of his nose, Sicheng had tripped Yuta when he tried to kiss his cheek and Taeil had dodged the falling Yuta by hitting a lamp and knocking it to the ground in a loud crash. People nearby cheered while Kun did the world's loudest face palm. Jungwoo was still trying to get them to move away from the broken glass so he could at least clear it up. 

"It's been  _six_  minutes, guys, this has to be a new record." Kun threw his hands into the air which impressed Jungwoo because it was right on time with the beat of the song that was playing.

"This is because you won't accept my love." Yuta looked towards Sicheng angrily but everyone knew there was no malice behind his words nor his expression. Jungwoo shoved Yuta softly and began moving the glass into a corner with a napkin to avoid any further injury.

Sicheng could only sigh as he helped Yuta up. Jungwoo provided Lucas with another napkin to assist his spillage problem. It wasn't enough. Especially with the bonus of Yuta losing his balance on his way up and knocking into Sicheng's drink and spilling it on Kun. Kun, in turn, threw his drink at Yuta who was now in an aggressive stance.

"This is the biggest mess I've seen caused in the span of several seconds." Jungwoo murmured. "I'm getting more napkins, please don't kill each other while I'm gone." He voiced, though he doubted anyone heard him. Lucas was now apparently unsuccessfully attempting to pry Yuta from clinging to Kun like a koala and making him lose balance, Sicheng, on the other hand, was clearly satisfied with his contribution in helping Yuta up and sipped on what was left of his beverage.

Jungwoo slid through the crowd of people that had their own fair share of mishaps, which was reassuring, but didn't help his current predicament. He was aware of the general direction of the bathrooms but he needed to ask someone to be sure. As he was finished getting it explained he looked up in the direction of the far room where he was being told, could be a shortcut. And for a moment, he thought it was a normal sight, couples upon couples- both figuratively and literally- but then he saw it.

And this entire day had led up to this moment. He was glad Lucas wasn't with him, but at the same time, he felt like Lucas should've been. There she was again, Jackie, with a male holding her waist and his hands all over her. Jungwoo thanked the person he was talking to and made his way toward the far room. 

He ran through and into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He replayed the last few seconds in his mind: did she see him? No, he didn't think so. Did he really see her? He was quite positive. He slowed his panting as he leaned against the door, collecting his thoughts and what he should do next. There was no way in hell he was going into the far room again. After splashing water on his face, grabbing a few napkins, and opening the door to a couple of angry girls who clearly needed to use the washroom, Jungwoo made his way through the densest part of the mansion.

It proved to be more of a struggle than originally anticipated and Jungwoo was severely delayed by the huddles of two different football teams. Eventually, however, he made it to where his friends were still gathered. They were still wet- somehow even _more_ soaked than before- so Jungwoo handed over the napkins to the three of them. He noticed that there was one person missing.

"Where's Lucas?" He asked.

Sicheng shrugged and Yuta replied. "I think he went to fill our cups but I'm not sure."

"Understandable." Jungwoo regarded the empty cups and drenched shirts. "I'm going to go help him, that's a lot of cups."

There were a bunch of incoherent replies which Jungwoo decided not to try to decipher. He turned and worked his way through another crowd - less dense, but still a crowd. The top of Lucas's head appeared in Jungwoo's peripheral so he changed direction. The people thickened and thinned, until Jungwoo could clearly see Lucas-

And his girlfriend leaning on him. Laughing. And he was laughing too. Jungwoo blinked a few times, sure that this wasn't happening. But in the end, it was happening and there was nothing wrong about this but the queasiness that Jungwoo felt.

"Jungwoo!" Lucas called, waving him over, a huge smile on his face as he slung his arm around Jackie. The stranger no where in sight. 

Jungwoo returned the smile and walked over, Jackie hugged him as she always did, she smelled as she always did like lavenders. Just a tinge of beer. Jungwoo returned the hug, because they were good friends.

But he couldn't be sure he wasn't losing his mind.

* * *

* * *

 

_Friday 22:28_

"Wow we're late." Mark shrugged off his coat as they entered through the heavy oak doors of the house.

Jeno sighed. "No one cares it's a party not a class." Mark gave him a look that Jeno interpreted as 'thanks, you're very helpful' which he decided to take positively. Jeno quirked an eyebrow at Mark and proceeded to optically search the place, left to right, scanning the back and the front for a minute before Mark hit his shoulder.

"Uh, the drinks are that way?" Mark pointed out the area that Jeno was overly familiar with.

"Oh, yeah." Jeno feigned forgetting and led the way towards the bar counter. He grabbed something at random and squinted at the label.  _Dammit_ _, tequila_. He thought but chugged it out of the bottle anyways. Placing it back, he turned and noticed Mark staring at him with a peculiar expression. Jeno wiped at his mouth to clear up stray drops of liquid and glanced around the venue, searching. "Shouldn't you be off with Dana in the far room or something?"

Mark's expression twisted into one of guilt laced with... irritation? "She isn't going."

Jeno veered to take a look at the phone Mark just locked, as the screen faded to black he saw (5) missed calls. "The fuck? Are you guys fighting?"

Mark shoved his phone in his pocket. "No, I just don't feel like taking the calls." Jeno looked at him knowingly, which Mark sighed to. "She didn't want to come, so she didn't want me to come, but I wanted to go, so she's pissed."

"Which brings me back to my original suggestion of dumping her-"

Mark raised his eyebrows, not in surprise but like he was completely done with Jeno suggesting this constantly. Jeno chuckled as he did another scan of the place. "Haha, nice try."

"I guess it's just us tonight."

"I guess so- nope, never mind, Renjun and his snakes have arrived." Mark said but waved them over. They slipped by a couple guys who weren't quite in their right mind anymore and reached the two at the bar. 

"Hello, how is the processing? Done?" Renjun provided them with a smile, though it wasn't necessarily one of good intent. Jeno knew he was referring to the processing of the information he had dumped on them in the groupchat the other day. 

"Shut up." Mark and Jeno said at once. Jeno sipped from another beverage he had.

The three of them just laughed. "If it makes you feel better, Jisung's been banned from drinking." Renjun regarded Jisung who immediately ceased his laughing. 

"Oh good, he's fourteen." Jeno said.

"What the fuck?" Jisung replied and Chenle laughed even harder. 

Out of the corner of his eye Jeno noticed Mark's attention had gone somewhere else and he turned to ask him but said person spoke instead. "Oh, wait I'll be right back." He walked off and the remaining four watched him, three of them losing interest quickly but Jeno stretched in an attempt to follow him for longer. Unfortunately, he lost him almost instantly.

"I hope you guys aren't mad!" Chenle finally spoke, sounding cute, and Jeno turned back to his other friends. 

Jisung hit his arm and Chenle stared at him blankly. "Oh my god, we discussed being angry that they blamed us-" 

Chenle cut his best friend off. "Jisung, this is dumb, none of us are mad, we're just pretending, let's stop." Jisung immediately shut his mouth and Renjun cackled.

"Yikes." Renjun said though his attention moved to Jeno, who was downing another bottle of something he had subconsciously grabbed. "Speaking of 'yikes', Jeno, we've been talking for like a minute and you're chugging your fourth drink. I'm actually concerned for your liver."

Jisung laughed loudly at this followed by Chenle, Jeno was glad they were all on good terms, not that they were actually ever mad at one another.  "Luckily for me, I'm not." Jeno said. He did, however, put the bottle down. "But I am concerned about my bladder, which is why, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to use the bathroom before it becomes a real problem."

Renjun waved him off before turning around to hit both the younger ones. Jeno heard a chorus of "Ow's" and "Fuck off's" and he laughed to himself as he maneuvered through the thick crowd. He was very familiar with Takaya's house, the older always let him come to even the paid exclusive parties without actually needing to pay.  _Perks of being a senior's favourite_. 

The bathroom was near the back, but there was always an unusual amount of people gathered between the main foyer and that restroom, so it was far quicker to take the back access from the far room. The amount of people was beginning to get quite stiffening where he was, luckily for him, the far room was somewhere everyone who didn't have a partner steered clear from in order to avoid the depression that usually settled in when seeing couples covering one another. He entered the far room without much problem other than someone spilling his drink, which the bathroom would also be useful for. Yet, however many physical injuries he avoided, emotional ones were not necessarily blocked by the lack of interaction with people.

Because Jeno entered the far room, known for its couples, and had the immediate pleasure- or rather, displeasure- of recognizing someone he knew. Someone he wanted to know better, but didn't get the chance to. And he wasn't surprised at all. But his heart still tore itself straight through his chest when he saw Jaemin's hands up the shirt of a girl, not even Sara, and their mouths together without a space to breathe.

The alcohol had kicked in. Hard. The clarity of sobriety leaving him for the obscurity of being drunk. 

He stumbled back, stepping on someone's foot and the girl shrieked in response. He mumbled an apology and quickly left the room, not realizing the shriek had caught the attention of several people around, including that of the person triggering his escape, who watched him leave with a hollow look in his eyes.

* * *

* * *

_Friday 22:35_

"Hey." Mark stopped the moment he reached the person sitting on the armrest of a couch, scrolling through what Mark assumed was social media his phone. 

Haechan looked up. "Oh my god, could it be? A time we meet where you didn't run into me?" 

"Uh, you're the one always running into me." Mark squinted his eyes and gestured at him. Haechan smiled, it was too sweet to be genuine.

"Um, I can't help it if you're standing there like a paralyzed giraffe all the time." He nodded his head at Mark's current frozen stance. Mark immediately dropped his hands pretending to loosen up by swinging them, mildly awkwardly. 

"A paralyzed giraffe?"

Haechan shrugged. "It's important to make accurate comparisons when establishing a relationship."

"Oh wow, a relationship." Mark drew out the words and without really thinking his statements through, he added: "And what kind of relationship is this?"

"Obviously it's me versus you, and I'm winning." Haechan immidietely said which made Mark laugh. He noticed Haechan smiling, an authentic smile, in response to his laugh but decided not to dwell on it.

"I feel like I should be winning considering the clothes you're wearing aren't even party appropriate." Mark gestured at Haechan's hoodie based ensemble for tonight. It was the same one that he always wore, white with little cat ears sticking out the top. 

Haechan looked down at himself sitting cross legged on the arm rest. "This is iconic, I'm staying loyal to my style."

"You always wear this."

"My point exactly." Haechan winked at Mark who felt a shiver go up his spine. "I'm wearing party appropriate clothing on underneath, I'll have you know."

Mark grinned. "Maybe you should've skipped the hoodie then."  _Wait does that sound too suggestive-_

Haechan didn't seem to notice, or if he did, he decided to pass on the opportunity to fluster Mark even more. Instead, he gasped. "Oh my god, how dare you?" 

"How am I supposed to believe you have actual party appropriate clothing on underneath?" Mark said through his laughter, which was proving to be a bit of a struggle. So yeah, maybe he did like this boy's personality a lot.

He looked up when Haechan's chuckling died down, only to be met with a devilish grin. "Don't you trust me?"

Mark opened his mouth to respond when someone bumped into his shoulder roughly. It wasn't uncommon which is why he wasn't surprised, but something in his mind told him to turn around, which he did, only to see his best friend walking off, fast.

"Uh, I'll be right back." Mark said, turning to Haechan who's face reflected his own confusion. He walked off, faster than even Jeno had been moving. He followed the latter, until he finally caught up to his friend as he was grabbing his coat- the right one, to Mark's surprise.

Reaching out, Mark latched onto Jeno's arm. "You're leaving?"

Jeno spun around. "Yeah, I'm not feeling well." This sounded some alarms off in Mark's head, because  _Jeno never does this._

"I've seen you throw up seven times in a row, clean yourself up, and come back out on the dance floor." Mark deadpanned. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm just not well."

"That's not fine, Jeno, that's the opposite of fine. Literally." 

Jeno shook Mark's hand off, roughly. "Just let me go, Mark, I'm tired." Mark finally looked him in the eyes properly. They were hazed with the notion of too much too drink in too little time, but he knew Jeno well when he was drunk and this was different. He honestly looked completely exhausted, or exasperated. So Mark let go.

"This isn't like you, man." Mark tried once more. He didn't necessarily want Jeno to stay at the party, he just wanted him to talk, explain the real reason he was leaving. 

But Jeno completely disregarded him, instead, he looked behind Mark. "Go back to your friend, Mark." And Jeno turned and left. Leaving Mark standing there wondering what had just happened. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate all the kudos and comments and I try my best to respond and update but it's the end of the year and my life is a tragic series of chaotic events,
> 
> I love you all though, thank you! <3
> 
> I'm trying to use it more so: [follow me on twitter!!](http://twitter.com/wired_roses)  
> 


	6. Was I supposed to fix that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg so I know I haven't updated this week, I actually just got back from a school trip and officially have stable wifi once more !!

_Saturday 13:12_

 

Jaehyun's eyes were glued shut, metaphorically, of course. Or was it literally? Honestly, he couldn't be entirely sure. What he did know was that he was forced to peel them open like a ziplock bag and it wasn't something he considered a riveting activity. The full force of the sun greeted him when he achieved his first act of the day, he opened his mouth and  _felt_ how sour it was without needing to experience its smell. The thickness of last nights bad decisions rested heavily on his tongue. He was gifted the short bliss of a peaceful morning before blood vessels around his head launched a battalion at his nerves. His head pounded. Jaehyun groaned and rolled to sit up in his bed which only worsened the pain especially combined with the drought his throat was currently experiencing. Hangovers were not something Jaehyun received often which is why the extremity of this one confused him thoroughly. A wave of nausea had just washed over him when the door opened, softly but Jaehyun groaned and rubbed his eyes nevertheless as the sudden noise didn't agree with his already pained mind. 

"Oh damn, you're up," Johnny exclaimed as he threw his keys on the small table next to their dorm door. Jaehyun was graced with the sight of Johnny attempting to carry two differently coloured, large drinks and two plastic bags filled to the brim. One of the said drinks was an unsettling brown-green colour, Jaehyun had a terrible feeling he knew exactly what it was.

"Sadly." He responded.

"Wow you drank so much I thought you were dead, lol." Johnny put down the bags on one of their shared counters and began unpacking what he'd purchased, drinks set aside.

"Did you just say 'lol' outloud?" 

Johnny paused. "Maybe." He said as he brought out bananas, ready made scrambled eggs, and plain, unsalted crackers. Yeah, Jaehyun definitely knew where this was going. 

"I'm filing for a roommate change." Jaehyun announced, trying to get to his feet but deciding against it when his head protested. "The second I can get out of bed without a pounding headache."

"Oh yeah!" Johnny snapped his fingers and ceased his struggle to open the plastic box with eggs in favour for grabbing the drinks he'd set aside. He handed the strange coloured one to Jaehyun who took it sadly. "Fear not, for I have brought you a customized hangover cure."

Jaehyun winced as he took a sip, it was disgusting but he knew what it was because Johnny had a tendency for combining numerous random flavours. In this case, tomato, coconut, and cucumber, all three things Jaehyun hated. The mix was even worse. "Thank you, even though it tastes terrible." Jaehyun took another sip and gagged, Johnny just chuckled in response. "I think someone slipped something in my drink, I never get hangovers."

"I was going to say the same thing, actually." Johnny mused as he brought over a plate of bananas, eggs, and crackers.  _This is so classic._ Jaehyun thought as he shoved a fork of eggs in his mouth. The food made no sense but they were all recommended hangover remedies.

"I wonder what it was." Jaehyun thought aloud, and Johnny hummed his agreement to the question as he took a chunk off Jaehyun's banana. "I can't believe I woke up in my bed, though, I guess I'm just as smart when I'm drunk."

Johnny burst out laughing at this, hitting his thigh he wheezed his response. "Oh no you were so completely out of it, Doyoung practically dragged you in." 

This stopped Jaehyun, fork midway up. "Wait Doyoung brought me back?"

"Yeah, I felt so bad for him, too. You were  _not_ making it easy." Johnny gestured at him then made a weird oval shape with his hands in the air. "Like some kind of useless sack of cabbage or something." Jaehyun glared and Johnny snickered. "You should definitely go and thank him, you would definitely be dead."

Jaehyun put the fork in his mouth and murmured: "Yeah, I should."

 

❈✭❈

 

_Saturday 13:41_

Jeno was doing a fantastic job of ignoring Mark. 

The latter had come home in the A.M.'s only to find his roommate deeply asleep - or faking so - and Mark's plans to interrogate him had instantly evaporated, though now that his friend had finally woken up, he felt that it was his job to at least somewhat find out what happened to make him like this. And to figure out why he was now being ignored. 

"Jeno." He said for, perhaps, the fifth time in the last ten minutes. Said person was laying with his back to Mark, covers up to his shoulders, the only reason Mark knew he was awake was because he saw him check his phone. "Seriously, dude, just turn around." Maybe it was the pleading in his tone but Jeno finally turned. Jeno's lips were pulled into a slight frown and there were red splotches dotting his face, Mark couldn't really find a cause. Most of all, he saw the dark rings beneath Jeno's eyes, they stood out more than anything else on his face. Mark wasn't sure whether it was due to lack of sleep or the alcohol he had been  _chugging_ the previous night.

"What?" Jeno raised his eyebrows in question, which shook Mark out of his examination.

He gathered himself. "What was that last night?" He winced slightly, not meaning for it to sound so aggressive. Jeno didn't seem to mind.

"I was drunk, and I was tired." Jeno replied, simple but Mark could see something else behind the words. It hurt a bit, because Jeno was generally very open and they talked a lot.  _Something is definitely wrong._

"But, you still wouldn't have without-"

Jeno cut him off with a wave of his hand as he sat up. And suddenly there was a smile on his face, Mark blinked, confused at the sudden change in position. "Nah, man. I think I was just really drunk, I can barely remember what happened, honestly." He chuckled a bit.

Mark, still shocked, wasn't really sure how to reply. He knew he wasn't telling the truth but how right was it for Mark to call him out for a lie? Even if they were best friends. 

"I'm just concerned." He finally settled on. 

"Don't be." Jeno smiled wider, eyes finally participating. "I'm fine."  _Are you, though?_ He wondered but smiled back, anyways. If Jeno said he was fine - even if Mark knew better - he felt like it was his duty to treat him as fine. It was far, far healthier if Jeno was the one who came to him when he was ready to talk. "Okay?" 

"Okay." Mark gave in and Jeno nodded, which told Mark he gave the right answer. There was an awkward silence that stretched, he wasn't sure how to fill it until the 'ping' of his phone did it for him. He grabbed his phone and swiped to open the email he'd received.

"You have got to be the only person that has notifications for emails  _on_." Jeno groaned and Mark smiled widely, this was a far more comfortable dynamic. 

So he shrugged, just to keep it alive. "We're in university." Jeno laughed softly as Mark began reading. "Oh it's from Edward."

"Wasn't he supposed to email you yesterday?" Jeno inquired, and Mark nodded.

_Hi Mark,_

_Sorry I didn't email you last night, I had to change your partner last minute and therefore, change everyone's partner last minute._

_After receiving the demo I was going to pair you with Lizzie but listening to another student's practice record which I also only received yesterday, I have decided to pair you with your good friend Haechan :)_

_Let me know if you have any concerns,_

_Edward_

"Are you kidding me?" Mark gawked once he'd finished reading the email to Jeno outloud. The latter was laughing to the point where he was clutching the side of his stomach. "I can't believe he convinced Edward not to give me his real name, and  _I'm_ his favourite!" 

This made Jeno laugh even harder and despite the situation he was laughing at, Mark couldn't help but grin widely. Because Jeno looked as he always did, eye smile and all, and it was such a relief to witness. He let his heart be lifted with a rope through the happiness of his best friend.

"I hope you're still on that whole finding-name thing because clearly I'm not getting it on my own." Mark laughed along with Jeno not really noticing when his friend's laughter died down and he smiled at him. 

But the smile was lopsided and all.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Saturday 13:45_

Taeyong watched with both amusement and exhaustion as Yuta skilfully kicked a pebble right in the middle of Kun's back. Kun responded, as expected, by spinning around and glaring at the wrong-doer, who didn't seem very sorry. Rather, he smiled widely. 

"Excuse you-" Kun began but Yuta waved him off, stepped to his side and patted him on the back, instead.

"I already know what you're going to say." He replied with and Taeyong saw Kun's mouth twitch, wanting to smile but choosing to keep the façade for as long as he could. 

The four of them were walking toward the main west building. Kun liked the atmosphere of the stone and pebble pathway that went right through the main courtyard, so the four of them always took it. Outlined with trees and small bushes, and in winter, covered in snow and crystals of ice that shone in the day's sun, it was definitely the best road to take when one was feeling stressed. Which, when in university, was a never ending occurrence. Taeyong noticed Sicheng looked particularly tense, luckily, Taeyong grabbed his arm before he bolted. Sicheng had a tendency to be completely, formally, done with his friends.

Sicheng sighed as he was caught. "Dang." Taeyong dropped a knowing look to make sure Sicheng was aware trying again would be futile. If he was to suffer, Sicheng would also suffer. 

"No, stay."

Sicheng wriggled his arm as Yuta snickered. "The fuck, go grab your boyfriend's arm." Taeyong froze and Sicheng managed to escape with a triumphant look. Taeyong's mind whirled, trying to find what Sicheng may have meant but coming up with zero answers.

"I don't have a boyfriend." He replied, cursing himself for coming up with the dumbest more unbelievable response, even if it was the truth: if someone said the same thing to him, he wouldn't believe them.

Sicheng gave him a weird look which Kun mirrored from behind. "Uh, Ten?" Sicheng said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Taeyong's heart picked up pace and he felt his eyes triple in size. "He's not... not my boyfriend." He hated the way he flustered.

"Not not your boyfriend? As in he is?" Kun teased and Yuta grinned widely.

"No! As in he's not my boyfriend!" Taeyong hit Yuta's shoulder who responded by glaring at him for having done absolutely nothing. Taeyong wasn't sure what to do with his stance, he shifted his weight, ignoring how his friends stared at him, confused. 

"You guys were dancing like a couple, though." Kun replied after a moment, he had an eyebrow raised in anticipation for the reply.

Taeyong shook his head, fast, it was a quick enough response that Sicheng was taken aback. "We were just dancing, it was a competition and a bet, there's a difference." The other three exchanged looks that suggested they were not quite believing or agreeing, Taeyong's heart beat picked up. Not because it was a lie, but because it was the truth. The truth for one of them, at least. 

"Okay, but," Kun began, again. "The way he was looking at you? Like you guys were a thing."

Taeyong stumbled over his own feet, and Yuta caught Taeyong by his bicep, pulling him upright. He couldn't think in the present, all the flooded his mind were memories of the previous night as he sorted through them.  _Did he ever look at me that way?_   _No, no way._  

"I - uh... no - I - no." He was exactly forming any coherent sentences. 

Kun looked at him like he had just turned into a toaster. "Uh, yeah, he was."

"Everyone saw." Sicheng supplied.

"Literally so obvious." Yuta agreed.

Taeyong didn't know how to respond. What was he supposed to say? 'No'? 'Yes'? 'Maybe'? 'There's not chance in hell someone like him would ever requite his feelings'?

He chose to reply with: "No. No one saw anything, because there was nothing going on." He praised himself for collecting his own thoughts and sounding more confident than he felt.

Yuta snorted. "'Kay, man, even if he doesn't like you, you definitely like him so either way everyone saw something." Yuta rubbed his hands together and as though he hadn't just dropped the biggest bomb of Taeyong's university life experience he added: "Can we stop by Flyers? Let's get something warm to drink." Both Kun and Sicheng nodded, casually.

Taeyong stopped. The other three walked exactly three steps before they turned around to stare at him. Not a single thought came to mind. Nothing. There was a void where billions of entities flourished not seconds before. Because they couldn't possibly know, no way they could know. That was - undoubtedly, undeniably, unquestionably - impossible. 

It felt like hours - though was only seconds - before Taeyong could even reply. "No."

Yuta looked absolutely scandalized. "Dude, it is so fucking cold-"

Taeyong just shook his head, unable to continue or correct. Though he didn't need to, because Kun saw right through his friend and sighed. It wasn't in irritation, it was just out of pity. "Taeyong, it's just obvious, we're not attacking you."

"I-" Taeyong began but Kun continued.

"You think we were going to hate you? What, for liking a guy? It's 2018, man," Kun smiled softly, he walked over to Taeyong and pat him on the back, nudging him forward so they could walk again. Taeyong was shocked, he hadn't even considered his friends being so accepting as an option. How it would feel if he came out.

"But how did you..." Taeyong trailed off. 

"How did we know?" Yuta grinned widely. "I mean, you do just dance at 7pm three times a week so you can dance at the same time as him."

"And the way you practically die every time he shows up." Sicheng put in.

"Also you just look at him like he invented being attractive." Kun shrugged.

"I don't look at him like... that..." Taeyong muttered and all three of them burst into laughter.

"Um, yeah, you do." Kun managed in between breaths. "Come on, we're your friends, we see all." He finalized, dragging Taeyong off. And not for the first time in his life, Taeyong felt a swell of appreciation for his friends and he wondered why he would have been so worried to tell them.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Saturday 13:57_

Donghyuck kept side eyeing Jaemin, he was sure Jaemin had noticed at this point but he couldn't find it in himself to care very much. The second Jaemin had woken up, Donghyuck had suggested they get out of the dorm claiming he needed to purchase snacks. The reality was, Jaemin had woken up looking completely destroyed, almost beyond recognition. There was no doubt in Donghyuck's mind that he hadn't even spent six hours at home, it was likely Jaemin had stumbled home as the sky had begun to turn bright. And this was rare. Which is why Donghyuck knew he needed to get Jaemin out, and in the cold, fresh air. 

After what was likely the twentieth time Donghyuck had side eyed, Jaemin spoke. "Would it be easier if you took a picture?"

"Just surprised you're walking." Donghyuck replied. "Seriously, how are you even standing?"

"I know right? I'm such a god." Jaemin grinned when Donghyuck let out a heavy sigh.

"That is not the point I was making, not even close."

"Was it not?" 

Donghyuck audibly groaned in exasperation and Jaemin let out a small chuckle. "You look so wrecked but you're in such a good mood, was your time with Sara _that_ great?" Donghyuck breathed into his hands to warm them, silently cursing himself for having left his gloves back at the dorm. When Jaemin didn't respond for a few seconds, he looked back up to his friend. Said guy winced at that exact moment, bewildering Donghyuck.

"Uh..." Jaemin sounded and it hit Donghyuck like a bag of bricks.

"I can't believe you - oh my God, Jaemin." He hit his friend several times as he took in the fact that Jaemin had messed with a new girl, again - it was sad to say he was very entertained. 

Jaemin stopped flinching after the sixth knock at his shoulder. "Oops." He didn't sound sorry or regretful about that at all, but there was still something else which Donghyuck couldn't pinpoint... yet.

"Is that why you look sad, did she threaten to murder you?" He decided on a direct approach to dropping a pin.

"It's not like we were ever officially dating." Jaemin said, completely missing the point of the question.  _Oh well, there are other ways of asking_.

"You never do." Donghyuck shrugged, it knocked his coat off and he had to pull it back on with no little amount of haste. The cold hit him, nevertheless, much to his dismay. It did; however, help him come up with the other way of asking. "Maybe you should."

"What?" Jaemin looked horribly bewildered, which Donghyuck took as a prompt to continue.

"Date someone." Donghyuck replied, wiggling his eyebrows. He was dead serious in his proposition and he knew Jaemin was quite aware of that fact, but they didn't function without humour. Sometimes the most somber topic of conversations required a touch of comedy to create an atmosphere where even the best of friends could feel more comfortable.

Jaemin took that whimsy and toyed with it, though he sported an expression of disbelief at Donghyuck's suggestion. "Why? Can't keep up?"

Donghyuck clicked his tongue. "No one can, it's time to retire the fuckboy life, friend." He tugged ruffled Jaemin's hair who pouted in response. Now  _that_ was a look everyone fell for, Donghyuck grinned, his friend was born to be who he was but that didn't mean it wasn't his duty to control him.

"It's who I am." Jaemin responded, straightening out his hair - seemingly unbothered by the cold though he didn't have gloves either.

"No, you're just scared." Donghyuck flashed his devil's grin widely and Jaemin glared at him, but when he saw the smile he chose to glare at the path in front of him instead.

"Scared of what?" He prompted. Donghyuck cheered internally, this conversation was in his hands.

"Of commitment." Jaemin whipped his head to face Donghyuck fully, shock and incredulity laced his features.  _Got you_. He burst into laughter; genuinely and for effect. His friend's expression didn't change but it twitched slightly. Jaemin wasn't mad, he was just surprised. 

Jaemin finally smiled sweetly, the smile that Donghyuck knew he picked up from Donghyuck himself, it was the smile before the sarcasm. "Please feel free to run into an electric fence." He said over his friend's laughter.

Donghyuck's laugh fell into a chuckle. "Is that why you're so out of it? Did someone ask you to commit last night?" He nudged his friend who knocked his arm away.

"Of course not, no one in their right mind would have those expectations of me." Jaemin responded, calmly, unaware that Donghyuck was using this to lead him into answering the next question. Jungwoo had explained some psychological theory behind this - that Donghyuck had forgotten - where people were more inclined to answer the next question if they answered a more subtle question before... or something like that.

"Then why are you so down?" He asked, putting the final piece of the trap into place. The only part that remained was the thing he was trying to catch. Which in this case, was Jaemin's reason for being out of it.

Jaemin shrugged. "It must have been the alcohol." Not the answer he was looking for, he tried again. 

"But you said that it wasn't affecting you, or, to quote you: 'I'm such a god'"

"That uh..." Jaemin trailed off and Donghyuck felt the trap about to close.

"Was it something you saw at the party?"

"I - uh..." Donghyuck leaned forward, ready to catch onto every word Jaemin was about to give him -

When Jaemin's head suddenly snapped up and he squinted his eyes, looking at something ahead. Donghyuck turned to look as well but saw nothing that would make him act like this. Nothing but the blank pillars of the University halls and dozens of students walking around pretending they weren't just as out of it as Jaemin was. It was the moment that Donghyuck knew the trap had closed without the prey inside.

"I gotta go." Jaemin suddenly said and began jogging off. Donghyuck baffled at how his friend was managing not to slip on the sheet of ice that completely covered the ground.  _Dammit_. He would have to try again.

It was as he was walking the rest of the way to the warmth of the library that something popped in his head.  _Oh._  He thought.  _I didn't even consider the possibility of it being a guy_.

 

❈✭❈

 

**Private Chat: Saturday**

**Jung Jaehyun, Lee Taeyong**

 

**JaeJae~~ (14:20):**

hey

favour to ask

 

**TaeTae~~ (14:28):**

oh hi

ya what do you need?

 

**JaeJae~~ (14:29):**

may sound 

super creepy

but

wats doyoungs dorm #

like i dont want t stalk him

i just need it cuz 

 

 

**TaeTae~~ (14:29):**

ok its cassidy hall #14

 

**JaeJae~~ (14:29):**

i need to say thx for bringing me home n

o wtf u gave tht fast

thanks lmao

 

**TaeTae~~ (14:29):**

oh bringing you home?

fun were you wasted

 

**JaeJae~~ (14:30):**

very much

 

**TaeTae~~ (14:30):**

nice hf

 

❈✭❈

 

_Saturday 14:55_

Jaehyun knocked on Cassidy Hall's dorm number 14 twice. And then twice again. He was about to knock twice a third time when the door swung open and he was met with the sight of Doyoung, fully dressed - to his slight dismay. Doyoung blinked, as though he was processing that Jaehyun was just standing there at his door without prior notification. So he gave him a smile, which apparently distracted Doyoung from his thoughts.

"Hey." Jaehyun simply greeted him.  _That's how all conversations start._

"Uh, hi," Doyoung replied, he looked behind Jaehyun in both directions before returning his attention to the person in front of him. Jaehyun noted that Doyoung regarded him with mild bewilderment. "The fuck - how did you get my dorm number?" 

Jaehyun anticipated this question, which is why he was fully prepared to answer, calmly. "I asked Taeyong."

Doyoung gaped. "And he just  _gave it to you_?" Jaehyun nodded once, smiling still. 

"He gave it."

"I suddenly feel unsafe knowing he is handing out my personal information so easily to random people -" Doyoung rambled, glaring at his ground.

Jaehyun intervened. "If it makes you feel better, it was so I could say thank you." He decided he wanted to get to the point, never really being a fan of dancing around important conversations. 

"But did you tell him that before he gave it to you?" Doyoung inquired, Jaehyun heard the skepticism in his voice which he supposed was valid.

He considered lying but what would be the point, it was for more entertaining to tell the truth in these kinds of situations, anyways. "Uh, no. No I told him after."

Doyoung slammed a fist against the door, lightly, playfully. "I can't believe this betrayal." Jaehyun chuckled in response and Doyoung looked up, as though he was seeing him again. "You said you came to say thank you? For what?"

Jaehyun was less prepared for this, thanking people wasn't something he didn't do, it was just something he didn't do with proper, genuine, predetermined intention. And it was Doyoung, and for some reason that made it harder. "Oh, just for, like, taking me home and shit..." Doyoung made an 'ah' sound.

"I've never seen someone stumble onto so many people." Jaehyun smiled but it was more of a wince as Doyoung spoke. "To be fair, it was after I watched you have like 8 shots in less than an hour. I'm also pretty sure that I saw this girl slip something into one of them."

"I fucking knew it." Jaehyun muttered, surprising Doyoung. "Yeah, but thanks for that..." Jaehyun rubbed his arms as a blast of cool air came through the hall. The dorms were indoors but the doors were left open during the day for easier access. They could only do this because the dorm rooms had individual heaters but that still wasn't always enough.

"Oh, do you want to come in? It's cold out." Doyoung stepped aside as Jaehyun gratefully slipped by him and into the dorm. 

"Thanks." The second time he thanked him in one conversation, though it was more comfortable when it was an automatic response. The first thing Jaehyun noticed about Doyoung's dorm was that it was almost spotless, as in the clothes weren't strewn around like they were in his own dorm, and the files and papers were immaculately organized - and colour coded. He saw the extra large folder for Chemistry and immediately felt queasy. The second thing he noticed was that Doyoung had photos on his wall, all of him and his friends, which Jaehyun would not have expected from someone like... well, Doyoung. By the one bed placed in the room Jaehyun safely assumed that Doyoung had this dorm to himself. Cassidy Hall was known for its single dorms, but he was still surprised because those dorms were generally a lot more expensive.

"We can work on Chem." Doyoung suddenly said and Jaehyun whipped around, eyes big. 

"Can we not." Jaehyun was ready to plead, weekends were saved for regretting Friday's decisions and enjoying his only free time. Panic studying only occurred when he had finals coming up - which he didn't - he only had mocks. 

But Doyoung shook his head, already sorting through his giant Chemistry folder and pulling out sheets. "Now that I've confirmed you're alive, we can do Chem."

This piqued Jaehyun's interest. "Now that you've confirmed I'm alive?"

"I wasn't sure you'd wake up breathing, to be honest." Doyoung shrugged like that was a completely normal reoccurring thought to have.

"Neither did Johnny." Jaehyun mumbled.  _Where's the faith-_. His own reflection cut off by Doyoung's laugh, he didn't hear it often so he was suddenly in a much better mood.

"Yeah, I tried making a bet with him but it didn't work because we both bet you'd die." Doyoung admitted, smiling widely and Jaehyun couldn't help but find it cute.  _Yikes, am I whipped - oh my god._

"Wow, I actually need new friends." He chose to reply with, ignoring the tangent his mind had worked its way off into. Thoughts like that were best left for independent contemplation, he'd discovered. On multiple occasions. 

"Oh, friends?" Doyoung quirked a smile. "I hope you're not one of those friends who gives away my home address to random people."

Jaehyun did nothing to stop his laughter. "Dammit, I'll try not to be."

"Well would you look at that, already a more reliable friend than Taeyong."

 _I hope I'll be a more everything._ He thought, but once again, decided not to voice. It wasn't a crush. It was an interest. And to him, there was a drastic difference between the two.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Saturday 14:13_

Mark debated just leaving the library, there wasn't really much he could do about the Creative Writing presentation anymore. It all came down to the distribution of parts, which he and Haechan had decided to do  _together_ on Monday. Mark sighed aloud and pushed his laptop forward so he could rest his chin on the table. It was likely not an entirely attractive position but who would care in a giant common ground where no one really knew each other -

His laptop suddenly shut and Mark only just managed to get his fingers out of the way as the library behind the screen appeared instead. The movement had him sitting upright again and it placed him face to face with a blinding smile. 

"You could've taken my  _fingers_ off!" Mark insisted as Haechan made himself comfortable in one of the spare chairs across from him. He was squatting on the chair, the hoodie he apparently cherished so much was still being worn. 

"Sadly, I didn't. My goal has yet to be achieved." Haechan said as he leaned forward so his elbows could rest on the table and support his head. Mark mimicked the movement shortly after, earning him an amused look from the boy across. 

Mark only sighed and decided to redirect the conversation. "Why are you here? We're meeting Monday and it's Saturday." 

He didn't expect a specific nor serious answer and was sadly unsurprised to find he was correct in his assumptions. "I needed to study and you were sitting all sad and alone."

"Haha, funny." Mark rolled his eyes, marginally, not to a comical extent. 

"You know it's true." Haechan said pointing a finger in Mark's direction.

Mark responded by letting out a huff. "Okay, I get it, I have no friends." Haechan said nothing but just wiggled his eyebrows making Mark laugh, fully. He was too caught up in stopping himself that he failed to notice how Haechan's face softened, again.

All laughter dies down, though, unless it's a curse, and Mark felt it was his job to fill the silence it left. As a generally awkward person, he was proud when he found a question to ask. "So, do you wanna distribute the parts now, then?" That pride didn't last all that long when Haechan waved him off.

"Nope, let's do that Monday." It was Mark's turn to move his eyebrows; not very playfully, just confused, but Haechan wasn't done. "I actually wanted to talk to you about the music piece."

That triggered the memory of the email he'd received just hours before. "Oh yeah! We're performing together, aren't we?" Mark smiled authentically and Haechan looked away hastily. 

"Mhmm," He sounded which didn't seem like a proper answer to Mark but he recalled the conclusion of a habit he'd noticed Haechan had a week ago. "Well, Edward said we needed to work together on the piece, so he told me to point out things I liked and what I didn't like. Based on your demo."

Mark wasn't used to Haechan suddenly talking like he cared about the class he was taking so he was momentarily stunned. He put himself back together quickly, thank god. "Okay," Mark started, pulling out the sheet music from the folder he'd brought. For some reason he felt like Haechan was the type of person who would prefer getting right to the point. "What would you change?"

Haechan smiled, confirming his suspicions and Mark was quite happy about that, though he wasn't sure why. Or maybe his happiness spoke too soon because he definitely wasn't happy with what Haechan said. "The chorus."

It was like a blow to his stomach. "What?"

"The entire chorus." Mark looked at both of Haechan's eyes, before confirming that the latter was, in fact, being genuine in his requests to change. 

"That's... that's like half the song." Mark let the words stumble out. He frowned when he realized how dumb he sounded.

Haechan was sure to take the opportunity this time. "Congratulations, you know your own song."

Mark scrambled for the words to form his next sentence. "But, Edward said this was an A." It was a valid argument, an A was one of the highest grades one could get, and it was extremely difficult to score anything above a B in Music.

Haechan didn't seem to agree. "The highest anyone could get is an A++, why do you think you don't have that?" Mark stopped, not really sure what to say to that, no one ever asks that when one already has one of the top grades. Let alone to Mark, who everyone knew was the Music prodigy. Yet Haechan leaned forward, over the table, and spoke to him like he was a child, slowly and clearly. "It's the chorus, Mark. It's weak."

"I thought you were just singing, not composing." He expected venom to be creeping into his voice but when he actually spoke, he was surprised to find there wasn't a trace of malice. Yet this guy in front of him was tearing apart the work that he had made. Even if Mark did agree that it was weak, shouldn't it be the composer's right to say suggest the change?

Perhaps Haechan was also somewhat shocked at the lack of an aggressive response. He continued normally, like nothing bothered him. "I am, indeed, just singing. Which is why I would like to be able to do so to a song with a powerful chorus. The dancers would prefer it as well." Haechan would lean closer every time he made his point and it was getting to the distance where Mark's heart picked up pace, though he didn't know why he was reacting this way. 

He felt his face change into one of irritation, but it wasn't Haechan he was irritated at, it was himself for not having changed the chorus from the start. He knew well enough that it was weak. 

Haechan, however, had no way of knowing that it wasn't he who Mark was mad at. So he reached to put a hand on Mark's shoulder and his face softened to the extent that even Mark - who was as dense as platinum when it came to expression of different emotions, sometimes - was able to tell. It caught him off guard, because it was a face of a person who cared for the feelings of the one sitting across from him. Which Mark didn't know he did. 

"Look I'm just -" Haechan started, biting his lip as he looked right at Mark. "I'm just saying it can be better."

"Okay, I know. It can definitely be better." Mark admitted aloud. Haechan withdrew his hand and laughed, openly. At to Mark, it sounded quite like chimes in the soft wind of an open field, under the sun. A bright, full, sun.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Saturday 15:30_

Jungwoo paced around the small floor space in his shared dorm with Lucas. His roommate had yet to return from wherever he had gone to after the party. Jungwoo assumed - or rather,  _knew_ \- he went to Jackie's. The thought didn't sit well with him.

Enough time had passed that Jungwoo could debate what he would say to Lucas. Whether he would tell him or not. There were options to be weighed and consequences to be predicted. Jungwoo's mind was a mess of thoughts that he couldn't put in any correct order. As a Psychology major, he aimed to be the type of person or friend that anyone could rely on, because he wanted to be able to understand them. From the age of 7, when he first met Lucas, he wanted to be there for him. They were inseparable because they were loyal, and their friendship lasted because they were honest. 

And that's why this entire situation ate at him. From inside out. It consumed the little bits of secrets Jungwoo left lying around all those years they were best friends and crawled into the depth of his heart. He couldn't help but wonder how terrible of a friend he was being by keeping this a secret. If it even was true. Secrecy meant no risk for Lucas, but it meant Jungwoo would carry around a burden until something or someone came by to lift it. But there was no one to share this with. 

If he kept it a secret, there was no risk now, not unless Lucas caught Jackie which would lead to Jungwoo breaking down because he  _should_ have told him.

If he told Lucas, it would break his heart, of this Jungwoo was sure because he knew his best friend. And he knew heartbreak, even if it was never his own. 

In the end, it depressed Jungwoo to say he didn't know how Lucas would react to any of this. Not because Jungwoo didn't know Lucas, but because he didn't allow himself to think of Lucas feeling anything other than joy and having a fulfilled life. Jungwoo knew he couldn't live with himself if he hurt Lucas, whether it was directly or indirectly. Which is what made the decision making that much more difficult.

The unknown of the human mind is what Jungwoo loved and hated the most.

Perhaps it was that aspect that allowed Jungwoo to make his decision, the unknown was the most interesting part, it was also the part that left the conclusion open with endless possibilities. And the action with the most endless possibilities was telling Lucas. So that's what he decided he would do.

Or maybe not-

He didn't get to rethink it once the door opened, not all that softly, and a visibly exhausted but also cheery Lucas walked in. He had his own coat, which was an immediate relief to Jungwoo because he wasn't sure if he would grab the right one before he left. 

"Oh god, thank god you're up." Lucas sighed as he dropped into his bed, shoes on and everything. Jungwoo moved over to begin taking off his shoes and grab his coat. Ever since they were small, Jungwoo was the one to take off his shoes, Lucas always forgot that they were there. Or maybe the fact that Jungwoo would always remove them had conditioned him into not caring. Jungwoo shook irrelevant thoughts out of his mind. It always seemed to clutter with pointless memories right before a confession.

"I'm up," Jungwoo echoed, softly. "How was your night?"

He didn't need to see Lucas to know he was grinning when he said: "It was great, Jackie and I spent the entire time dancing and we ate at some random 24 hour diner nearby at, like, 4 am."

Jungwoo couldn't help but smile, even if it pained him, because his friend and his girlfriend really were a couple he had rooted for from day one. They were the kind that should have lasted.

But sometimes, things had to change. Even if they shouldn't have.

So Jungwoo took a deep breath. "Lucas?" An 'mmm' sounded from the bed Lucas was lying on, face first into the pillows. Jungwoo's heart picked up pace, and not in a way that was fun, it was just painful. "I actually... I actually really needed to talk to you about something."

Lucas turned his head at this, so he was looking at Jungwoo instead of the back of his eyelids in a pillow. It only worsened Jungwoo's sinking feeling that this was going to go horribly wrong. "Yeah?" Lucas asked, so innocently.

"It's about Jackie." Jungwoo swallowed hard when Lucas's eyebrows raised.

"Yeah...?" He prompted.

"I really hate to tell you this, Lucas." Jungwoo said, surprised at the stability of his voice in the current predicament, he sat down on his own bed, shoulders scrunched forward and head down. "Like... I really, really don't want to tell you this."

That's when Lucas got up to walk over and comfort his struggling best friend. Concern filled his dark eyes when Jungwoo looked up to meet them.  _I can't do this_. Not when Lucas's eyes reflected the innocence of their childhood time spent together and all Lucas's past girlfriends, Jungwoo's past judgements and praises. All their time as a duo and only recently as a trio because Jackie was someone Jungwoo had wholly, genuinely, undoubtedly liked. 

"Jungwoo, just tell me." 

And that was exactly what changed it all, flipped a switch. Because suddenly, there was nothing else. Those experiences changed to the way Jungwoo and Lucas had each other's backs, through the loyalty and honesty and the fun they had. It was always them, together. And a secret could ruin that. 

So Jungwoo took the deepest breath he could manage. And in a voice that was just as unstable as he felt on the inside, he said it.

"I think I saw Jackie making out with a guy at the party." The hand on Jungwoo's shoulder froze, and he didn't dare look up. "And at a party before."

Silence, there was just silence from Lucas's end. The hammering of his heart increased, quadrupled in pace as he became short of breath. He wasn't sure what to do. Whether to continue or let Lucas sit there in silence. Seconds passed, more and more of them. He decided to fill the silence with something, anything.

"I don't know who it was but -"

Jungwoo cut off fast when Lucas spoke. "You said 'I think'" It cut like a knife over Jungwoo's skin. He had said that because he didn't want to lie to Lucas.

"... Yeah." Jungwoo responded, timidly because there was ice in Lucas's voice he just didn't know to whom it was directed at yet.

Jungwoo looked up as Lucas turned, finally they were looking each other in the eye and Jungwoo thought that maybe, just maybe, this would work out and it would all be over, Jackie would be questioned and it would all return to -

"I can't believe you would say that." The knife was no longer over Jungwoo's skin, it was in his veins, cutting into the depths of what he was made of. Honesty consumed by the darkness of sudden mistrust. The mistrust that Jungwoo could  _see_ in the eyes of his best friend.

"Lucas, I just wanted to warn you -" He was cut off again.

"No, I can't believe  _you_ would say that." Jungwoo watched with horror as Lucas jumped off the bed, like he was scared of a snake. "You're trying to determine the entire future of my relationship off of something you  _think_ you saw?"

The knife moved up his arms and right into his eyes, he was blinded. He shut his eyes to avoid the pain as Lucas's voice picked up.

"I can't believe you would do this to me, Jungwoo!" He yelled and the knife wouldn't stop moving, twisting itself into his ears. A ringing began. "Don't you care about me at all? About my feelings? Don't you realize what an assumption can do?" Lucas was borderline shrieking and Jungwoo couldn't move.

There was so much anger, disgust... hatred, in Lucas's voice. And so much pain. Like Jungwoo hat shot him.

The knife moved to his throat, cutting off any chance he had of speaking. The pain was becoming unbearable.

So much pain.

And then came the final blow.

"I thought you were my friend, Jungwoo!" He screamed as the knife reached his heart. "But _you_ just tried to take everything away because _you're_ just selfish!"

And the knife twisted.

" _You_ didn't care what would happen to me!"

And twisted.

" _You_ manipulated my trust in you!"

And twisted.

" _You_ weren't just my best friend who's supposed to have my back!"

And twisted.

" _You're_ supposed to be the one who loves me!"

And twisted.

" _So why don't you?_ "

And split it straight in half.

Jungwoo couldn't hear the door shut over the ringing in his ears.

There was nothing but the pain that threatened to shatter the earth.

And a crevice where the heart he shared no longer beat together.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this actually got 200 kudos like I choked thank you so much I love you all !!
> 
> I'm trying to use it more so: [follow me on twitter!!](http://twitter.com/wired_roses)  
> 


	7. Merge: To combine into a single entity

_Saturday 15:50_

Jungwoo didn't know how long he was on the ground for but a shuddering that had yet to cease wrecked his body. He couldn't stop replaying the words Lucas spoke over and over in his head, unintentionally making it a chant; it was the only thing that could be heard above the unbearable ringing in his head. No physical attribute of his body seemed to work anymore; limbs pulled to the ground by a force with far more energy than he possessed. Which is why he couldn't understand how his hand somehow held his phone. Who should he even dial? Would anyone care? Would they not take Lucas's side? Jungwoo was undoubtedly in the wrong, he was so unbelievably wrong, his friends would know that. They would see that.

Yet his fingers still pressed Taeil's contact. 

He held it to his ear, his entire body shaking and there was something warm on his face that dropped heavily of his chin. But there was such a numbness in his head, there was nothing tangible he could grasp.

The phone rang once. Twice. Three times. Four times. 

Laughter sounded from the background of the call though Jungwoo couldn't pinpoint whose, he couldn't seem to pinpoint anything right now, anyways. He let it go for a few seconds, Taeil's chimed clear with them. "Hey," Chuckling and faux shushing. "What's up?"

Jungwoo couldn't speak, his mouth simply didn't open. So he sat there, listening to the laughter of his friend, and the fading screeches of his internal noise. As is custom when one is on the ground and shaking at an unstoppable force, he couldn't bring himself to move, for fear of what might happen. He would break.

"Hey, you there?" Taeil still held a light tone but something was beneath it. 

That something broke whatever had its hold on Jungwoo. "T... Taeil?" He was shaking too much to wince at how broken he sounded. 

"Jungwoo?" Taeil suddenly sounded serious - it pained Jungwoo to think that he had stopped something joyous his friends had been doing. But he had needed someone. "Jungwoo?" He repeated.

Jungwoo paused, debating if he should even ask, not wanting to be more of a burden than he already was. Desperation pushed him forward. His thoughts jumbled and mixed and blended. So, with all the loudness of a mouse's dying squeak, Jungwoo spoke. "Can... can you please... can you please pick me up?" His throat was thick with the prospect of crying.

"What? From where?" Taeil shushed someone in the back and the noise vanished completely. Then, with more conviction: "Jungwoo, what's wrong?"

Jungwoo bit his lip, the first movement other than actual speaking that he could process. "My dorm." He didn't even praise himself for not stuttering as he normally would've done. "We... I - I... Lucas and I had a fight and I don't... I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to... uh." Jungwoo choked, he felt like he needed to throw up but nothing came up. 

"Don't move, Jungwoo, I'm coming." Taeil said, calmly, but with so much strength Jungwoo felt like he could've crumbled into the safety of his voice.

And then Jungwoo was alone again. With nothing but an agony in his chest that threatened to burst out and leave him without life. He didn't seem to deserve life right now anyways. They never fought, never argued, and Jungwoo always relied on Lucas even if it seemed it was only one way. No relationship ever worked one way. Jungwoo couldn't figure out how long he was there. Without moving, without crying, without speaking, without anything. 

Until he felt arms close around him, holding him together tightly. Until a soothing voice told him everything would be alright. Until he let the first tears be free from his eyes. Until a hundred more followed the first. Until Jungwoo sobbed wholeheartedly into Taeil's shoulder. 

 

❈✭❈

 

_Monday 14:02_

Jeno was happy, he really was. Or rather, the incident that had trapped him in his room the entire weekend felt less and less like it was the chains of his misery. He applauded himself for even getting out of bed for Monday, but the reality was that there was nothing to be sad about. He saw something at a party, and that would remain at the party. 

Because it was nothing but a small, meaningless, absurd...  _crush?_ Jeno shook his head at the word. It wasn't... inaccurate, but that didn't make it accurate either. It was more of a charm. Though those could be just as dangerous, even if the term wasn't as widely used - or used at all. But that was all in the past, the momentary weakness Jeno had felt for Jaemin was over, gone, disappeared, poof. The past was the past. That's why the pain had dulled to a subtle throb rather than the close-to-home heartache he had experienced over the weekend. 

_Yeah, I can live life, no problem._

"Why is a banana a fruit when it has no seeds." Renjun said, squinting at the definite fruit he was eating. 

Jeno replied quite halfheartedly, but instantly. "Commercially grown bananas are sterile which is why the seeds are reduced to the small, black dots, they are." Renjun raised his eyebrows and whipped out a notebook from his bag to automatically begin writing in it, confusing Jeno greatly. "Why would you want to write that?"

"Random facts are extremely useful," Renjun started as he clicked his pen back into its original position. He looked up with bright, mischievous eyes. "I like to throw some in when talking to Jisung and Chenle."

"What the - why?"

Renjun shrugged. "It makes them think I'm smart."

Jeno hesitated for a moment, considering. "Does it work?"

"Very well." Renjun nodded, vigorously. 

"Holy shit," Jeno whispered, genuinely awed. Impressing Jisung and Chenle was a difficult task. They always seemed a step ahead. "I've got to try that."

"You should," Renjun began and something caught his eye. "Hey, isn't that that Jaemin guy you're obsessed with." He lifted an arm to wave at the guy who was looking in their direction - or rather, in Jeno's direction. The latter snatched Renjun before he could raise it any higher. He linked their hands, trying to ignore the way Jaemin followed the movement from his position against the wall. Dragging a protesting Renjun around the corner proved to be a more difficult task than anticipated, but once they were in the safety of being out of Jaemin's sight, Jeno let out a sigh of relief.

Renjun yanked his hand out of Jeno's, irritated. "What the fuck? Don't do that." 

"I'm not obsessed." Jeno mumbled in response, throwing the other off guard for, perhaps, half a second.

"If you weren't obsessed, you wouldn't have run away." Renjun said, matter-of-factly. Jeno chose not to reply this time, preferring to pick at the non-existent specks of dust on his coat; so Renjun continued. "Why didn't you want me to say hi?"

If Jeno stayed silent any longer, Renjun would probably go over to Jaemin himself and ask what was going on. This was something Jeno was strongly against. Unfortunately, his quick-thinking skills failed him right then and there. "I... uh - didn't want to scare him." 

Renjun gave him the most incredulous look. "What the fuck?"

 _Shit_ , Jeno thought,  _Gotta roll with it._ "Yeah you're super scary." Internally, Jeno was yelling at himself for not having come up with a better excuse. He decided he would be doing some Improv class googling when he got back to the dorm. 

"What the fuck?!" Renjun borderline yelled and punched Jeno in the arm as the latter peered around the corner. He sighed in relief when he spotted an empty hallway, most afternoon classes begun around now.  _Speaking of which -_

"I have class." He said without looking back at Renjun, and running off before he could reply.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Monday 14:05_

Jaemin watched with wide eyes as Jeno ran away from his friend as though he was in a rush to get to class, something that even Jaemin - who wasn't that close to him - knew Jeno didn't do. It was basic knowledge in their year. Jaemin worked hard to learn about everyone, he hated not knowing someone's name or feeling distant from people he interacted with. It was a need to be close to someone, but that need for attention from so many people had developed into commitment issues. He was so fully aware of himself, yet did nothing to change it. And that was why he was so confused as to why he was standing behind a potted plant, observing Jeno through the thick leaves. 

His heart beat quite heavily, not any faster nor slower than normal, just... heavier. Like there was something dragging it down, making each thump more prominent. 

Jeno had most certainly stopped Renjun from waving at him, only confirming the suspicion that he was avoiding him. Jaemin first suspected so last Saturday when he had run from Donghyuck after seeing the other boy, only to have Jeno push his way through the crowd and disappear before Jaemin could catch up.

He hadn't even had a plan. Not that it ended up mattering if he did or not, anyways. 

There was an awful battle raging inside his brain, one half trying to convince the other of a new ridiculous reason that he cared so much about what Jeno thought of him. None of it made sense. It wasn't a crush because he didn't like guys. That wasn't him. It never was and it never would be.

He banged his head against the wall behind him once Jeno was fully out of sight; utterly irritated with himself. "Fuck." He muttered.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Monday 17:11_

Doyoung had checked his phone seventy nine times in the last hour - not that Jaehyun was counting or anything. It was just that he was occasionally observant and this happened to be one of those times. He ignored the first few until resorting to staring at him until he put his device down. It wasn't very effective; the eightieth time had him slamming his hands on the table.

"Why do you keep looking at your phone? I'm in front of you, focus on me." Jaehyun glared at him but it wasn't genuine. However, Doyoung still winced and Jaehyun immediately shifted to an expression of bewilderment. He really hadn't meant the glare -

"Sorry," He said - very genuinely, unlike Jaehyun - and proceeded to rest the phone on the table, screen facing downwards. "I'm waiting for updates on my depressed friend."

"Who?" He inquired, and so he didn't seem like he was prying too much, he toyed with him pen. 

Doyoung paused for a moment, like he wasn't sure if he was supposed to tell him or not. Yet his face relaxed soon after. "Jungwoo."

The pen dropped to the table and Jaehyun's eyebrows shot up. Blood turned into a tangible concern in his veins. "What about him?" Jaehyun really liked Jungwoo, he was always kind to him. He was the type of person one didn't need to know well in order to want nothing bad to happen to them.  _Depressed_ , now that was something bad.

"He and Lucas got in a huge argument," Jaehyun couldn't help but note that Doyoung bit his lip. "They've never had a fight before." He added, the end fading into a whisper. Jaehyun knew it was because he began to focus on something else. 

"What? About what?" Jaehyun threw basic courtesy of not prying out the window.

Doyoung tapped his fingers rhythmically against the table. "Actually, Jungwoo hasn't said a word about it yet," The rhythm increased in speed, synching up directly with what Jaehyun assumed was Doyoung's stress. "He's just - he's," Jaehyun couldn't take the irritating noise, so he reached over and placed his hand on top of Doyoung's ceasing the tapping. The other boy made no obvious reaction, but spoke more freely. "He's just going to be staying at my place starting today."

"Seriously?" Jaehyun flashed back to the room, thinking about how such a small space would be able to fit a third person. The dorms barely fit two people as it was.

A nod. "Yeah, since I don't have a room mate, I've got extra space." 

"You don't?" Jaehyun asked, very confused.

"Yeah, I applied for a single dorm."

"You can  _do that?_ "

Doyoung blinked at him as his brow furrowed. "Um, yeah - how the fuck did you get into this school you seem to know nothing about it?"

"I'm charming." Jaehyun responded, his tone was completely serious. He mastered it a while ago when his lying talent peaked. In this case; however, he was just using it to be funny.

An  _mhmm_ came from Doyoung as he tried not to laugh. 

"What? Are you not charmed?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows. He saw the creep of a blush forming on the other's face and felt a rush of thrill that he caused that.

Doyoung snatched his hand back from where Jaehyun had completely forgotten he was holding it. "Since you failed the basics of Molecules, I'm going back to that -" 

"Wow, okay." Jaehyun deadpanned, and Doyoung grinned slightly before continuing on about something the former was undoubtedly failing. However, despite his usual passion to pass Chemistry, he found struggle in staying focused on the content. Instead, his attention drifted to the soft taps of a pen that hit the table every time Doyoung explained something he knew Jaehyun would have especial difficulty with. It was sad to say the pen hit the table often. Then he would swap to staring at the little furrow in Doyoung's brow when he knew Jaehyun wasn't listening properly. 

The moment Doyoung picked up his notebook, Jaehyun went for the question that sat at the tip of his tongue. "Do you want to go on a date?"

The notebook clattered to the table. Doyoung looked at him with wide eyes. "W-what?"

"A date? Us?" Jaehyun grabbed at the opportunity. He learned over and over again that asking directly usually got a better response. Sounding flustered showed weakness. 

"I... uh - what?" Doyoung repeated and Jaehyun screamed internally.  _I had to pick this idiot?_

" _This_ ," He began, gesturing vaguely to represent the word. "Doesn't count as one, so go out on a real date with me."

Doyoung blinked. "That didn't sound like much of a question."

Jaehyun waved him off. "The first two were," He winked. "Third time's a charm."

Red blush shot up the other's face. "Oh - uh... yeah - uh," He cleared his throat. "Okay."

Jaehyun grinned, widely, like a cheshire cat who'd won his prize. Doyoung immediately looked away, blushing more profusely than before, and started rambling off random words - Jaehyun wasn't sure if they were even real Chemistry, but he was content in his position. He definitely scored today.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Monday 17:14_

Taeyong closed yet another email from his dance teacher without responding, it was the fifth one today. He absolutely despised ignoring her but he had no answer to who he'd chosen as his partner and was, therefore, completely useless in answering her persistent questions. The partner issue had continued to be something he failed to resolve, repeatedly. In previous years, he had always accepted whoever first asked him, but this time... this time he wanted someone else but wasn't sure how to ask. Or if he was even allowed to ask. He nibbled at his bottom lip before taking a sip of his hot chocolate - coffee was known to make matters concerning lack of sleep much worse. 

"Did you just ignore Mrs. Lena's email?" A voice sounded from behind him and Taeyong panicked, knocking over his drink and watching in horror as it falls to the ground -

And Ten catches it, smoothly. He didn't even get to release the tightening in his chest by letting out a breath because Ten smiled at him with all the kindness anyone could ever muster. He was staring, for a while, until his mind caught up and he realized he was supposed to say something. "Oh - uh - hi!"  _That was so awkward, you are so awkward, what is wrong with the way you speak, can't you just act normally in front of this one person_. Taeyong let a stream of thoughts run wildly through him. 

"Hi." Ten replied, simply, easily, so unlike Taeyong who could not stop staring at him. This was the first time Ten had come up to Taeyong on his own, it was different from the dancing where Taeyong wasn't sure if Ten had asked him to dance because he wanted to or because he needed a partner to prove Johnny wrong. It was too difficult an algorithm to solve when he didn't have all the pieces of the puzzle. "So, can I sit?" 

"Oh! Oh my god, yeah of course." Taeyong hastily removed the clutter of papers from the other side of the Café table as the other boy sat himself on the empty chair across. He felt like such an idiot, such an embarrassment and they'd only been talking for a minute or two.

Ten leaned forward on his elbows to cup his chin in his hands.  _Oh... he looks so cute._ "So, why did you ignore our dance teacher's email?" He asked again, eyes twinkling - possibly at Taeyong's obvious admiration but who could tell. 

Said admirer looked at his drink to avoid eye contact. He toyed with the stirrer. "I don't really have a partner for the showcase yet so she keeps nagging." He winced, hating the word he used to describe her. Mrs. Lena really liked Taeyong - not as much as she loved Ten but still - so it was only fair, in his eyes, that he reciprocated the respect. 

Ten made an  _ah_ noise and Taeyong's heart beat picked up. He decided to go for a question.

"Who's, uh - your partner?" He looked up to see Ten still smiling, but it felt different from the one before. The confidence evaporated almost instantly and he felt a strong blush creeping up his cheeks as he let his eyes rest literally anywhere else.

A short pause. "I don't have one yet." If Taeyong was right - and he usually wasn't - there was a hint of hope in his voice.  _This is your chance, just ask him to be partners and it'll be okay, he'll probably say yes - no there's no way he would say yes. Why would he?_

"Oh, uh - I mean, I actually wanted to ask, um - like ask..." Taeyong began, stammering, tripping over every possible word as though he was just learning how to speak. And when he faced Ten to see if there was any kind of reaction, he was thoroughly surprised to see his smile growing bigger, slightly - ever so slightly. But Taeyong couldn't do it. "Ask about what you ordered."

Ten's smile wavered and the light in his eyes dimmed. "Oh," He replied, sitting up straight, no longer resting in his hands. His relaxation vanished into thin air. "I just came to get coffee before class. But I guess since it's starting soon I'd better go." Taeyong couldn't do anything but watch Ten's back as he got up, gave a little wave, and walked away.

He had never felt so frustrated with himself; the one time he needed to be confident and he failed himself.  _You idiot._ No one could recover from that, and he  _needed_ a partner by the end of today or there was no way Mrs. Lena would be letting him participate at all. She'd probably just fail him. Despite his grades being on the line, it wasn't them who pushed him forward, slingshotting him to grab the platform on the other side of the river. It wasn't even the giant crush he was harbouring for the other boy. 

It was the sudden hatred of his negative traits. A hatred that bursted through the locked doors of his self-esteem to grab the rope. "Wait, Ten!" He called, standing up as quick as he could, pushing himself through the sudden influx of students. He'd lost the other boy but there was a chance, if he moved fast enough, that he could catch up. "Ten!" Slipping by the kids in sports kits was more difficult. "Wait!" He pushed by a tall student in glasses who glared at him. He ignored it, he saw the familiar black hair up ahead and he reached forward, grasping the material of his shirt between his thumb and forefinger.

Ten whipped around. "Wha- Taeyong?"

Taeyong didn't waste any time. There was no way he was missing yet another opportunity. "Actually, since you don't have a partner and I don't have a partner," He expected to be cut off. He wasn't. "I was wondering if you wanted to be partners... with me." A word vomit unlike any other he had experienced. Usually he was more concise with what he said. 

He held his breath. Waiting. Waiting. The reality was it was likely only seconds before Ten replied; but to Taeyong, it felt like an hour of no oxygen. Until Ten's face cracked into a sweet smile and his eyes brightened enough to challenge the sun. "I'd love to."

And all the air in the world was restored when Taeyong released his breath.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Monday 19:35_

Mark fiddled with the buttons on the mixer, prepping the studio for the practice recording session. The room was dimly lit, he found that light had the tendency to mess with the dynamic between two people. Obscurity encouraged interaction between people because there was nothing else for them to focus on; a limitation on distractions. 

Or, it would be that way, if Haechan showed up on time. Mark had been sitting there for almost fifteen minutes, waiting for the other boy to arrive. They had designated a time, Haechan had  _promised_ he would be there, and now he wasn't. And Mark found he wasn't entirely surprised. He sighed and leaned back in his chair. Perhaps, this was a sign that this wouldn't work, or that Edward had finally made a mistake in his accuracy of predicting who Mark needed for his song.

He thought to Haechan's voice. It was soothing, definitely, but he had no idea if the boy could sing that way. The way someone spoke was nearly never the way they sang. What he needed for this particular composition was a range in the ability to sing both the main vocals and, while the back track ran, perform the ad lib perfectly. It was rare to find that kind of talent even in the world renowned music department of the University.

The door opened as he began to chew on the end of his pencil. He turned his chair, quickly, and was met with a glowing smile on Haechan's face.  _Why did I bother to turn off the lights_.

"Finally," Mark sighed, waving the other boy over. "You're so late."

Haechan dropped his bag in the corner of the room before plopping himself on the leather couch. "I had other things to worry about." Haechan took out all the papers of sheet music. Even if he was late, he was prepared. And Mark saw that there were little notes accompanied by small drawings along the parts they had discussed and revamped.

"That's so rude," Mark said, nevertheless, because it  _was_ rude, nothing changed the fact that he showed up after not apologizing and leaving him hanging. When Haechan didn't reply quite fast enough, he continued. "You could at least've said sorry or something."

"Sorry." Haechan said, but it wasn't at all sincere.

Mark shook his head. "That doesn't even count," He frowned. "Don't bother if it's not sincere, honestly -"

"Can we just drop it, for tonight, please?" Mark instantly shut up, because even if the apology wasn't genuine, the pleading in Haechan's voice was. It was borderline desperation and Mark could only wonder why he acted that way.

"Okay, but we wasted a lot of time," He gestured toward the recording booth. "Unless there's something else you wanted to change, can we try one?"

Haechan seemed to hesitate a moment before nodding once. He pulled himself up, but it was a heavy movement that apparently required quite a bit of effort. The way his feet were dragging along the ground as he walked over to the booth's door made Mark furrow his brow. He really wanted to ask what was wrong but that wasn't his place in a relationship that was based off of schoolwork. 

That was, until he saw the heavy bags beneath his eyes that seemed to be carrying a weight he couldn't handle. It couldn't hurt to ask at least once. "Look, man, if you're not up for it then we can just reschedule." Mark made some quick calculations in his mind, trying to come up with another day before he got an answer.

Haechan smiled, but it was weary, very unlike the ones he'd seen before. "Don't worry, Mark Lee, you can trust me." He slipped into the booth and Mark watched him adjust the headphones to his comfort. It was only when the light in the room switched on that Mark's heart sank at the lack of vibrancy in his normally tanned complexion. Like the sun had stopped kissing his skin. 

He cleared his throat. "Okay, we'll try it once first."

"That's usually how the order of numbers goes." Haechan said into the mic and Mark rolled his eyes. 

Adjusting the final pitch of the composition took a moment longer. "Let me know when you're ready."

Haechan gave him a thumbs up and Mark smiled to himself before hitting play on the track and beginning the first recording. It was only a practice and based on his previous experience with composing, these recordings usually took two or three hours before they got into the swing of things and could  _actually_ record the song. This was more for reference. 

The instrumental introduction began, going for sixteen counts. Haechan swayed to the tune. Mark toyed with the controls, trying to make everything perfect even though he knew it wouldn't be for a few dozen recordings. A buzzing on the counter beside had him turning, irritated at the sudden distraction. When he saw the caller ID, he sighed and stretched to grab it without needing to move. Dana always had such impeccable timing.

He mentally counted in the last four before the vocals were introduced and prepared to answer the call as he always did. He watched as Haechan's eyes closed and his lips parted, ready to begin -

And  _oh my god_ did he begin. Mark's jaw dropped, not expecting the sweetness of the voice to be so strikingly perfect against the strength of the instruments. They melded perfectly, Mark's hand faltered completely, he let it hang limp above the switches and keys that he so actively used not seconds ago. 

His voice was magical just like the sun that shatters through the winter night's sky, his voiced encompassed the crystals that melted in the solar wrath. A voice that was nothing short of sensational and that's what shocked Mark the most of all. It was perfect.

Mark's breath hitched as he shut off his phone.  _He_ was perfect.

 

❈✭❈

 

**John Seo created a groupchat (02:11)**

 

**John Seo renamed "John Seo" to "big boi daddy"**

 

**big boi daddy added Moon Taeil**

**big boi daddy added Lee Taeyong**

**big boi daddy added Nakamoto Yuta**

**big boi daddy added Qian Kun**

**big boi daddy added Kim Dongyoung**

**big boi daddy added Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul**

**big boi daddy added Jung Yoonoh**

**big boi daddy added Dong Sicheng**

**big boi daddy added Kim Jungwoo**

**big boi daddy added Wong Yukhei**

**big boi daddy added Mark Lee**

 

**big boi daddy (02:15):**

o wait shit no

 

**big boi daddy removed Mark Lee**

**big boi daddy added Lee Donghyuck**

 

**big boi daddy renamed "Lee Donghyuck" to "haechannie~~"**

 

**big boi daddy added Mark Lee**

**big boi daddy added Huang Renjun**

**big boi daddy added Lee Jeno**

**big boi daddy added Na Jaemin**

**big boi daddy added Zhong Chenle**

**big boi daddy added Park Jisung**

 

**big boi daddy renamed the groupchat to "WATS UP HOES WE MERGED"**

 

**big boi daddy (02:17):**

since we all frends i decided to just make 1 big group lmao

 

**Lee Jeno (02:20):**

WAT THE FUCKIS THIS 

 

**Na Jaemin (02:20):**

WATTHEFU CK IS THIS

 

**Lee Jeno (02:20):**

O SHIT

 

**Na Jaemin (02:20):**

OMG

 

**big boi daddy (02:21):**

u guys are really synched lol

 

**Lee Jeno (02:21):**

STFU

 

**Na Jaemin (02:21):**

STFU

 

**Mark Lee (02:22):**

R U KIDDING ME

_@haechannie~~_

_@haechannie~~_

_@haechannie~~_

I LITERALLY HATE EVRYTHIGN

 

**Park Jisung (02:22):**

AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

holy shit this is is gonna be amazing

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my summer break starts next week which means I'll hopefully be updating more consistently !! Though I'm planning like four other fics (not in this fandom, though (yet))!!
> 
> I know this is super short, I'm so disappointed in myself too, sorry fuieklwf
> 
> Thank you all so much for the support it really means the world to me and it's like the only reason I wanted to continue writing this :)) <3<3
> 
> I'm trying to use it more so: [follow me on twitter!!](http://twitter.com/wired_roses)  
> 


	8. Quiet Not-Pining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S OR RY

**WATS UP HOES WE MERGED**

18 members

 

**haechannie~~ (02:29):**

ooo and the veil remains

 

**Mark Lee (02:29):**

feuoiwofliueow

 

**haechannie~~ has renamed "Mark Lee" to "OUT OF THE LOOP"**

 

**OUT OF THE LOOP (02:30):**

OUT OF WHAT LOOP

 

**haechannie~~ (02:30):**

LOL SEE

 

**Park Jisung (02:30):**

u jst confrimed the accuracy

 

**OUT OF THE LOOP (02:30):**

and ur nicknames still apply

 

**OUT OF THE LOOP has renamed "Park Jisung" to "snake #1"**

**OUT OF THE LOOP has renamed "Zhong Chenle" to "snake #2"**

 

 

**snake #1 (02:30):**

oops

 

**Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul (02:31):**

i thot only admins could rename ?

 

**Qian Kun (02:31):**

jesus christ ur name

and everyone can rename

we just cant kick or add anyone

 

**Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul (02:31):**

oh

 

**big boi daddy (02:31):**

what the

no not dealing with that 

 

**big boi daddy renamed "Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul" to "DIEZ"**

 

**DIEZ (02:32):**

but y is it SPANISH this time?????????

 

**big boi daddy (02:32):**

its called v a r i e t y 

 

**Dong Sicheng (02:32):**

i dont want to be here

 

**Nakamoto Yuta (02:32):**

too bad 

ur here

stay

 

**DIEZ (02:32):**

but y is spanish considered variety ???????

 

**big boi daddy (02:32):**

it just is diez

 

**DIEZ (02:32):**

dont call me it ????!!!!

 

**Kim Dongyoung (02:33):**

wtf is this

 

**big boi daddy (02:33):**

friendship

 

**Nakamoto Yuta (02:33):**

then yd u add jaemin n jeno theyre gay

 

**Lee Jeno has left the conversation**

 

**Na Jaemin (02:33):**

end me

 

**Qian Kun (02:33):**

tbh gladly

 

**big boi daddy (02:33):**

tf?? 

r u guys not talking or smthing

 

**haechannie~~ (02:33):**

no

 

**OUT OF THE LOOP (02:33):**

no

 

**big boi daddy (02:33):**

wat

 

**big boi daddy added Lee Jeno**

 

**big boi daddy (02:34):**

this groupchat has existed for like 15 mins dont leav

 

**snake #1 (02:34):**

edgy kids dont abide by rules

 

**Nakamoto Yuta (02:34):**

i cant believe u j called urself edgy

 

**haechannie~~ (02:34):**

wait

u added everyone?

as in everyone ??

as iN LUWOO TOO???

 

**Moon Taeil (02:34):**

hyuck

shut up

 

**OUT OF THE LOOP (02:34):**

hyuck??

is that ur name??

 

**haechannie~~ (02:34):**

last name

as in Haechan Hyuck idiot

 

**OUT OF THE LOOP (02:34):**

dammit

 

**big boi daddy (02:35):**

wats luwoo

 

**haechannie~~ (02:35):**

a problem

 

**Nakamoto Yuta (02:35):**

make me admin ill fix it

 

**big boi daddy (02:35):**

wat no

wats luwoo

 

**Moon Taeil (02:35):**

IRRELEVANT

 

**big boi daddy (02:35):**

?????????????

 

**Jung Yoonoh (02:35):**

ths is gross

 

**Lee Taeyong (02:35):**

^^^

 

**DIEZ (02:35):**

hi taeyong!!

 

**Lee Taeyong (02:35):**

hi ten!!

 

**Qian Kun (02:36):**

holy shit ur talking??

 

**big boi daddy (02:36):**

why wuldnt they?

 

**Qian Kun (02:36):**

no reason

 

**Lee Taeyong (02:36):**

stop

 

**big boi daddy (02:36):**

wat??

 

**OUT OF THE LOOP (02:36):**

what ???

 

**haechannie~~ (02:37):**

LMAO 

is this the double threat out of the loop duo ??

 

**OUT OF THE LOOP (02:37):**

sHUSH

 

**Jung Yoonoh (02:37):**

LOL

 

**Kim Dongyoung (02:37):**

who the fuck is jung yoonoh

 

**Jung Yoonoh (02:37):**

excuse u 

who the fuck r u

 

**Nakamoto Yuta (02:37):**

srsly

 

**Nakamoto Yuta renamed "Kim Dongyoung" to "doyoung"**

**Nakamoto Yuta renamed "Jung Yoonoh" to "jaehyun"**

 

**jaehyun (02:38):**

WAT

 

**doyoung (02:38):**

WHAT

 

**Nakamoto Yuta (02:38):**

WHATS WRONG WITH U GUYS

BORDERLINE DATING ND DONT EVEN KNOW EACHOTHERS NAMES

 

**big boi daddy (02:38):**

wat the fuck do u mean borderline dating ??

 

**jaehyun (02:38):**

WE HV OTHER THINGS TO TALK ABOUT

 

**doyoung (02:38):**

^^

 

**Nakamoto Yuta (02:38):**

R U SURE U GUYS EVEN TALK??????

GIVING ME TAETEN VIBES WTF

 

**Lee Taeyong (02:38):**

NO

 

**haechannnie~~ (02:38):**

omG ACTUALLY

 

**Qian Kun (02:38):**

FEIJLKE ACCURATE

 

**big boi daddy (02:38):**

wats taeten ???

 

**snake #1 (02:39):**

taeyong n ten

 

**Lee Taeyong (02:39):**

UHEKLKLED

 

**DIEZ (02:39):**

!! ??

 

**Qian Kun (02:39):**

im done

goodnight

 

**haechannie~~ (02:39):**

same bye

 

**Nakamoto Yuta (02:39):**

goodnight lmao

 

**big boi daddy (02:39):**

wats with taeyong and ten

wats luwoo

y r jeno and jaemin just not talkng

doyoung and jaehyun r dating ??

CAN SOMEONE REPLY TO ME

_(seen by 1)_

 

❈✭❈

 

_Friday 13:20_

"Can you stay still," Jaemin demanded, angling his camera to let just a fraction of light pass through the negative spaces of Jisung's arms. His film class required three sets of two images that represented something beautiful that they would use as a stem for their short films, it was, however, difficult to capture beauty when his model would not stop squirming. "The sun is at such a nice angle."

"Thank you." Donghyuck sing-songed from beside him, the desire to whack him was overruled by his need to keep the device steady in his hands.

He opted for a half-hearted, "shut up," before returning to the task at hand. "Holy shit, Jisung, yes, please move some more." He said, sarcasm flowing out of each word.

The other responded with a glare while Donghyuck chuckled. "I can't stay still, I'm naturally active." Jisung hissed when Donghyuck flicked a small pebble at his foot.

This only disturbed the scene even more and Jaemin used another 1.5 seconds of his life before he moved the camera away from his face and scowled at Jisung. "Okay, switch it up! Donghyuck get in there." He drew a fast, straight line with his hand showing exactly where he expected the boy to move to. 

Donghyuck clicked his tongue and picked up his bag, likely with more speed than necessary because Jisung gave him an irritated glance. "Sorry, can't, I've got to go."

Jaemin threw his hands into the sky. "Where the fuck are my friends when I need them!" He cried out though it wasn't directed at anyone in particular. 

"We are your only friends." Donghyuck provided with a sly smile before jogging off, just barely dodging the two somewhat large stones thrown by both Jisung and Jaemin. 

Jaemin whipped his attention back to Jisung who was staring at the stone that had hit the ground rather than his target. "Where's Chenle?" Frustration built up within him because Donghyuck was very right with his statement. He had a lot of friends but none that he would like to photograph; let alone talk to on a daily basis.

"I don't know." Jisung shrugged. 

"Seriously?  _You_ don't know?" Jisung nodded and Jaemin stood up from his crouching position, knees beginning to waver. "You're joined by the hip all the time and - oh hell, I'm failing this assignment." Jaemin aggressively packed his camera back into his bag, even in his irritation he made sure that it was fastened securely enough to avoid any damage. 

"Just go grab someone else, like, oh I don't know... Jeno?" Jisung suggested and Jaemin almost tore the skin off his finger with a zipper. 

He didn't let the flinch show. "Haha, funny." 

Jisung sighs, loudly. "We don't even know what happened between you two." But Jaemin would not fall into the trap of a child's cuteness. 

"What can I say?" He began, after finally being able to pick up his bag. "We didn't click, after all."

"That's not what your interactions told us."

"I can't believe you use refer to yourself as an 'us' with Chenle all the time, isn't it unhealthy to be that close with someone?" Jaemin asked, frowning. He couldn't even tell if it was a genuine question or not.

Jisung simply shook his head. "Nope, best friends are best friends." Jaemin found he couldn't quite grasp that, the connection he had with his friend, seemed like a lot of... commitment. Sure, he and Donghyuck were best friends, but they didn't see each other every second of every day. 

"Right." He snorted.

There was a moment of silence when Jaemin began to transition to the next part of his day. Jisung broke it. "You and Jeno could've been best friends," Jaemin stumbled over his own feet though he wasn't sure how he'd managed to achieve that considering he hadn't even been walking yet. "Or, like, more than that."

Blood rushed to his cheeks, bringing a fire with it. "Did you not just hear me? I said we didn't get along." He muttered. 

"And I don't believe you."

"Well, that's your problem, isn't it?"

Jisung groaned and rolled his eyes but they walked together, nevertheless. Jaemin grinned, glad he had won the little exchange, but there was still a memory that resurfaced, dampening his pride. He recalled the moment where he had turned, responding to the sound of a girl's shriek, and he had locked eyes with Jeno and - it was not something he could remember without a queasiness sinking into the depths of his bone marrow.

 

❈✭❈

 

**Private Chat: Friday**

Jung Yoonoh, Kim Dongyoung

 

**Doyoung~ <3 (13:32):**

jaehyun?

are you still coming?

hello?

 

**< 3Jaehyun<3 (13:35):**

y

ea

illbe tehre soo n

 

**Doyoung~ <3 (13:35):**

uh

are you okay

how soon is soon?

 

**< 3Jaehyun<3 (13:39):**

oielkeoepop

 

**Doyoung~ <3 (13:39):**

what

??

if youre not coming just say so

we can reschedule or smth

 

❈✭❈

 

_Friday 13:44_

Jaehyun threw open the doors to Flyers Café a fashionable fourteen minutes late to the designated time he and Doyoung had set. He glanced around, searching because in his brilliance, he had failed to step away from the group he was doing some light day drinking with - perhaps, it was more than just  _light_ but who could blame him? Exams were coming up the following week and stress was best met with a burn that ran down the back of his throat and became embers to warm his stomach. 

His vision was barely wavering, honestly, he was surprised he made it away at all. Usually the sessions went on longer and ended much later than this. Blinking to regain focus when it left him, he spotted the black-haired boy reading at a table for two near the floor to ceiling windows. He grinned as he walked -  _stumbled_ \- over. 

"Hey," Jaehyun pulled out a chair as Doyoung looked up from his novel and looked up to the arriver. Too caught up in trying to figure out what he was supposed to say next, he didn't see the way the other boy's nose scrunched up and his eyes narrowed; he was deciphering him. "Sorry I'm late."

He lowered himself into his seat when Doyoung closed the book. "It's fine that you're late," Jaehyun smiled wider, in his haze, he missed that the other boy wasn't finished. He would really, truly, regret it later. "But you're drunk." It wasn't a question, like the first time they'd met.

Jaehyun wasn't entirely sure how to reply, all he could do was prop a hand out to his side before making the dumbest reply; lips loosened by the bittersweet taste of alcohol. "Yeah."

Doyoung's eyebrows raised, not in surprise, but in the face of blatant admittance to something that he shouldn't have been doing. Let along doing it before a date. "So you ask me out... and then you arrive wasted?" This was also not a question despite the tone it was dictated in. 

Three beats of a pause. "Yeah." There was a part of his mind that was screaming at him to shut up, but that part couldn't be heard over the relentless waves of pleasure that his stress-free-alcohol-induced thought process held. His common sense continued to fail him. 

A small sigh escaped the lips of his partner. Later, Jaehyun wouldn't be sure why he had assumed this was going well or any kind of positive direction. "Jaehyun." Doyoung nudged his drink aside and leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table. Jaehyun leaned in as well, grinning widely, so sure of himself because there was nothing but a void where his ability to read others used to be. 

"Yes?" He responded, voice laced with a touch of eagerness. The space between their lips decreased, shrinking in size until there was nothing more than an inch of air and a tension that felt almost tangible to the touch. Until it stopped altogether, the distance coming to a standstill where Jaehyun could feel the softness of the air Doyoung released after every breath. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to kiss Doyoung or if he was to wait for the other. Usually he did it.

But Doyoung spoke before he could even move. "Your breath smells like vodka." He whispered, so quietly he was surprised the throbbing in his skull even let him hear it. The words were nothing special and yet -

Jaehyun snapped out of his trance, adrenaline finally depleting the majority of the alcohol in his system. "Oh, shit." The first proper response he had. And Doyoung drew back instantly, nodding in satisfaction.

"I mean, that's a much better reply," He said, packing his book into his bag. This time, Jaehyun's loss for words was not because of his previous drinking session, it was because he genuinely had nothing to say that would speak louder than his actions. And he  _knew_ it. When Doyoung finished his clearing, he glanced up at Jaehyun, smiled with lips tightly wound and said: "Message me when you care enough." And Jaehyun didn't know what to do other than watch the person he had asked out, leave.

 

❈✭❈

 

**WATS UP HOES WE MERGED**

18 members

 

**snake #1 (14:47):**

i lost chenle

 

**Nakamoto Yuta (14:48):**

y r u not messaging chenle directly

 

**snake #1 (14:48):**

...

o shit thats valid

 

**Nakamoto Yuta (14:48):**

FUEIOLADLKAELK 

 _@big boi daddy_ KICK HIM OUT HES AN IDIOT

 

**big boi daddy (14:49):**

WTF

 

**snake #1 (14:49):**

i actually cant find him tho

if anyne fnids him msg here

msg me **

 

**Qian Kun renamed the groupchat to "i guess were jisungs slaves now"**

 

**Moon Taeil (14:50):**

slavery isnt a joke

didnt you see what happened with kanye

 

**Qian Kun renamed the groupchat to "i guess were jisungs worker bees now"**

 

**snake #1 (14:50):**

thts fcuking rite u r

find my best frend nerds

 

**Nakamoto Yuta (14:50):**

WTF NO

 

**Qian Kun renamed "Nakamoto Yuta" to "worst worker bee"**

 

**worst worker bee (14:51):**

U HO

 

**Qian Kun (14:51):**

hohoho im santa claus gifting u with good renames

 

**worst worker bee (14:51):**

ur so uncreative

pls drop ur fine arts major

 

**Qian Kun (14:51):**

wow go fall off a cliff <3

 

**worst worker bee (14:51):**

wud love too after those renames

 

**snake #1 (14:52):**

im not sensing the urgensy 

 

**Kim Jungwoo (14:53):**

*urgency

 

**Qian Kun (14:53):**

.......

DID JUNGWOO JUST SPEAK FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 6 DAYS

_(seen by 3)_

 

❈✭❈

 

_Friday 14:55_

Jeno was very unsuspiciously staying close to the far pillar of the hall. His back was pressed to the cement as he waited - very patiently - for Na Jaemin to leave. Which, of course, he wasn't doing because all the gods in the sky bestowed no luck upon Jeno and now he was to be subjected to a lifetime of misfortune. Three days ago he had promised himself he would only avoid Jaemin for another week before he could freely walk around the campus again.  _Just four more days to go_ , he thought, numbly. He wished it would pass by quicker, a weariness had overtaken him because now that he knew about the other boy's existence, he was everywhere, after every class - so it seemed.

So now he was here, peeking over the hard-cut edges of a pillar with nothing but a panicked impatience that made his heart beat in his chest as he watched Jaemin talking to a girl. Who was that, again? Veronica? Sophie? Mara? Just last week he would've been known very well who it was but something fuzzed the rational part of his brain. Just last week he would've said he didn't know what caused it. But today he pinpointed the cause almost exactly; Na Jaemin was very, very good looking.

Though he had, tragically, come to the conclusion that he had a bit of a crush on the boy on his own, it didn't mean he had to act on it. Especially not when said crush was one-hundred-percent, no-doubt-about-it, completely straight. But crushes were crushes even if they were unrequited and it wasn't love so it would go away; his previous ones always did after a few days or weeks so this one wouldn't be any different. Of course, that would be extremely difficult if Jaemin continued to pop up in the most expected - but to Jeno, the most unexpected - places. Really, he was surprised he was still in his right mind. 

Jeno quietly sighed when he saw Jaemin lean against the wall, seemingly content with his position and thus; he wouldn't be leaving for a while. However hard he tried not to, he kept stealing a few glances - despite himself. But he couldn't help if Jaemin was wearing a black turtle-neck that hugged his body snuggly, being a perfect fit for the extremely lean body he had, and he couldn't help if the grey, plaid long coat suited his attire so well. And he really couldn't help if the earring that dangled from two piercings shone in the light of day, or that his large, round glasses accentuated his facial features - and he couldn't help that every time Jaemin smiled it was the only time Jeno could let out a breath of air because he really was beautiful.

And he really was someone Jeno was trying to avoid at all costs -

"Are you not going to speak to him?" The voice shook him out of his quiet not-pining. 

Jeno turned around and was put face to face with Chenle and, surprisingly, no Jisung. He faintly recalled something about Jisung having lost him. "Who?" He asked, dumbly.

Chenle rolled his eyes, a slow, long eye roll. "Who? The potted plant over there? You gonna go talk to him?" He was gifted with a whack on the shoulder, but Chenle only laughed - none too quietly which made Jeno panic and look over to see Jaemin hadn't even flinched. He breathed a sigh of relief. 

"I'm not talking to him." Jeno mumbled.

"Really? I'm sure you'd have a lot to talk about seeing as you're a BioChem major and all," Jeno furrowed his brow, confused at what Chenle was implying. That is, until he continued. "You could probably give the plant some reproduction tips and -" Jeno hit him harder and turned back to where he was waiting for the boy to leave. "Ow, okay, sorry." He grinned and it was difficult to stay mad at someone with a smile like that. "But honestly, why've you been hiding here for the last ten minutes." 

"It hasn't been ten minu-" Jeno whipped around, glare on his face. "What the fuck? How long have you been watching me?" An appropriate question.

"Exactly eleven minutes, Jeno, it's became boring so I decided to step in," He quirked his head. "Dude, this is so hard to watch, just go talk to him instead of being some kind of stalker-creep."

Jeno's jaw dropped. "Stalker-creep-" He was cut off.

"Yeah," Chenle said, simply. "You can't seriously think you're being anything else," He shook his head, feigning disappointment but Jeno wasn't sure if there was a layer of truth to it. "The way I see it, you're only hiding here because you're too scared of someone who you've just  _assumed_ is not into you."

As his eyes widened, he finally let his jaw hit the ground entirely. "What do you mean - I... no that's not." He fumbled, grasping for any words that would save the situation that Chenle had apparently so easily read. Mark didn't even know.

"Save it, I'm good at reading people and I can tell a whipped man when I see one," Jeno thanked every deity to ever exist that Chenle had lowered his voice. "You just make assumptions about people without learning anything about them, and let me tell you something; that is so dangerous. Everything you think about someone depends on second-hand information or one thing you've ever seen, Jeno, you are the  _master_ at creating stereotypes," Chenle threw his hands out, emphasizing his point. Jeno couldn't reply, his tongue felt heavy in his mouth because  _he_ hadn't known it, himself. He only did what he thought one was supposed to do. "Frankly, I wouldn't have cared all that much but it's begun to hurt you and that doesn't really sit well with me," Chenle pouted and he looked like such a child with his features yet such words spilled from him that Jeno couldn't help but wonder who the real elder was here. "And yeah, maybe Jaemin _is_ completely straight, and maybe he  _won't_ be into you the way you are into him but who cares? You've got a crush, right? Yet you stand here like a headless chicken because, my dude, you're just not using your brain in any way. It's like watching a game of tug-o-war but none of you are pulling because you're afraid you're going to fall in the mud. Well guess what, Jeno, mud is easy to wash off and you're missing the perfect opportunity to have fun because you can't think about anything other than what you  _assume_ will happen or what you  _assume_ the other person is like. You barely know him and yet you treat him like you've slept with his third aunt, what the fuck is up with that?"

Jeno was shocked into silence. Genuinely. 

And Chenle kept staring at him after he was done with his little rant, but Jeno knew the other boy expected nothing to come out. Man he was right because Jeno couldn't do anything but let the final droplets of water sink into his skin and feel the individual particles travel through his bloodstream and up his spine until they reached the inner most core of his brain and -  _oh my god,_ he thought, horrified with himself,  _oh my god_.

He looked with large, helpless eyes at the boy in front of him who sighed, loudly. "I can't believe I left Jisung for this." He muttered.

Jeno blinked. "You what?" 

"Seriously?  _That's_ your first response?" Chenle looked absolutely incredulous. "After I give you the best life lesson, you respond to me mentioning Jisung. Wow, I mean, wow, you're completely hopeless."

And Chenle leaned over to give his friend a pat on the back before turning around, and walking down the hall. Away from a Jeno who really, really couldn't move. 

 

❈✭❈

 

**i guess were jisungs worker bees now**

18 members

 

**worst worker bee (15:07):**

grr

i cant belive i spent all tht time looking for chenle

but then i j see them walking togeter

 

**snake #1 (15:08):**

to be fair

he actually did ditch me tho

 

**snake #2 (15:08):**

<3

 

**worst worker bee (15:08):**

big grr

 

**doyoung (15:08):**

im begging u

_@big boi daddy_

pls kick him out the grrs are too gross

 

**Qian Kun (15:09):**

I DONT UNDERSAND Y WERE NOT ADDRESSING THE FACT THAT JUNGWOO SPOKE

_(seen by 8)_

 

❈✭❈

 

_Friday 15:09_

Mark tapped his pen impatiently against the table. The recording room's cold lights made it seem so much more daunting than it actually was, but the atmosphere of a recording room was very important to the way the artists sang. He was used to the feeling, so it didn't bother him anymore; in fact, he loved being in there, it made him feel accomplished. And yet, he was sitting there, alone, thinking about how he'd rather be anywhere else. 

Haechan was over half an hour late. Mark sighed and threw himself back into his chair, frustration evident in his broken movements. 

As if by some omen, the door to the studio opened and in walked none other than the late-comer of the century. He came in with a weariness of someone who had gone days without sleep, and it really was the way he dragged himself in - not even  _looking_ at Mark - and threw his bag, missing the couch, that made Mark only believe his small theory more. But both their grades were at stake and he was doing this for even their creative writing project. Late is late even if one didn't mean it. Mark stared at him, waiting for an apology or an explanation.

"Hey." He received and a weakness of irritation washed over him as his lips pulled into a frown; he didn't know why he expected any different.

"Hey?" He mocked, annoyance taking over his better judgement. This happened too often for his indefinite tolerance. 

Haechan didn't even smile when he spoke. "Yeah, 'hey', is that still the common greeting?" The lightness to his tone that usually came with comments like that was missing. It was here, where Mark should've begun to be more careful with what he said, but he didn't. 

"Seriously?" He opted for, instead. "This is the ninth time you've been late to one of our meetings this week alone." Anticipating Haechan's reply, he moved off the backrest.

He didn't know what he expected, maybe an explanation was too much for such a vague statement to his true intentions. "Sorry." So much insincerity shoved into one word, it fed Mark's frustration like dry grass to an open flame. 

"No," Haechan still wasn't looking at him as he landed loudly on the couch, face tilted to the ceiling. "You're not sorry, that's the problem."

An  _mhm_ was the only reply he got this time. It was nothing, not even tangible in the air.

"Not even a reply to that?" 

Haechan sighed. "What do you want me to say to that? Sorry my sorry wasn't sincere?" He closed his eyes, not moving from his position. Mark glared as Haechan added: "I have other things to do."

"Are those  _other things_ more important than our grades?" He instantly fired back. It was beginning to grow hot in the room despite the coolness he felt before.

A scoff. "There are a billion other things more important than our grades, Mark Lee." His voice held no enthusiasm, just... tiredness. 

But that didn't stop him. "Oh yeah?" He prompted. "Then what is it that's more important? What makes you so late?" There was a part of himself yelling at him to stop demanding, stop prying so much because that usually ended up with answers one didn't really want to hear. But he shoved those thoughts aside with a powerful push.

"I'm just..." Haechan bit his lip. "I'm just busy."

That really ticked him off. It was one thing to be late but it was another thing entirely to not give a reason for it, especially one as vague as that. Was it not common courtesy to do at least that? Perhaps, Mark had cut him a lot of slack the first eight times, he hadn't pried after Haechan had refused to give an answer. What if he was in danger in some way? Or had a family issue? Even an answer like that would do, but this just... this just made it seem like he didn't care and that infuriated Mark most of all. And he decided to show it. "I put up with a lot of your shit, Haechan. See? I don't even know your  _name_." He got up from his chair and walked over to where Haechan hadn't even flinched. "I don't even know your name but you can't even tell me why you're late to one of our  _final_ projects?" 

"Yeah, I can't."

Mark seethed. "Do you even care?"

"I-"

" _Do you even care_?"

And finally - finally, finally - Haechan opened his eyes and looked at Mark. Where there was so much light and banter there was just emptiness and Mark didn't know  _why_ because this person, this... kid, wouldn't tell him anything. "No," And Mark wasn't even remotely surprised. "No, I don't care about my grade."

He did; however, move forward and grab Haechan's arm. It was gentle, nothing compared to his anger as he pulled Haechan up on his feet; much to Mark's shock, he was met with little resistance. "Then why even bother coming every time?" He still gripped the other boy's arm but it was only to keep him still as he tried to use his gaze to bore through his defences. 

Then Haechan scowled,  _oh yeah, no he's definitely pissed._ In all honesty, Mark expected Haechan to yell at him and _that_ he could've dealt with. He wanted it. Because it meant that he was through whatever walls the other boy had constructed. 

But he didn't speak, he only stared - _glared_. And the barricade stayed up. Which only made Mark want to smash it to bits and pieces even more. So he took his own course of action.

"What is it, then? Why do you come?" He didn't mean it. "It has to be something. What is it? Is it the studio, do you like the studio?" He really didn't mean it. "Is it the content - oh fuck off, it's not the content, you don't care about that."  _I'm sorry_. "Is it me? Are you just here because you want to hang out with me? Am I that special?"  _I'm so sorry_. There was nothing but a pool of sarcasm with every word that spilled from his lips. He didn't mean to act so seriously. But then -

But then Haechan froze. And his gaze dropped to Mark's lips for but a fraction of a second. And he turned away as fast as it happened. And he yanked his arm from Mark's grip. And  _oh, oh my god_ -

Suddenly, his view of the world seemed to expand vertically so much that he knew precisely what had just happened. He knew exactly why Haechan kept coming here. All the frustration he felt dissipated in that moment, it was replaced with a nervousness because  _oh he likes me_. 

Now the other boy really wasn't looking at him. "I - uh... Haechan... I - I - I didn't... know," He fumbled over every word. "I'm so... sorry - I really - I... uh - I didn't know," Reaching out proved to be a mistake because Haechan flinched from his touch like it had seared his flesh. "Haechan." He tried again, softly, trying to get him to turn.

He did, but it wasn't what Mark had wanted. Haechan whipped around staring at him with raw vulnerability in his eyes. And Mark could  _see_ the walls crumbling to the ground only to reveal a bleeding heart. He opened his mouth, but Haechan quickly turned around, grabbed his stuff, and shot out of the room, leaving the door to close slowly, agonizingly slowly. Mark really knew he fucked up.

 

❈✭❈

 

**Private Chat: Friday**

**Kim Dongyoung, Lee Donghyuck**

 

**#doyoungie (14:27):**

hyuck?

uh ik this is really bad timing

cause youre meeting mark in like 3 mins

but i could really use your help

with jungwoo

 

**#hyuckie (14:28):**

?? is he ok??

 

**#doyoungie (14:28):**

he hasnt eaten all day

i really hate to bother you but youre the only one hes responded to so far

like at all

and i know youve been pulling a lot of all nighters for him and all

but he needs to eat

 

**#hyuckie (14:28):**

of course ill come

 

**#doyoungie (14:28):**

im sorry 

 

**#hyuckie (14:28):**

its not ur fault

nd hes my friend

no way im not coming

im sure mark wont be that mad .

 

❈✭❈

 

_Friday 14:45_

Donghyuck opened the door before Doyoung could get there, he was used to it. This week had slowly become a routine of no sleep, going to Doyoung's, and staying with Jungwoo as he took care of him. He didn't know why, but Jungwoo wouldn't react to anyone but him. He wasn't sure how much he could do beyond making him shower and forcing him to eat. He was catatonic and Donghyuck's sleep deprivation was starting to catch up to him. 

The room was drenched in a stuffy darkness, it was the kind that hadn't seen the sun for days. Doyoung stepped around as Donghyuck came in. "I've got to buy a notebook for my class this afternoon, I hate to bolt but I'm sure it'll be better with just you two, anyways." He whispered, and with that, he slipped out and shut the door behind him. The room was lit by a sliver of sunlight outlining the curtains. He shuffled over to the blanketed shape in the bed. 

"Jungwoo?" He called, softly, so very softly, not that he felt Jungwoo could be startled in his state but it was the thought that counted in this case. "It's me." He quietly picked up the sushi box Doyoung had left on his desk before sitting down carefully at the edge of the bed. Lifting an arm he gently stroked the soft hair that peeked out from the covers. It was greasy, of course it was, he only showered if Donghyuck made him. 

He didn't speak, but Jungwoo always did the same thing every time Donghyuck came over. Donghyuck smiled when Jungwoo gathered his strength and rose up, he sat facing the former. Even in the gloominess of the dorm it always broke Donghyuck's heart to meet Jungwoo's eyes. They were so... broken. If that was possible to see. 

"You need to eat, Jungwoo." He nudged the sushi in his direction, prompting him to eat it. Jungwoo let his gaze fall to the packed lunch. He didn't move a muscle; so it would be one of  _those_ days, then. With a small smile still plastered on his face, Donghyuck reached forward and wrapped his fingers around his friend's wrist, directing him to where the chopsticks lay. The latter finally moved, adjusting the position of the sticks in his hands before slowly lifting a piece of food to his mouth. Donghyuck didn't let the relief show, he found it was more effective to be a pillar Jungwoo needed right now.

This was never the difficult part, that always came after, when Donghyuck would try to get Jungwoo to talk. "Is the food okay?" He always tried that question first, hoping it would be the easiest to answer since it was in the present and not something personal. But as usual, Jungwoo did not reply. He didn't even react.

He could only sigh. Questioning never worked so he didn't know why he bothered. Why would an unresponsive person respond to such a mundane topic. He needed to find a new approach; the expectations and hopes of his friends weighed on his shoulders. They were breaking down without Jungwoo to steady them, and they all knew it. 

Jungwoo was the person they relied on to always be sober, to always be the friend that could keep everyone from harms way. He was always the balancing act to their chaos. Without that balance, their group would crumble. Even if they didn't know it, that's why it was so important to him that he do this. 

Checking his phone, he saw that it had reached nearly two fifty - great so, he was already twenty minutes late to his session with Mark. The other boy would be pissed off. Up until now he hadn't done anything beyond expressing frustration, but Donghyuck knew that everyone would crack eventually. And he hated doing this to Mark... especially Mark. He winced, wanting to clean himself of a stupid unrequited crush he harboured against the boy.

"I can't even imagine what you're going through, Jungwoo." Eyebrows shot up in surprise - not from Jungwoo, but from Donghyuck himself. He didn't even know why he'd spoken, let alone why his mind had allowed him to say that.  _Careful_ , that was the key word for his visits. Forcing Jungwoo to speak was not something he would ever do and neither was guilt tripping him.

A little lightbulb went off in his head. He turned back to Jungwoo, who's arm was beginning to slump again as he stared wistfully at his phone - Donghyuck had noticed several times now that Jungwoo would look at the device, waiting, just waiting, for someone in particular to message him; it never came. But that lightbulb signified hope. He didn't have to guilt trip him, because he resonated with him.

"Instead of asking you questions, I'm going to talk for a bit. Okay, Jungwoo?" His voice remained soft, timid. "I don't know if you know this but I'm partnered with this kid, Mark Lee, for our first Creative Writing final project - oh, a bit of an oxymoron - and for our semester's final Music project," He clicked his tongue. "We chose my favourite author for the creative writing presentation, the content isn't very fun but I like working with him," Shooting a smile in Jungwoo's direction was intended, the small waver, however, wasn't. "The Music project is a lot more fun, though. He wrote this song and it's really good, but  _I_ made it better. Well, no, that isn't really true. We both made it better because we were working together - oh that rhymes," Searching for a reaction: none. "I meet up with him a lot, like, right about now is supposed to be our ninth session. Wild, isn't it? That's a lot of sessions in one week. So I get to see him a lot," Without his permission, his eyes brightened. But then they dimmed, kind of sadly. "But I think there's a little problem," Jungwoo's eyes flicked to him. His heart beat in his chest. While it wasn't strictly a reaction because he did it often, it could mean he was paying attention. That was enough.

"You see, I think I've developed a bit of an infatuation with this kid," He hated the way his breath hitched. "Yeah, and it was going fine, like he didn't know - still doesn't know, actually - and that sits really well with me because wow, I mean, I don't think I'd be able to handle it if he knew," A nervous chuckle, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to continue. But the moment he looked over to Jungwoo, he saw the scrunch of his brows. He definitely couldn't stop now. "I mean, he's got a girlfriend so I mean, I think he's pretty straight. Or, I don't know, I had more faith in my homosexuality to pick someone who I actually had a chance with... alas, I don't have a chance," Now this was some fabulous rambling. Truly exceptional art,  _go you, Hyuck_. 

"I said before I have no idea what you're going through and that remains true, trust me," He continued, this time he directed his full attention to the other; letting him  _know_ how much he wanted him to hear this. "But I think, what you and I have in common is the feeling that we're being eaten up. Like a... like a lion eats a zebra? That's a terrible metaphor, you can ignore that," Donghyuck flexed his hands, feeling like they were suddenly far too strained for the situation. "The really, terrible, awful point I'm trying to make is that: you may think you're alone but you're not. And I'm not saying that because I know your pain, I've never loved anyone as much as you love Lucas and as much as Lucas loves you. I'm saying it because there is something that connects the two of us - longing. And it feels like it's suffocating you, and it feels like it's suffocating me." It contradicted exactly what he was saying, but he wasn't done.

"But, Jungwoo, that's only  _one_ thing that connects us," He broke into a smile, big and bright, some might say it was comparable to the sun's grin. "There's a billion other things that ties us together. For example, we all smile. Don't we? We can smile largely, or subtly, or fondly," He picked up on the little reactions Jungwoo had with every word he spoke. Until he softened his blinding grin. "And Jungwoo, we miss your smile," The sliver of light in the room illuminated the tear drop that had formed in the corner of his large eyes. "I miss your smile. Yuta misses your smile. Kun misses your smile. Taeil misses your smile. Sicheng misses your smile," He rattled off the names, seeing a new tear form at each one. "Taeyong misses your smile. Jaemin misses your smile. Jisung misses your smile. Chenle misses your smile. Doyoung misses your smile," He watched his friend's lip wobble. "And even if you don't think that now; Lucas misses your smile most of all." It was nothing but a whisper, one that he projected just to the extent that it would fill Jungwoo's lifeless form to the brim. 

And the other boy cracked. Letting a stream flow down his cheeks like a river being formed in the grooves of the earth. Donghyuck reached for his hand, squeezing it, reassuring him that he would be there if he wanted to break open.

But he didn't break. Because there was nothing left to shatter. Instead, he did what Donghyuck didn't expect; he spoke. "It's more like a vacuum cleaner." His voice was rough from the lack of use, but he didn't falter as others may have in his situation. It may have been soft spoken even for Jungwoo but it wasn't weak.

"What?" Donghyuck quirked his head.

Jungwoo made a vague gesture with his hands. "That... feeling of being eaten up? It feels more like a vacuum cleaner," He paused, biting the corner of his bottom lip. "It feels like it's sucked up all the things that made me happy." The words were absurd, that much was true. What wasn't absurd was how destroyed Jungwoo sounded. 

"You can find happiness in new things, Jungwoo, that's why it's the best. You'll always feel sad or angry about the same things but being happy about something? That's always new." Donghyuck pat him on the back and watched as Jungwoo glanced over at his phone. Not wanting to see his frown reappear, he thought about taking the phone but -

"Jisung made a typo."

Donghyuck blinked. "What?" He checked his own phone. "Huh, so he did." Jungwoo picked his device up. "What are you doing?"

He punched in a few characters and pressed send. "He won't pass his mandatory english class if he can't spell."

Donghyuck looked down at the new notification. It took him less than three seconds and two blinks before he burst out laughing. His laughter only increased when he heard the faint echo of Jungwoo's soft chuckle behind his.  _Maybe today will be a good day_.

It never was.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg okay so my summer began last week but I was faced with the world's worst writers block and just stared at my screen for a solid WEEK rewatching game of thrones like the incompetent writer I strive to be
> 
> I am so sorry 
> 
> AND GET READY FOR APOLOGY #2: I'm going to be gone for 2 weeks because my family likes to plan some really nice exotic places to visit for great chunks of time, so I'll be back after :)
> 
> I'm trying to use it more so: [follow me on twitter!!](http://twitter.com/wired_roses)  
> 


	9. You Need To Be Fixed

**i guess were jisungs worker bees now**

18 people

 

**Huang Renjun (15:15):**

ive discovered the biggest problem nomin's all over the world are facing today

 

**worst worker bee (15:15):**

wat the fuck are nomins

 

**snake #2 (15:16):**

OH

thts the name of the thai restaurant down the road!!!!

 

**Qian Kun (15:16):**

...

 

**snake #1 (15:16):**

.....

 

**Huang Renjun (15:16):**

uh

its Nammookatathai????

 

**snake #2 (15:16):**

oh dam same thing

 

**Qian Kun (15:16):**

IN WHAT WORLD DO THEY LOOK REMOTELY SIMILAR 

 

**snake #2 (15:17):**

uhH

it has all the letters required

 

**snake #1 (15:17):**

thats a very valid point

look theres an n an o an m an i an n

 

**Moon Taeil (15:18):**

I feel like its necessary to say you shouldnt back him up when he says things like that

 

**worst worker bee (15:18):**

r u dumb theres only 1 n u need 2

 

**Qian Kun (15:18):**

AHA

 

**Dong Sicheng (15:18):**

wow u beat chensung

 

**worst worker bee (15:18):**

impressive rite

 

**worst worker bee renamed "worst worker bee" to "best worker bee"**

 

**Moon Taeil (15:18):**

ok but if we are jisungs worker bees then you're still the worst because you just called him out

 

**best worker bee renamed "best worker bee" to "worst worker bee"**

 

**worst worker bee (15:18):**

my apologies queen jisung

im the dumb 1

 

**snake #1 (15:19):**

thts right

 

**Huang Renjun (15:19):**

this is all irrelevant to my original statement

 

**worst worker bee (15:19):**

TAKE THE FLOOR

 

**Moon Taeil (15:19):**

what are nomins

 

**worst worker bee (15:19):**

WAT THE FUCK ARE NOMINS

 

**DIEZ (15:19):**

pls the caps

 

**Huang Renjun (15:19):**

Jeno and Jaemin

 

**Lee Jeno has left the conversation**

 

**big boi daddy (15:20):**

i was just gonna observe this 

but no

cant fucking believe this

readding

QUITTERS are LOSERS

 

**big boi daddy has renamed the groupchat to "QUITTERS ARE LOSERS"**

 

**worst worker bee (15:20):**

AMEN

 

**Na Jaemin (15:20):**

u can j leave him out

 

**Qian Kun (15:20):**

congratulations jaemin

u earned urself a rename

 

**Qian Kun renamed "Na Jaemin" to "u put the MIN in noMIN"**

**snake #1 (15:20):**

LOL

 

**Huang Renjun (15:20):**

WAIT THATS GOOD AHAHAHA

 

**big boi daddy (15:20):**

fUIEHAJKLF

YES DO THE NEXT

 

**big boi daddy added Lee Jeno**

 

**big boi daddy (15:20):**

o wait kun if u rename using the same style

 

**Qian Kun renamed "Lee Jeno" to "u put the NO in NOmin"**

 

**big boi daddy (15:20):**

itll turn out like

...

well that itll turn out like that

 

**Qian Kun (15:21):**

oh wait

i didnt think the second one through

 

**Huang Renjun (15:21):**

this is why the relationship is one-sided

which is the point I actually wanted to make

 

**u put the MIN in noMIN has left the conversation**

**u put the NO in NOmin has left the conversation**

 

**Qian Kun (15:21):**

I guess it all worked out heh

I beat the fleet

 

**worst worker bee (15:21):**

wat fleet

 

**snake #1 (15:21):**

wat the fuck??

 

**big boi daddy (15:21):**

wtf

 

**Qian Kun (15:21):**

outsmarted nomin

praise me

_(seen by 13)_

 

❈✭❈

 

_Friday 15:22_

Mark couldn't feel his legs but for some reason he knew he was running, be it more blind than anything. He had no goal in mind, no thought as to where he was actually heading towards and yet, he  _needed_ to find it - not quite knowing what  _it_ was, had yet to stop him. Spending the last 10 minutes running around trying to find Haechan had resulted in nothing but increasing the terrible pain he felt in his chest. It also winded him. He paused to catch his breath.

"Mark?" Someone called, he looked up from where he had rested his hands on his knees. Jaehyun's eyebrows were raised.

"Oh my god, finally," So, Mark supposed his  _it_ had been just anyone he knew. He took to another sprint, making his way to where Jaehyun threw his hands out to stop him across the courtyard. They both opened their mouths at the same time and a chaos of words filled the space between them. "Haechan has a crush on me and I didn't know and I made a really insensitive comment about it!" He blurted while Jaehyun -

"I showed up completely drunk to my date with Doyoung because I got nervous and I butchered it completely, oh my god!"

"Wait what?"

"Oh shit what?" Jaehyun gawked at him and Mark had no doubt his expression was any different. They were both silent for a moment but it didn't last all that long. "Oh man, no, you go first."

Mark took a deep breath and Jaehyun dropped his hands from his shoulders, so the former recounted the series of events that took place not fifteen minutes ago. He couldn't find the energy to use hand gestures or any kind of metaphors to showcase his pain but he doubted his friend cared very much; in fact, he only nodded with a grim expression. When Mark was done, he looked at his friend - he wished it was with expectancy, or hope, but he didn't feel like he deserved to be comforted. 

"Well damn," was all Jaehyun said.

Mark's face fell, not because he wasn't expecting an answer like that, but he still had the right to be sad. Or maybe he didn't, he wasn't sure. "I messed up, Jaehyun, I was just so... blind?" He thought back to times they had met up, grasping for something to justify his blindness. "Blind is a good word, I think."

"Well I think it's a shit word." Mark's eyebrows shot up. Now  _that_ was unexpected.

He quirked his head. "I uh, what?"

Jaehyun pursed his mouth before speaking. "Did he ever say he was interested as more than a friend prior to what just happened?"

Mark didn't have to think much, "n-no, never," but he still stuttered. "But I-"

His friend didn't let him dwell. "Then, did he ever express physically or something that he liked you?"

This time, he did have to search through his memories. And he thought back to the little things he had disregarded, like how his face had softened when he laughed or how he'd cared for his well-being on multiple occasions, and how he showed up to every session despite looking drained beyond what humans should be capable of enduring. 

Yet in the end. They weren't obvious enough. They were exactly what a friend could've done. And Mark knew, knew with all his heart that he could  _not_ have known they were meant in a more-than-friendly way. Which meant he knew what to respond with.

"No." And he didn't stutter this time. Because it was true.

Jaehyun's gaze softened - just as Haechan's had, but now he knew the difference. "Then it isn't your fault." Mark let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"But it  _feels_ like it is." He supposed that was the most globally common part of it all: the feeling that it was the fault of oneself when it wasn't. That's when the self-esteem begins to plummet. Down a hole, to vanish into an oblivion of loneliness and self-hatred. He wasn't there yet. Luckily.

"It always does," Jaehyun muttered, practically voicing Mark's inner thoughts. "But if you say he gave you no signs then how could you have known?" It was such a valid question.

"I just... should've." And not a very valid response. 

Jaehyun wasted no time to point that out to him. "That is a  _terrible_ response, actually terrible," he scrunched his eyes before continuing, "that's like when an exam question asks you to 'explain your answer' and you don't know how to reply so you just write down 'because I did the math'," Mark noted that he seemed to be pouring a lot of his own frustration from Chemistry into his analogy. "How to fail a social situation 101 with Mark Lee, my favourite."

"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do." Mark said, exasperated.

His friend snorted, as if that was the dumbest thing he'd said all day. "Uh? That's easy, just talk to him," he rolled his eyes, "everything can be resolved with conversation."

Mark sighed, he pretty much knew he'd be getting that suggestion, anyways. "Ugh, I feel like he's gonna pull a nomin on me." Having just read the conversation on his phone during his little spree, the name was stuck in his head. 

Jaehyun burst out laughing. "Oh my god, I'm so glad you're using that in a verbal conversation." Mark could't help but snicker along. Until he remembered that Jaehyun had his own problem.

"Speaking of conversation and your theory - I'll quote you," Mark grinned. "'Everything can be resolved with conversation' then shouldn't your conflict be resolved, too?" 

"Okay, I take it back -  _most_ things can be resolved with conversation." He emphasized what he'd changed using air quotation marks. "And mine isn't one of those things."

Mark gaped at him. "Hypocrite."

"Nope." Jaehyun was adamant. "I just have a different case."

"That's just a cover for your blatant hypocrisy." 

"Nope, invalid."

"What the fuck?" Mark expressed as Jaehyun slung an arm around his shoulders and smiled as his friend's laughter lifted his spirits. 

 

❈✭❈

 

_Saturday 15:42_

Ten watched Johnny fiddle with a piece of fuzz that had sprung free of the cheap satin bookmarks the school gave out with every textbook. He had been trying to tug out a small string but pulled it too slowly, causing a catastrophe to spool out in the form of a much, much larger string. It looked like a disgrace and to Ten, who had been observing Johnny's losing battle against the fabric, it was becoming tedious. He reached over and yanked it off before his companion could mess it up any more. 

"God dammit, thank you." Johnny stared daggers at where the bookmark was barely three quarters of it's original size anymore. "What a lifesaver, honestly."

Ten didn't miss the moment of weakness and snatched the opportunity. "You're welcome, I think I'm great, don't you?" He bat his eyelashes and flashed a large but sugarcoated grin at Johnny.

The latter rolled his eyes but didn't verbally object to his question, Ten took that as a win until Johnny actually spoke again. "Do you use that face on Taeyong?"

He nearly choked. "What?" Only a weak version of his smile remained, he hoped it was enough.

"You know where you bat your eyelashes and use that smile, has Taeyong ever seen it?" Johnny asked again, this time his grin was spread wider than any other. "Does he faint?"

Now Ten snapped out of it, he hit his friend on the arm. "Shut up." He smiled at the laughter that left him.

"Oh yeah, that reminds me, how's your practice with him?" He seemed genuinely interested, which made Ten extremely happy - he loved to talk about the things he loved. Dance, that is.

"It's going really well," He started, hands splayed out because dancing was always a wonder to him. "We've choreographed the whole thing - we were paired with this group of seniors who composed a song." If anyone else were looking at him, they would've seen stars in his eyes. "He's really good, like, amazingly good. I mean, his style is completely different from mine but it's been really fun, anyways. Plus, the choreo is cool, it's not too hard but the point of the assignment is to create a choreo that compliments the composition, which ours definitely does! He did most of the chorus parts and I knew he was an astonishing dancer for a while now but, I mean, seeing it live and hearing him come up with ideas and stuff - he's phenomenal." He realized what he'd said and quickly corrected himself. "It's phenomenal, I mean  _it's_ , his ideas and... yeah." 

They finally passed Tourna building where the gardeners didn't cut the rose vines that reached up the sandstone pillars. He didn't really know what to expect when he turned to Johnny, he wasn't sure if he'd pick up on his little slip but one look at the raised eyebrows and downward tilted head was enough to tell him Johnny picked up on  _everything_. Damn. "Wow, are you sure you're just partners for a project?" He chuckled a bit at his own question. 

Ten hit him again, his heart beat a little faster but it wasn't anything that stressed him out. He was easily able to reply. "I don't have a crush on him! He's just cute, honestly." It was beyond his restraint to keep from laughing joyfully and, of course, Johnny joined in.

"Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever you say." He snorted. "You're the one partnered with him."

"I mean, he did ask me, I couldn't very well decline." Ten said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world and if he was being honest with himself - that was literally all there was to it. Taeyong had asked, Ten had accepted. 

Johnny looked at him like he was an idiot. "You literally just could've." 

Ten simply shook his head before stepping ahead and stopping Johnny in front of the particularly well lit bit of wall during this time of day. And where the rose vines curved quite nicely, avoiding contact with one another and leaving a bit of space in the middle. He'd discovered this spot a few weeks ago and since every good student should update their Instagram at least once a month, he needed the pictures. He whipped out his phone and handed it to a - only mildly - perplexed Johnny. "Take some pictures for me."

Johnny made an  _ah_ noise, and set his textbooks on the ground before grabbing Ten's phone from his outstretched hand. "Okay, then," he lifted the device so he could capture it in square form. "Pose!" 

Ten let out a short laugh before changing into the pose that he  _knew_ he looked the best in. Tilting his head the way that everyone always gushed about and smiling so that his lips were on full display and yeah, maybe, just maybe he was hoping a lot of people would like his content and that they would leave really nice comments like they always do and maybe, just  _maybe_ he wanted one particular comment from someone who had only recently followed him. 

"Wow, what a model," Johnny singsonged over the sound of pictures being snapped because Ten always forgot to turn his damn _ringer_   _off_. "Just get a contract already."

Ten burst into laughter, completely shattering his image, he was quickly joined by Johnny and the incessant clicks didn't stop. It was only when the chuckling died down that there was a little chime signaling an incoming message. "Oh wait, you got a text from Chungha." Johnny confirmed, still grinning.

And then his grin grew wider as his eyes went from left to right, reading whatever it was that Chungha had sent. Ten didn't particularly process  _who_ had actually messaged him before it was too late and -

"'I don't have a crush on him!' my ass." Johnny said as he turned Ten's phone around.

Ten's eyes widened and he winced as he read.

_Chungha <3 (15:48):_

_hey! you told me to tell you when i got a new partner and i have one now!!_

_so you dont have to feel guilty about ditching me for taeyong anymore lmao_

_good luck with the showcase! cya there!_

 

❈✭❈

 

**Private Chat: Saturday**

Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck

 

**nana (16:01):**

hyuck

k idk if ths is how our relationship works

but

DID U DIE

U J DIDNT COME HOME YESTERDAY

OR LIK TODAY

WHER R U

plS reSPOND

 

**hyuck (16:18):**

im fine jaemin

i might come home today

but idk

 

**nana (16:19):**

just as long as ur ok

ya?

 

**hyuck (16:19):**

yea

dont worry

 

**nana (16:19):**

i wont

 

❈✭❈

 

_Saturday 16:19_

Jaemin was worried. Really worried. 

Firstly, it wasn't like Donghyuck to not come home - if anything, Jaemin was the one who didn't come home. It kind of made him feel bad, because now he wasn't sure if Donghyuck always felt this concerned when he didn't come home every night or if he just didn't care. Not that it mattered, Jaemin still cared. Despite what their relationship was built on - banter and reliance - he felt more responsible for his best friend's wellbeing than he'd like to openly admit. 

 _No string attached, no strings attached, no strings attached_. And yet, there were always strings attached. Jaemin knew that, much to his disdain. 

He nibbled on the edge of his fingernails, a habit he'd broken into pieces long ago in another school, another Jaemin. And it was back, all because of an irritating amount of stress that had accumulated over the past few weeks. It was getting beyond what he could hold on to. He wasn't sure which problem to deal with first. Shall he begin with the Donghyuck problem? Or perhaps he should do the generous amount of outside class work that his professors had given him? Or should he finally talk to Jeno-

 _No_ , he shook his head, shoving the thought back to where it originated from since the very beginning of this whole mess. That idea always had the tendency to creep up on him when he was at his weakest; nowadays, it felt like he always was. 

Sitting in his room definitely wouldn't work to alleviate his stress. So he got up, grabbed a thick coat of his hanger, and left. The moment he stepped outside the cold air bit his tight skin but it was all worth it because he forgot about his stress in a second. Like he was being cleansed by a physical pain instead. He was enjoying himself, but he really shouldn't have been because unluckiness always snatched him when he was vulnerable.

Someone grabbed his arm and he knew without having to really look that it was Jisung. He turned - easily confirming his suspicions - and glared at where his friend's hand was tightly clamped on his bicep. "Jisung, what the fuck."

"Chenle already did this so it's my turn." Was the first thing that came out of his mouth and Jaemin felt his features shift into confusion. 

"Chenle did what?"

Jisung grimaced. "You and Jeno are really annoying, did you know that?" Jaemin's jaw dropped.  _What the fuck, this attitude_ \- "Just shut up, let me continue." He clamped his mouth shut, some kind of all-mighty god must've possessed Jisung and gave him power over Jaemin, that was the only probable cause of his sudden ability to obey.

His friend shifted awkwardly on his feet. He seemed just as uncomfortable as Jaemin was feeling.

"I'm not sure how I'm supposed to start this, honestly." He muttered. "My way with words is practically non-existent." 

Jaemin would've held out and let him mutter to himself a little longer but it seemed to be going nowhere, so he took matters into his own hands. "Look, Jisungie," He used the name he knew his friend always pursed his lips at in distaste - he was right. "I mean, really, what happened between Jeno and I isn't something that you have to deal with. It doesn't matter anymore, no one cares what-"

"I'm gonna have to stop you right there." Jaemin's eyebrows shot up in surprise at the sudden cut off. "What makes you think it doesn't matter? Or that no one cares?"

Jaemin quirked his head, mildly annoyed that that was even a question. "Because it's not their life it's affecting, and we barely know each other -"

"The fuck?" Cut off again,  _what the fuck_. "That's just completely untrue. Okay yeah, maybe you think it's only affecting  _you_ but that's just so dumbly incorrect. Like I actually can't tell if you're joking?" Jaemin scrunched his brows, genuinely perplexed. "If you're not joking. Then you're an idiot - don't bother interjecting, whatever you say will be dumber." Jaemin shut his mouth again. "You don't think Donghyuck cares about your well being? Or Taeyong? Yuta? Are they just extras in a play all about you? That's how your treating everyone around you right now, you know."

He wasn't sure how he was supposed to respond or  _if_ he was supposed to respond. So Jisung continued.

"But you know what? Maybe it is all about you, because it's your problem if you keep wistfully staring after Jeno - yeah I said wistfully." Jisung snapped, sharply. He was through with his friends being idiots; now he was on a mission. "Because even though _you_ won’t admit it, you look at him like Taeyong looks at Ten and like Donghyuck looks at-“ He paused but caught himself quick, eyes lighting up with determined flames. “And _you’re_ the only one that thinks it’s not okay, _you;_ not me, not Chenle, not Taeil, not Kun, not _anyone_ but you. You and your inability to recognize that you’ve developed some kind of internalized homophobia that’s become so ridiculously unhealthy to your well-being because, Jaemin, you like Jeno! You see him as someone that could be _more_ than just a friend and you need to pull yourself together and fight whatever is eating at you saying that it’s wrong because it’s _not_ wrong. It’s not wrong to look at him like you want to hold his hand or kiss his lips,” Jaemin couldn’t help but flinch at the words, they were hot iron on his skin, pressing deeper and deeper into his bones. He knew Jisung saw it, the way even now, it was killing him to even hear the words that rang so true. His tone quieted but the strength of his voice stayed. “Stop treating that part of yourself like a foreign disease, who you like and who you choose to be with won’t define you — it never will. So accept yourself, everyone else already has.”

And damn if it didn't send Jaemin to the fifth dimension to contemplate his entire existence right then and there.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Saturday 19:20_

"Taeyong? Taeyong!" It snapped him out of his own thoughts. He turned to the source of the voice who was, currently, standing near the door to his dorm. "Are you deaf?" Kun said, unbelievingly. 

"I - no." Taeyong said, dumbly.

Kun gave him a knowing look. "Then, are you okay?"

Taeyong blinked. "What?" 

"Are you okay?" He drawled, repeating each syllable slowly.

He didn't know how to reply and how should he know? All that went through his head were little flashes of memories. Of him practicing with Ten, laughing with Ten, dancing with Ten, all in all having a really wonderful time with him. But that was never enough to cover everything up, was it?

His heart beat heavily in his chest, but it was slow, like it was trying to give up and the only thing tethering it to life was a fear of death. As if on cue, his memory flickered in and out of presence.  _I don't have a crush on him, he's just cute, honestly._ It replayed in his head like a mantra - only, he didn't want to hear this one. Not that a dislike for something ever stopped it from happening. But then, he supposed he shouldn't have been so saddened by the confession he overheard, it's not like he actually had any hope where his crush was concerned. 

"I'm fine." He replied, but even to him, it didn't sound very convincing. More like a rehearsed line that he had to deliver every time someone asked him that, like it was the default feeling to be  _fine_. 

"You're not." Kun rolled his eyes, walked over, nudged Taeyong's legs aside where they took over the entire bed, and sat down on the edge. "What's wrong?" A lot of things are wrong: rape is wrong, slavery is wrong, abuse is wrong, murder is wrong. But that wasn't the answer Kun was looking for.

However, the determination in his voice forced Taeyong to think. He thought about the moment he'd arrived, just to hear his crush say he didn't like him back. He thought about how he'd made his escape from the area not a few seconds after, before anyone could see him. It made him look back at their practices together, where Ten always smiled at him and put a reassuring hand on his arm. And he had thought that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance his feelings had been requited. Perhaps, it was because of what Kun, Yuta, and Sicheng had said about Ten - that he looked at Taeyong the way the latter always looked at him. 

But there was always something that contradicted a belief, in this case, it was that he doubted Ten would ever return his feelings. So why should he continue harbouring them? If only it was that simple to shut off, maybe he would've done it a while ago. Well, no, he wouldn't have. Because up until this moment in time, he had loved his little crush, yes, it was ever so stressful, but it was also  _fun_ and that's what a crush should be. So he had no reason to hate himself over it. 

And he supposed, that was all he needed to tell himself. That he shouldn't hate himself for something that had nothing to do with him. Something he had expected. So he let out a sigh.

Taeyong shook his head. "Nothing's wrong, I'm fine." And he meant it a little more than he did a few seconds ago.

Kun, a master at reading people, definitely sensed the change. "But... you'll tell me if you feel worse?" Taeyong let his heart fill with warmth that the thought of his friend caring so much about him, but not enough to bug him about it. That was the kind of friend he needed right now, and he was glad Kun was there.

"Yeah, I'll tell you if I feel worse." And it was time to let the crush go.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Saturday 21:29_

Cold air blew through the tiny crack in the window that had purposely been left open. The musty smell of the dorm room had completely gone now, it felt a lot fresher to Donghyuck, he was no longer punished by thick air and overused bed sheets. He and Jungwoo had - not so gracefully - removed the ones the latter had been sleeping in for weeks and replaced them with ones Donghyuck ordered online. Though the express delivery was very express, the bedsheets themselves, well, they weren't exactly what he'd thought he'd ordered.

Now the two of them sat on top of three powerpuff girls that had been elongated to fit vertically across the entire sheet, making them look absolutely terrifying. Jungwoo had almost immidietely pleaded with Donghyuck to have them removed, but stubborn to his purchase, he refused. Resulting in them now chewing their crackers and cheese - a healthy, nutritious dinner in their eyes - with napkins for plates, on top of three witches. 

"I think it tastes good because we haven't eaten all day." Jungwoo said in response to Donghyuck's question of  _why do cheese and crackers taste so damn good_. 

Donghyuck considered this. "You know what? You could be right." Earning a chuckle from his friend. They lapsed into a comfortable silence, they didn't need to speak much. They only needed to enjoy the company each one offered. Perhaps, they were both that desperate for attention. 

"Are you going to stay here again?" Jungwoo suddenly asked. Donghyuck blinked, not particularly surprised by the question itself - it wasn't his dorm, after all - but more by the softness with which Jungwoo asked it. He wasn't sure if his friend wanted him to stay or if that was a silent plea for him to go home and be with his own best friend. 

Jaemin was definitely worried, despite saying otherwise, Donghyuck knew him well enough to know when he was worried and when he wasn't. His best friend was always a brilliant actor and was great at hiding things or redirecting the topic; however, Donghyuck could see past everything. He knew how much stress his friend was really under whether he verbally confirmed that or not was irrelevant. 

But Donghyuck felt too bad to burden him with his problems.

"Do you mind if I do?" He asked, yet the fact was that he already knew Jungwoo would never tell him to leave. Donghyuck may have been carrying twice his own weight from the ridges of his shoulders, but Jungwoo carried double that, if not more. It hurt him to see his friend suffer so much. 

As predicted, Jungwoo shook his head. "No, you can stay for as long as you want," He looked up to the ceiling. "Although, this isn't my dorm, so I'm not sure if it's really my choice." He smiled and Donghyuck mirrored it.

"Oh yeah, where is Doyoung, anyways?" He hadn't come to his own room yesterday and though Donghyuck had picked up on that, he hadn't been in the right state of mind to consider anything other than  _I'm ruined._

Jungwoo popped another cracker into his mouth then spoke through it. "He's staying at Yuta's, I think? I'm pretty sure." Donghyuck was surprised that not a single crumb fell out. 

"Oh, I see." 

"Since the room is pretty full." Jungwoo smiled, warmly.

Donghyuck just nodded in response, now he definitely felt guilty for taking up the remaining bed. He silently vowed he'd only stay one more night, Doyoung shouldn't have to stay somewhere else even if Donghyuck did love to mess with him. Besides, it wasn't healthy to rely on just one person in life - in this case, Jungwoo - so he knew he had to go back and talk to Jaemin. And he knew he'd have to talk to Mark, too, it was just... difficult. What was he supposed to say? He ruined their entire relationship by running out of that room, it was all his fault that they were going to be awkward now. 

_Why couldn't I have caught feelings for... oh, I don't know... literally anyone else._

"Jungwoo?" He suddenly looked up and stared him dead in the eye. If he was doing something about his messed up social life, he wasn't going to get nothing out of it.

His friend looked up and blinked once. "Yeah?"

"Let's make a deal." He smiled, just matching the kindness that Jungwoo put into his smiles but it was more mischievous. Jungwoo quirked his head in question, so Donghyuck continued. "I'm going to talk to Mark so our relationship doesn't turn into a nomin. But in exchange, you're going to find Lucas and talk to him."

Despite making a 'deal', he knew Jungwoo knew it wasn't really optional. Really, the only reason he said it now and not before was because he thought that the other man knew that he couldn't avoid his best friend for over ten years forever. Even if they stopped being friends after talking, that was better than what it was right now. Right now, it couldn't even be called a mess because neither Jungwoo nor Lucas had even bothered to  _address_ the issue. 

And that's why Donghyuck knew Jungwoo would reply with: "Yeah, let's do that." Donghyuck went to pick up another cracker but he was stopped. " _But_ , if we're going to do that, then shouldn't  _everyone_?" And his smile suddenly matched Donghyuck's mischievous one, perfectly.

 

❈✭❈

 

**QUITTERS ARE LOSERS**

16 members

 

**haechannie~~ added Na Jaemin**

**haechannie~~ added Lee Jeno**

 

**haechannie~~ (22:03):**

calling all idiots

starting tomorro

evryone has to fix their social problems

 

**Na Jaemin (22:03):**

or wat

 

**haechannie~~ (22:03):**

or u can go fall off a cliff

 

**Qian Kun (22:03):**

or ill rewrite all ur thesis' in senior year

 

**haechannie~~ (22:03):**

or tht

 

**Na Jaemin (22:04):**

shit

_(seen by 18)_

 

❈✭❈

 

_Saturday 22:04_

The ping of a new message popped up one last time that night, it lit up the screen and his face along with it. That little light outlined swollen eyes and pale skin, but most of all, it lit up a broken heart who didn't mean to say anything it meant to say.

But it did say it.

And now it was up to him to fix it.

And this time, he would say the  _right_ things.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I know I said two weeks and it's been three for no other reason than I just stared at my laptop for a solid week stressing over universities to apply for and the mess of my life :)
> 
> I won't take that long to update again, oops
> 
> Anyways, I read ALL comments (they really excite me the most) but I don't really know if people want me to reply to them so I stopped but I love you all and thank you so much for your support
> 
> I'm trying to use it more so: [follow me on twitter!!](http://twitter.com/wired_roses)  
> 


	10. My heart goes Bboom Bboom

_Sunday 9:00_

"Are these  _really_ what they're giving us?" Taeyong's eyes were as wide as saucers as he skimmed through the lyrics for what felt like the hundredth time. Maybe if he read them enough times, they would magically change into something completely different. "Would the department even approve these?"

Ten laughed softly. "I think you're stressed out for no reason, the department doesn't care," He grinned and Taeyong forced himself to look away from the blinding white. "These aren't bad and we're technically adults so. This is fine." Ten returned to his scrolling, double checking lyrics and matching them with the timestamps on the demo they sent. 

The lyrics were a bit weird but not overly so. In fact, there were only a few questionable lines, really,  _I'm gonna knead your body_ definitely took the top spot for lyric-that-he-definitely-did-not-want-to-perform-with. The music they'd received prior to getting the lyrics had already been very unique so he shouldn't have been surprised that the finalized words to the song would be like this. And it wasn't that Taeyong felt uncomfortable dancing to a song built of innuendos.

He just felt a shiver every time he remembered he had to dance to the song with  _Ten_. That was the only part that really scared him. How was he supposed to get over a crush if he couldn't stop thinking about him?

"I guess so." Taeyong mumbled, trying not to sound too unconvinced. The knowing look Ten gave him suggested he had failed in hiding. 

"It doesn't change what we rehearsed," The other boy said, proping himself up on his hands where he lay on the dance floor, and Taeyong hated the way he noticed how perfectly his back arched and how it shouldn't have been possible for him to look so amazing in an everyday position. "So you don't need to be stressed, either." He turned to look at Taeyong quicker than the latter had expected and though he tried to tear his eyes away from Ten's back as fast as he could, he wasn't sure if he was quite fast enough. "Are you stressed?"

He answered truthfully. "Yeah, I'm stressed." But not because of the reasons Ten thought. 

Ten gave him a kind, closed-mouthed smile - which was good, because Taeyong wasn't sure if he could resist being blinded another time. "We're going to be amazing, Taeyong," His eyes brightened significantly but it flew right over Taeyong's head. "You're going to be amazing."

His breath caught in his throat but he forced it to keep moving before it could stay there long enough.  _Don't fall for it, don't fall for it, don't fall for it, don't fall for him, don't fall for him_ , he tried internally chanting to the best of his ability but it was so much harder than anyone ever made it out to be. To convince oneself to give up, that was the hardest part - always.

"I hope everyone else thinks so." He blessed every god he had ever read about that his voice didn't shake. And once again, he missed the way the light in Ten's eyes dimmed at the lack of recognition.

"They will," His tone remained light. "Have some faith in me!" He chuckled slightly and Taeyong joined in, finding it easier to ignore the beauty of everything Ten did when he was distracted.

Taeyong smiled softly. "Yeah I trust you." He was pleased to realize some of his previous anxiety had dissipated. "But do we have to use the title they gave us? I mean, 'Baby Don't Stop' seems a little weird to perform under, no?"

Ten seemed to think about this for a moment. "Kind of, but we're not allowed to change anything about the actual song, so we have to keep it since we're not its producers and the music students get their own midterm grades from this." Taeyong pursed his lip in a pout. "We'll be fine."

"Okay," He relaxed at the softness in Ten's voice. "We'll be fine."

This earned him a large smile from the other. "Perfect," He said, shutting his laptop and moving into a sitting position. The small part in the back of Taeyong's mind that was screaming at him to admire the shape of Ten's body instantly shut up with nothing else to hold on to. "Do you want to go grab something to eat? I haven't had any breakfast."

He opened his mouth to reply with an automatic  _yes_. But then he remembered: to get over someone meant he needed to distance himself. Wasn't that how it worked? He bit his lip, the lightness of the atmosphere falling to the ground in a soul-crushing density. 

And he had to reply with, "I... uh... I can't. I have to do something." Composure shattering.

Taeyong grabbed his phone which lay on the counter of the room, whipped around, and ran out of the room without a second glance. Because if he had, he knew - knew so well - that he would've given in. 

So he missed the way Ten's eyebrows rose in disappointment as he longed after the partner that had run out on him. 

 

❈✭❈

 

**QUITTERS ARE LOSERS**

18 members

 

**Huang Renjun (11:02):**

what if we dont have social problems?

 

**worst worker bee (11:04):**

ur jsut now asking ths??

 

**big boi daddy (11:04):**

doesnt everyone have social problems?

 

**worst worker bee (11:04):**

the fuck? n

o

 

**Moon Taeil (11:04):**

has your typing devolved to premature messages now?

 

**Qian Kun (11:04):**

wow guys every single one of those messages had a question mark

 

**snake #1 (11:05):**

wow

 

**snake #2 (11:05):**

congrats on the observation

 

**Qian Kun (11:05):**

shut up its a great obsevation

 

**snake #2 (11:05):**

making dull comments must come with old age

dont worry

 

**Qian Kun (11:05):**

SHUT UP>????

 

**Moon Taeil (11:05):**

so why did you ask about who doesnt have social problems?  _@Huang Renjun_

 

**Huang Renjun (11:05):**

idk what are we supposed to do since we're not depressed losers with relationship problems?

 

**worst worker bee (11:06):**

well obv its our job to cheer the losers ON

 

**Qian Kun (11:06):**

 

wtf how

 

**snake #1 (11:06):**

this is y ur the worst worker bee

 

**worst worker bee (11:06):**

stfu

we

should

have

a

 

**big boi daddy (11:06):**

holy fuck plsplspls talk in 1 word lines some more omg <3 <3 <3

 

**worst worker bee (11:06):**

theme song and choreograph a cheer

SHT UP I WSA ALMOST  DON E

 

**Huang Renjun (11:07):**

why would we ever dance to a song

a theme song :????

 

**snake #1 (11:07):**

tf not doing that

 

**big boi daddy (11:07):**

yea it's a no from me

 

**snake #2 (11:07):**

im not feeling the dancing

 

**Qian Kun (11:07):**

no wait it's sucha  good idea

this groupchat deserves a theme song

 

**worst worker bee (11:07):**

fuckin rude

jst wasnt wat i was saying

but k ya lets do it

 

**Qian Kun (11:07):**

let me do this

 

**Qian Kun created a poll: VOTE FOR OUR THEME SONG NERDS**

Love Scenario - iKON

Now or Never - SF9

Bboom Bboom - MOMOLAND

I'm So Sick - Apink

What Is Love? - TWICE

Blood, Sweat & Tears - BTS

 

**Qian Kun (11:09):**

I expect 18 votes.

 

**haechannie~~ (11:09):**

wtf is this

 

**big boi daddy (11:09):**

question

 

**Qian Kun (11:09):**

yes?

 

**big boi daddy (11:09):**

why is bts song the only one not from 2018

like coudlnt you have used idol or fake love

 

**worst worker bee (11:09):**

blood sweat and tears jst their best song

 

**Qian Kun (11:09):**

^^^^

wow fucking facts right there

 

**snake #1 (11:09):**

phact

 

**Moon Taeil (11:09):**

omg you're going to fail english

 

**haechannie~~ voted on the poll: VOTE FOR OUR THEME SONG NERDS**

1\. Now or Never - SF9  _haechannie~~_

Love Scenario - iKON

Bboom Bboom - MOMOLAND

I'm So Sick - Apink

What Is Love? - TWICE

Blood, Sweat & Tears - BTS

 

**Qian Kun (11:10):**

haechan mvp for boting first

 

**Huang Renjun (11:10):**

boting

 

**snake #2 (11:10):**

boting

 

**snake #1 (11:10):**

boting

 

**big boi daddy (11:10):**

LMAO WTF

 

**worst worker bee (11:10):**

y now or never

 

**haechannie~~ (11:10):**

j the best song on tht list

 

**Na Jaemin (11:11):**

THTS A FACT

 

**Na Jaemin voted on the poll: VOTE FOR OUR THEME SONG NERDS**

1\. Now or Never - SF9  _haechannie~~, Na Jaemin_

Love Scenario - iKON

Bboom Bboom - MOMOLAND

I'm So Sick - Apink

What Is Love? - TWICE

Blood, Sweat & Tears - BTS

 

**Kim Dongyoung (11:11):**

wtf is this

 

**Qian Kun (11:11):**

democracy

 

**big boi daddy (11:11):**

wat the fuck no

 

**snake #1 voted on the poll: VOTE FOR OUR THEME SONG NERDS**

1\. Now or Never - SF9  _haechannie~~, Na Jaemin_

2\. What Is Love? - TWICE  _snake #1_

Love Scenario - iKON

Bboom Bboom - MOMOLAND

I'm So Sick - Apink

Blood, Sweat & Tears - BTS

 

**Huang Renjun (11:12):**

um

unexpected

 

**Lee Taeyong (11:12):**

??????? jisung ???????

 

**snake #1 (11:12):**

probelm?

 

**haechannie~~ (11:12):**

ngl i was 200% sure he was gnna pick now or never

 

**Lee Jeno (11:12):**

...

same . ..

 

**Qian Kun (11:12):**

shock over 

vote now

 

**DIEZ (11:13):**

but theyre all the best songs this year

 

**Na Jaemin (11:13):**

nope

no stray kids thre

stray kids my pace best song 2018

 

**Huang Renjun (11:13):**

wow that's jeno's favourite song of 2018 too !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**big boi daddy (11:13):**

wow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**Qian Kun (11:13):**

OHOhOHOHOHohOhohOo WOOOOOOWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**Na Jaemin (11:13):**

omfg

 

**snake #2 voted on the poll: VOTE FOR OUR THEME SONG NERDS**

1\. Now or Never - SF9  _haechannie~~, Na Jaemin_

1\. What Is Love? - TWICE  _snake #1, snake #2_

Love Scenario - iKON

Bboom Bboom - MOMOLAND

I'm So Sick - Apink

Blood, Sweat & Tears - BTS

 

**Kim Dongyoung (11:14):**

that's a classic

 

**haechannie~~ (11:14):**

unsurprising

 

**snake #2 (11:14):**

to be fair that is my favourite song

 

**snake #1 (11:14):**

no ur favourite songs nct dream we young

 

**Na Jaemin (11:14):**

who the fuck is nct dream

 

**snake #2 (11:14):**

only the most talented group in the universe with a lifetime supply of brilliant diverse genres of music and the dancing abilities of gods

 

**haechannie~~ (11:15):**

nevr heard of them

 

**Huang Renjun (11:15):**

me neither

 

**Na Jaemin (11:15):**

same

 

**Lee Jeno (11:15):**

same

 

**Na Jaemin (11:15):**

fuck

 

**Lee Jeno (11:15):**

shit

 

**Qian Kun (11:15):**

LOL

 

**worst worker bee (11:16):**

guys sorry but

bboom bboom is the ICON of 2018

nd u cant deny tht

 

 

 

**worst worker bee voted on the poll: VOTE FOR OUR THEME SONG NERDS**

1\. Now or Never - SF9  _haechannie~~, Na Jaemin_

1\. What Is Love? - TWICE  _snake #1, snake #2_

2\. Bboom Bboom - MOMOLAND  _worst worker bee_

Love Scenario - iKON

I'm So Sick - Apink

Blood, Sweat & Tears - BTS

 

**haechannie~~ (11:17):**

wait thts so right

 

**Qian Kun (11:17):**

oh fuck true

 

**big boi daddy (11:17):**

dang yea

 

**snake #1 (11:17):**

damn u not wrong

 

**Na Jaemin (11:17):**

shit u rite

 

**11 voted on the poll: VOTE FOR OUR THEME SONG NERDS**

1\. Bboom Bboom - MOMOLAND  _worst worker bee, haechannie~~, Qian Kun, big boi daddy, snake #1, Na Jaemin, snake #2, Lee Jeno, Kim Dongyoung, Lee Taeyong, Huang Renjun, DIEZ_

Now or Never - SF9

What Is Love? - TWICE

Love Scenario - iKON

I'm So Sick - Apink

Blood, Sweat & Tears - BTS

 

**Qian Kun (11:18):**

unanimous

 

**Huang Renjun (11:18):**

just isn't

 

**Qian Kun (11:18):**

unanimous ENOUGH

 

**big boi daddy (11:18):**

untrue

 

**Qian Kun (11:18):**

no shut up

Ive succeeded

we have a theme song

praise me

_(seen by 15)_

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 12:51_

"If we actually have to perform a choreography for Bboom Bboom for your relationship problems I'm going to report the group for harassment against my will." Renjun declared scrolling angrily through the groupchat again. Jeno thought it looked funny that he sipped on his drink with such ferocity, perhaps he planned on tearing the straw right from its hole.

It was around lunch but ever since he had begun to find it difficult to even look at Flyers anymore, he had forced Renjun to walk with him to a larger café on the other side of the campus every time. He was positive it didn't particularly bother the other boy but he always felt a bit guilty, especially since the food quality was considerably worse. "I doubt you'll all actually do it."

"Yuta is unpredictable and Kun managed that entire ordeal far too well," He squinted at his phone screen, it looked almost comical. Jeno had to bite back a laugh. "I don't make idle threats, I  _will_ have them reported."

"You should let them know that." Jeno mused, flicking through his own social media. A comfortable silence settled over them as they walked a steady pace toward the café - whose name he still didn't know. 

But every time he thought he was comfortable, he was fooled by his own mind. It took every opportunity of peace to shred into his conscious and remind him of everything he hated to think about. And recently, all those thoughts he hated were of a crush he had on a boy he barely knew. Why, why, why did the heart have to fall for people without even knowing them?

What good were a few interactions to determine how someone should  _feel_ about someone else? How dare it be up to nothing but the surface of a person's character to decide whether it should be friendship or more. He felt like he'd never experienced such a turmoil.

He had been so caught up in the flow of his thoughts that he hadn't noticed the subtle changes in his own expression, how his brows seemed to tighten and his eyes seemed to darken and his mouth seemed to bend downwards. But Renjun noticed. He always noticed.

And deciding right then and there that he no longer wanted to see his friend suffer, Renjun changed his final destination, knowing full well that Jeno would be too caught up in his terribly haunting thoughts that he wouldn't notice. 

He turned and turned, as minimally each time as possible just to be subtle. Until they were heading in the direction of Flyers. 

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 12:55_

Jaemin now walked with a certain degree of caution, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say he no longer walked with his former confidence. It was kind of like he wanted to disappear into the walls and stay there, and it was all  _Jisung's_ fault. 

But no, it wasn't. And Jaemin knew it wasn't. Because he knew it was  _all_ his fault. 

He felt like, maybe, just maybe, it shouldn't have been this way. Maybe, just maybe, he could've acted differently, reacted differently, seen the way he looked at Jeno differently. He did see things differently... now. He wasn't sure if that 'now' meant it was too late for a relationship that had existed so briefly.

After his 'talk' with Jisung, the only thing that hadn't left his mind was that he wasn't who he had thought he was, and how who he actually turned out to be didn't need to be defined as such. And that... maybe he was in the wrong. He hadn't know such a thing as  _internalized homophobia_ really existed and why should he when no one had ever taught him how he thought was wrong.

 _I'm so sorry_ , was all he could think. Who was he sorry to? Jeno? No, that didn't really seem to fit, though he felt guilty, he never thought it was to the extent of apologizing. Jisung? Not particularly. The rest of his friends? Not them either. Because despite everyone who had put up with him, he was mostly sorry to himself. Sorry to himself for not accepting that there didn't have to be a label on how he felt for someone, sorry to himself for not seeing what could've made him happy. There was never a life commitment involved and there likely would never be, so he was sorry to himself most of all for putting such stress on who he thought he had to be. 

There were no expectations that he should have to tether himself to.

In all his contemplating, he hadn't realized where he had ended up. He now stood - looking wholly lost - in front of the large glass doors to Flyers. 

And without thinking much about it, he pushed open the doors and hoped something would finally change in his life. Even if he had to be the one to change it this time.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 12:55_

He only registered where he actually was when the bells above the doors chimed to signal another entrance. For some reason he was drawn to that specific entrance and no other, and only when he saw Jaemin - standing in the door way in a hot pink top that went to his mid thighs and dark blue jeans covering the rest - did he realize that he was in Flyers. He was positive they had not been heading here.

Turning fast to where Renjun had been standing not five seconds ago was, apparently, futile, because he had vanished into thin air. Fantastic.

Slowly, he turned back to the doors. Jaemin hadn't moved an inch, he simply stared - almost blankly - at Jeno. Which meant that it was up to the latter to take action, he supposed. There was a faint memory in the back of his mind, it scratched gently at his anterior part of the brain.  _Yeah, I'll do that._

Having reached the front of the line he decided to go for it. The student standing behind the register looked extraordinarily irritated at the amount of time that Jeno had been standing there, furthermore, that annoyance seemed to grow every time Jeno opened his mouth then closed it again.

"I'll have one Hazelnut Mocha and," He looked at Jaemin who looked like he was on the verge of leaving. "One pumpkin spice latte." He thanked every deity that the staff was beefed up for the festive season and as such, his order was quickly completed in record time.

Taking a deep breath, Jeno made his way over to where the boy stood paralyzed. Reaching approximately a metre away, he decided it was far enough. All he did was stick his arm out and hope it was the correct drink. His brain wasn't functioning properly, all he could see was some beautiful boy standing before him and those beautiful eyes looking like they'd rather be anywhere else but right there. He couldn't blame him.

"I've never seen you here except for that one time... so I wasn't sure what you like to drink." Jeno felt his hand shake a bit, he wasn't sure why, this wasn't a life decision he was making. 

Though, he supposed, that's what made it so stressful. If he cared for someone and knew it then he wouldn't feel nervous because he would have his full faith in the other, but this was...  _new_.

He wasn't sure what he expected Jaemin to do. Or maybe the only thing he thought might happen was the other boy would knock the drink out of his hand and leave without a trace.  _Yeah, that seems most likely_ , but he stood his ground, not wanting to give up where he'd built up such a minimal amount of courage to be there in the first place.

Seconds, maybe  _minutes_ passed before something changed. That change came in the form of Jaemin reaching forward and carefully taking the cup from Jeno's hand. It was done so slowly that Jeno felt the other boy's hand shaking, mirroring his own. Not fear, just nervous.

It took another few seconds before he spoke. "Thank you," It came out as almost a whisper, but it was accompanied with a small smile. "It's my favourite." 

 _Oh shit he looks so cute, what the fuck what the fuckwhatthefuck_ , Jeno shook his head attempting to tear himself free of any distractions because right now what was important was the person standing in front of him. The  _real_ person standing in front of him.

"Oh thank god." He returned the smile as best he could. Another moment of silence where neither was sure what to do next. 

But moments of silence were his weakness, because a battalion of thoughts suddenly groped at the tethers of his thinking ability. And suddenly all he could think was  _I need to leave_. This was a mistake, a huge mistake, how could he confront something he'd been running from for too long.

Jeno opened his mouth, losing the war against his fear, he moved to step out of the doors. "I-"

A solid grip clenched his bicep. Shock must've filled his features because he looked up and saw Jaemin flinch, perhaps feeling bad about the suddenness of his move. "Wait," He began, still clutching the cup tightly with his free hand. "Don't go yet, please."

Jeno felt his fear retreat back to its hole. There was a certain... he wouldn't say 'longing' but maybe, desperation? A certain degree of desperation laced Na Jaemin's voice. That's all it took. Was he really that weak for him? "Okay."

Before he properly knew what was happening, he was slowly being pulled toward an empty table and _o_ _h damn, it's the table we were at last time._ His stomach twisted. Whether it was out of anxiety or anticipation, he didn't know. 

It took them a while to finally sit down, maybe it was because neither knew if it was okay for them to even do so. But why wouldn't it be? So Jeno went first, and simply hoped Jaemin would follow. To his relief, he did.

But if it was awkward before. That was nothing compared to the thickness of the air that now materialized between them. Jaemin seemed content with staring at the edge of the table while Jeno fiddled nervously with the end of his jumper strings. They were completely silent.

If Jeno looked around, he could see heads tilted back in laughter and giddy expressions as they told extravagant stories to their friends. And to him, it was like every student had dumped their exam concerns right in the middle of their table by the window and run off, all free and pleased with their lives. 

And it angered him enough that he should be the one to suffer over such a dumb ordeal that he finally opened his mouth.

"Jaemin, I like you." He watched carefully - ignoring faster pounding in his chest - as Jaemin's eyes widened, and it was only after they had completely widened that he tore his gaze away from the table to stare directly at him. Mouth agape. 

Jeno wasn't sure if he was breathing right now. It was difficult to predict what Jaemin would say but with the sheer amount of times he was opening and closing his mouth suggesting he was at a loss, Jeno wasn't sure it would be good for him. And it all returned again because  _I shouldn't have done this, what's the point of saying that only to get rejected?_

Correct answer: there was no point. Not to him, anyways. 

"You shouldn't... like... feel obligated to say that to me as well," He tentatively added, trying to keep the anxiety out of his tone. "I know everything everyone kept saying was a joke."

Still no reply. Suddenly, Jeno felt like he wasn't looking at a person anymore, he was face to face with another failure to be the person he wanted to be known as. Someone who could be friends with anyone and someone that people wanted to rely on because they trusted him to be accurate in his statements and findings. He just wanted to be there for more than just his closest friends, he wanted to be there for everyone who needed him or wanted him. 

And it seemed so clear to him now that Jaemin did not see him as either. 

"I'm sorry that I have a crush on you." Jeno whispered.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 12:58_

_"Jaemin, I like you."_

Four words. Literally four words was all it took for Jaemin's entire plan to crumble like a sand castle in a tropical storm. He couldn't even properly process it, let alone give a reply. He hadn't expected to come in here and be  _confessed_ to. 

What confused him the most was that he had been told dozens of times by dozens of different girls that they liked him, even in uni alone. So why was it so different this time? Why was it that four words - one of them being his name - were enough to knock the wind out of his stomach and change the diameter of his eyes? Why was it thathe had the miraculous effect of withering him into a stump of the personality he so carefully constructed? He barely knew the boy, so why why  _why_ did it seem like he knew no one would ever come this close to killing him with those four words again? 

No one but Lee Jeno. 

"You shouldn't... like... feel obligated to say that to me as well, I know everything everyone kept saying was a joke." Jaemin was only just aware of the fact that his jaw hung limp. 

A joke? Yeah, maybe it was a joke but there were always certain elements of truth to every joke. Every thought anyone ever had, no matter how ridiculous it sounded, stemmed from experience. 

This joke in particular happened to have a whole mountain of elements of truth. And it pained him to think that it took him so stupidly long to realize that. 

As for the obligation, he knew he had none to say the same. He knew that and yet, he  _wanted_ to say it back. Wanted to let Jeno hear him say it back. Because it was the truth.

Butbefore he could even get a word out -

"I'm sorry that I have a crush on you."

A whisper. So quiet. He said it so quietly. How a whisper could echo so violently loudly in his ears would forever be a mystery for him.

And even with everything he had said prior to this, it was that last sentence that shocked Jaemin beyond what he could express. 

Now he was looking at Jeno's features, not wanting to a miss a single detail of the slope of his nose and the curves of his eyes and the shape of his lips and the strength of his brows and the fluffiness of his hair and the length of his lashes. He was -

Beyond breathtakingly beautiful.

He recalled how he'd handed him a pumpkin spice latte without asking for anything in return. He recalled how he'd been working to get Donghyuck's name out of him for his best friend. He recalled how hard he'd worked to find a way to talk to Jaemin as often as he could. He recalled how wonderfully he laughed, how suddenly he stilled, how ruefully he avoided him. And after everything resurfaced he realized he  _did_ know Jeno, maybe not in the way Mark knew him or Jisung knew him, but in the way he himself knew him. And just because one knew someone, didn't mean they had to stop trying to know  _more_.

It was everything from the way he sounded so pained to the little quirks in his personality that made him want to scream and ask him why he would say something like that. It's not right that he should be apologizing. And it turns out, that was all he needed to fling himself back into reality.

"Why are you saying sorry?" He spoke softly, but there was no doubt in his own mind that Jeno knew how serious he meant it. Yet Jeno grimaced, only pushing Jaemin even further because having a mindset yelling at him saying he should  _apologize_ for having a crush on someone was ridiculous. "You shouldn't be saying sorry. You should never say sorry for liking someone," He sounded like he was pleading. Maybe he was. "You don't need forgiveness for that. Ever."

Jeno's eyes grew a bit but there was no real change. Because in the end, it wasn't what he needed to hear. It wasn't a response to the nagging question that hung between them like a hook with meat. 

"And I -" Jaemin began, but he cut himself off. Was he really about to admit this-  _yes._ _I will. I will. I will._ "And I like you, too, Jeno. I mean - uh - I like you back? No that sounds worse. I - uh..." He rambled, fumbling with his own words as he tried to form something that would save the situation. It wasn't working, he forgot the entire english language in less than four seconds. He felt a kind of small panic rise up his throat. He couldn't even  _confess to his crush_ right.

That is, until Jeno reached forward and placed his hand on top of where Jaemin's was strained painfully over the table's surface. "Just take a deep breath."

Jaemin did.

Clarity.

He tried again and this time... this time it would be right.

"I like you, Jeno. Not just I like you 'back', or I like you 'too', I just like you." 

Or maybe it wouldn't be as right as he thought.  _Damn, butchered it_ -

But no, he didn't, because in the blink of an eye there were two hands holding his, tightly, reassuringly, wonderfully warm and they fit Jaemin's so  _perfectly_ it didn't seem to make sense that someone should suit him like this. 

"I'm not really sure what we're supposed to do." Jeno winced but he didn't let go of his hands. Jaemin was relieved, he didn't think he'd survive if he just removed himself now.

"Let's just... go slow, okay?" Jaemin smiled. "We haven't hung out much, like ever, so... slow seems like a good fit?"

"Yeah, let's do that." Jeno nodded, it was full of conviction and it made Jaemin's heart swell that someone had decided to put an effort in a two-way relationship.  _Thank you_. 

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 14:08_

"I'm confused, so he  _hasn't_ said anything since then?" Kun furrowed his brows and Doyoung let out a long sigh. His friend was currently referring to Jaehyun who had very much ignored the entire situation after he'd showed up so wasted to their date.

"He definitely did not." Doyoung sighed and popped a chip into his mouth. 

He an Kun were sitting outside of the library - since no food was allowed inside, much to the dismay of thousands of students who needed snacks and study time simultaneously -  avoiding the fact that their exam week was closely inbound. Not that it mattered much, both their grades were more than fine and Doyoung knew that. He suspected his friend did, too.

Kun let out a long  _hmm_. "Well that sucks."

"Yeah, it does," Doyoung replied, it bothered him a lot that Jaehyun had done that, more than he'd like to admit out loud.

"Are you going to talk to him about it first, then?" Kun suddenly asked.

"What?" Doyoung scrunched his brows. "Why would I go to him first? He's the one that messed up, it wasn't me..." He trailed off, though, because wasn't he the one that always said two people were required for a relationship to properly work. It shouldn't just be up to one. "Oh."

"Well, no, Doyoung, I didn't mean it like you  _should_ , I meant it like," Kun thought for a moment. "Like maybe you  _could_?" 

Doyoung stared blankly at his friend. "What the fuck does that even mean." He didn't raise his voice at the end so it didn't particularly sound like a question.

Kun waved his hands around a bit, trying to show what he meant. Doyoung was not feeling it. "Okay, you know what? Never mind. Just ignore what I said and wait for him to talk to you first," Kun huffed. "Just saying, though, if he fucked up that badly he might decide not to talk to your for a while -"

A ding sounded from Doyoung's phone. "Oh, hold up, Kun, Jaehyun just disproved your last point."

 

❈✭❈

 

**Private Chat: Sunday**

Jung Yoonoh, Kim Dongyoung

 

**< 3Jaehyun<3 (14:09):**

hey u might ignore this message but i rly hope u dont bc 

ok well i cant properly explain y so

if u wanna

(but u dont hv to)

ill be in the theatre back room fr another 2 hrs i guess u can choose if u come or not

i wont be mad if u dont

 

**Doyoung~ <3 (14:10):**

are you going to be drunk

 

**< 3Jaehyun<3 (14:10):**

no i promise

 

**Doyoung~ <3 (14:12):**

then I'll come

 

**< 3Jaehyun<3 (14:12):**

o fuck thank god

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 14:12_

"I'm leaving, Kun." Doyoung simply said as he packed his items into his bag which he planned to unceremoniously leave right outside the building hoping no one would steal it.

His friend didn't even look up from his own phone. "Yeah, thought so, bye." He waved his hand signaling Doyoung to move faster. Ah, what wonderful friends they were.

He took off, he was only mildly running. Only kind of moving fast because he was only maybe a little bit desperate to get there. It was already obvious enough that they liked each other, Doyoung wasn't blind and he wasn't Jaemin or Jeno so he could easily see that. Why wouldn't he give Jaehyun another chance? How were people expected to change if they weren't given the chance from the other.

A relationship couldn't be one-sided.

If he was being honest, he was slightly nervous, more than he thought he'd be. Maybe it was because he liked Jaehyun more than he'd expected he would. Though that was subjective...

Reaching the place they were meeting was the easy part, the only hard part was forcing himself to lower his hand and actually  _touch_ the doorknob. He just let his hand kind of hang there, hovering over it. Would he change his mind? No, he wouldn't. Would he leave? No, he wouldn't. So why was he there, hesitating.

Because it was human nature to hesitate.

Until it becomes human nature to follow through. Doyoung gently turned the knob and pushed the door open, just a bit. Unfortunately for him, it was mostly dark, there was a light coming from some unknown source he couldn't see at the angle he'd opened it. So he pushed it open further. And further. And further until - 

Oh. Those were candles. Oh. That was a table. Oh. That was Jaehyun, standing over the table decked with... food? 

Jaehyun produced what was apparently a very awkward looking smile. He scratched behind his ear nervously. "I know it's kinda cheesy," Doyoung wanted to laugh,  _kinda?_ it looked straight out of an advertisement for Paris. He'd even bought the expensive candles, nobody touched those candles in their resident convenience store unless they had money. Which no university students every did. "But I wanted to... get it right this time."

He said it was such determination that it snapped Doyoung out of his train of thought, he realized he was still standing weirdly in the doorway so he stepped inside and closed it behind him. "I kind of got the feeling you might want to."

"You're not surprised?" Jaehyun asked. Though he didn't seem very surprised either.

"Not really." And it was true, he hadn't been shocked because the fact was that he knew most people who were kind hearted and cared about the feelings of others would always do what they could to make it up to someone they'd hurt. Doyoung always knew Jaehyun was a kind person, so why wouldn't he react this way? "But it's still really nice. Thank you."

Jaehyun smiled at this, and it wasn't as awkward or out of place. He seemed genuine, Doyoung was glad. "So then, would you care to join me for this very-natural-not-at-all-traumatizing-for-my-wallet dinner?" 

"It's lunch time but yeah, I would." Doyoung grinned.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 16:01_

Mark was an honest guy. He never exactly prided himself on that but that didn't mean he hated it about himself. 

Until about three seconds ago where he checked his phone for the eighteenth time in the last minute to still only have one notification about some  _Promotion! Skirts, blouses, and handbags_ that were being 'recommended' to him by the online shopping app he'd downloaded and had to admit to himself that he was waiting for another notification. From someone specific

"Can you stop looking at your phone? I'm here." Dana pouted and Mark had to literally refrain himself from rolling his eyes. 

Haechan, despite making a grand proclamation in the groupchat yesterday that everyone should be fixing their problems today, had yet to write to Mark. In what way was that  _fixing_ anything? He tried not to let his disappointment show too much at the nineteenth check without anything new.

"Hello-o-o, Mark! Babe!" He tried not to gag at the pet name. Here was another honest thing he had been thinking a lot about lately.

He was kind of completely done with Dana.

Everything he once found interesting about her was now annoying and though he knew he'd been thinking this for a while... he knew his willingness to be more open about his opinions on her was as a result of finding out Haechan had a crush on him.

He smiled at the thought. Now  _that_ was a reaction someone should have for the person they liked. 

One thing he wasn't completely sure about was how he was going to break it to his current girlfriend that he'd much rather not have a girlfriend altogether anymore. The problem wasn't that he was trying to break up with her - no, no, no, he'd done that  _seventeen and a half minutes ago_ \- the problem was getting her to accept that.

"Dana, please," Mark finally put his phone in his pocket, deciding to deal with this straight on. "I know you're hurt by this but I don't want you to be unhappy because of me, and at the same time I don't think I'm happy being with you romantically, anymore." Honesty, what a pain it was to excel at it.

"And I said no. No, Mark, you are not breaking up with me," She scowled. "A breakup has to be mutual and I don't agree to this."

"That's not how it works," Mark pleaded, finding he sounded only desperate and exhausted by the conversation. It was another reason he was ending it: he didn't feel anything for her anymore. "I want to focus on other things and -"

"What 'other things', Mark?" She narrowed her eyes. It made her look like a panther circling its prey. "Is there another girl? Are you seriously dumping me for another girl?" She was almost yelling, now so Mark took it upon himself to wave her down. "No! You don't get to calm me down right now! How  _dare_ you drop me for another chic! I hope she's ugly and makes you unhappy for the rest of your life -"

He was fed up. "It's not a  _girl_ , Dana!" He slammed his hands down on the table and immediately regretted it because his palms lit up in pain and he winced, breaking whatever façade he had been holding in place. "Ouch." Was all he could say as he inspected the damage dealt to his hands.

Silence. "What the fuck do you mean it's not a  _girl_?" 

Mark's eyebrows shot up, having completely forgotten he had actually said that out loud. He let his - thankfully, uninjured - palms rest back on the table. But once again, honesty. "It's a boy."

Silence. 

Silence.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She bolted out of her seat incredulously. "You didn't tell me you were fucking gay?"

"I'm not 'gay', I just like this other boy." He tried to explain calmly. 

"That's gay!" 

"Okay, maybe it's a gay thing to like another boy but I think it's kind of reductionist of you to use that term -"

"Why didn't you tell me?!" She wailed and it kind of hit Mark that she wasn't even mad, she was just disappointed that she didn't know. That was the only reason he wasn't mad. 

"I didn't know, either, until like... yesterday." The memory etched into his mind like a brand, it wasn't pleasant to recall. He hated being the blind fool he knew he could be when it came to things like this.

She returned back to her seat. "Mark," Her tone suddenly grew serious. "You know I'm not mad at you, right?"

Now this,  _this_ was the Dana that he had found so interesting to begin with. The Dana that knew she could be so over-the-top but was aware of everything she did and could reign it in when she needed. 

"Yeah, I know." He said it confidently.

"Good." She said, and it must've seemed to her that that was a good final word because she slung her back over her shoulder and walked off without looking back once and he let himself breathe.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 18:32_

Jungwoo scowled slightly at the mess of boxes before him. Doyoung had decided he would be doing some spring cleaning in his dorm room. 

In the winter. 

Which of course meant, since he was too stressed with actual work, Jungwoo took it upon himself to assist his friend in removing the extra stuff laying everywhere. This mostly consisted of old textbooks of classes he had dropped during his "I'm still deciding what I want to be" phase that had lasted almost the entire half year they could still switch majors. It had given everyone a headache, especially Taeyong who Jungwoo was pretty sure had grown a few grey hairs.

Jungwoo bent down and picked up the third box with a light  _oof_ , they were extraordinarily heavy and he was sure he'd have back pains for hours after this was done. He didn't have to carry them far - just down the hallway to the recycling distributor - but it was still a pain, and it didn't help that he had been living such a poor lifestyle until just yesterday. 

It wasn't that he'd "come to his senses", because, in fact, it was justifiable to him that he had broken down. The person he loved and looked out for the most in his life had shoved a knife into his heart and twisted it. What he  _did_ feel bad for was that his friends had suffered so much on his behalf. A lot had fallen apart while he was gone and he didn't even know where to begin helping. 

His mind almost immediately went to Doyoung, Taeil, and Donghyuck who were quite possibly the people he owed most in his life right now. He wasn't quite sure how to repay Taeil or Donghyuck yet but he hoped that doing Doyoung's not-so-spring cleaning for him would act as a kind of offering. 

Aware that he was dragging his feet along the ground, he couldn't help but wonder if it was a lingering side effect of his recent depressive episodes, that maybe he was fooling himself into thinking he was okay. 

But he wasn't okay. Or, at least, he wasn't fully so. He doubted he'd be fine for a while especially if neither he nor Lucas would do anything about it. Concern still filled his veins despite what had come between them, he wondered how he was doing now. If he was okay. More okay than Jungwoo? Maybe. 

Most of all, he wanted his best friend back. Nothing felt quite as sweet to him anymore even if he was up on his feet and a conscious being once again. Breathing made one exist, happiness made one live. There wasn't much more too it.

Finally having set down the box in the recycling distributer, he made his way back toward Doyoung's room, careful to make long loops around the windows that people hadn't closed properly in the  _dead_ of winter. 

Such a loop was the reason he came around the corner to Doyoung's dorm at an angle, making him unaware of the person that stood right outside, scratching his head and trying to figure out if he should knock or just walk in.

And when the person - the  _stranger_ \- finally did turn. Jungwoo couldn't help but stop dead in his tracks and let his mouth fall open. "Oh." He managed.

So, yeah, Lucas was there. Standing in front of his - not his, Doyoung's - door.

"Oh, you're not inside." Lucas said sounding dumbfounded which Jungwoo found a little inappropriate considering that was the first thing he'd said to him in over a week.

"I'm... not." Scratch that, Jungwoo had found the dumbest response.

There was nothing for a couple seconds. Or it could've been minutes, hours, months, years, centuries - Jungwoo didn't  _know_. He couldn't know because all that he could think was that the person who had murdered him was now standing in front of him and it shouldn't have been possible. Was he in heaven? No, but, murderers didn't go to heaven. 

That thought brought a touch of anger to his mind but what it brought most of all was sadness. It was like he was being dropped all over again and everything he had felt that night was crawling back under his skin and shredding the capillaries that gave him life. 

Why would he come here?

Lucas tried to answer Jungwoo's silent question. "Hi, Jungwoo," He sounded nervous - God, he  _hoped_ he was nervous. Jungwoo watched his best friend start to pull at his nails. "It's good to see you," Definitely nervous.  _Good_ , he thought. Lucas lifted his fingers to his mouth and Jungwoo knew where that was going.

"Don't bite your nails, you'll damage the skin around it." He said automatically, without even needing to think about it but it made him wince. He didn't want to have said that, he wanted to remain stoic and strong but instead, he was going back to how he always acted around Lucas. Refraining from showing any other signs of responsiveness, he settled back into his timid observatory state.

Lucas - much to Jungwoo's unwanted relief - put his hand back down almost immediately and clenched it at his side. "Um... I actually came by..." He started again. "I came by because..."

"You wanted to apologize?" Jungwoo finished for him, and he wasn't sure where this confidence had suddenly come from. It was probably due to the fact that this was Lucas and not literally anyone else but that only made him feel weaker. 

"Yeah. I'm sorry." Lucas said, and it sounded final. Like he was done with his sentence. Like he was done with his apology.

And suddenly, the apology itself wasn't enough anymore. Jungwoo didn't know why he thought it would've been because it  _wasn't_. He knew Lucas like he knew his own brother and that meant that he knew his apology was sincere.

But sincerity didn't make it enough. 

"That's it?" Jungwoo said, he found there was a lack of ice in his tone as he'd expected there to be. It just came out as tired. "That's all you're going to say?"

"Jungwoo, you-"

"No, no, no," Jungwoo shook his head. "There's no "Jungwoo, you". That's not how you start an apology, let alone an apology to  _me_." He didn't move forward, he stayed a good two metres away from the other boy. "Lucas, I'm sorry. There, that's how you start an apology. Want to know how to continue it? I didn't take into enough consideration the consequences of me telling you about what I thought about Jackie, and I'm so, so sorry for that. How do you move from there? I thought I was doing the right thing by telling you but I can see now that it wasn't what I should've done, and I've damaged our friendship as a result of that. And for the ending? I hope you can forgive me, Lucas, I really miss you and I love you and I want you to be happy. I hope you can still be happy and I hope you can do so with me still as your best friend." He chocked on the last two words. A burning sensation crawling up his throat and into his tear glands, refusing to let them switch off. "I'm so sorry I fucked up." He hated swearing but it seemed appropriate for them.

Lucas blinked a few times. Then a lot of times. And then Jungwoo could see the tears coming from his eyes too, rushing down his face like streams finding their way to the ocean. 

He watched his best friend take a deep breath and -

"Jungwoo, I'm sorry. I didn't take into enough consideration the consequences of me yelling at you for wanting nothing more than for me to be happy and safe, I'm so, so sorry for that. I never thought I was doing the right thing by saying those things to you but I did it anyway because I was confused and angry, I saw then and I can see now that it wasn't what I should've done, and I've damaged our friendship as a result of that. I hope you can forgive me, Jungwoo, I really miss you and I love you and I want you to be happy. And I hope that you can be happy as my best friend. Hopefully, forever, please. I'm so sorry I fucked up." He added with a grin and it was all it took for Jungwoo to come forward and hug him so tightly and pull him as close as he could. 

Because it was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: originally, my plan was to post a chapter every 2 days
> 
> HhaHAHhahHa 
> 
> I'm such a joke at consistency  
> ________________________________
> 
> ^^^ I WROTE THIS ABOVE STUFF ON AUGUST 3RD OMG IM SO BAD AT THIS  
> university never gonna accept me (Written: August 26th (reminding myself to be stressed about posting another chapter))
> 
> ________________________________
> 
> omFG YOU'RE SO BAD @ME (Written: August 29th)
> 
> Okay, I'm going to post this today, I'm going to post this today, I have an english essay to write but I refuse to postpone this any longer. I refuse to leave my readers in a drought for more than a monTH !!!!!
> 
> ________________________________
> 
> and finally  
> after everything I tell myself  
> after everything I write to myself  
> I post in  
> September
> 
> leaving my readers in a drought  
> for more than  
> a whole entire  
> long lived  
> painful month
> 
> I hate myself.
> 
> [September 5th 2018 - Me, finally publishing this chapter]
> 
> I'm trying to use it more so: [follow me on twitter!!](http://twitter.com/wired_roses)  
> 


	11. Can I Tell You Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the final chapter, y'all [I never do starting notes, wow]
> 
> but I just wanted to say that this chapter is mostly Markhyuck-centric with a large side of Taeten and smoler sides of Nomin and Dojae ! 
> 
> My end notes are way more interesting than this lmao have fun

_Sunday 16:47_

He was a lucky guy. Or so Mark told himself for the first time in two days the moment he found the person he'd been searching for in the second place he looked. With his phone dying ages ago, it could've taken hours with the sheer size of the campus but he'd been smart to go to Flyers' right after checking their dorm rather than looking in the Biology lounge as he'd originally planned to do. He felt very blessed that he'd trusted his instinct on this one.

Though walking into the café itself and seeing Jeno in front of him, Mark rethought his statement about luck after all. Because, well, though he'd found who he'd been looking for, he hadn't exactly wanted - nor  _expected_ \- to see Jeno's legs entangled with Jaemin's beneath the window table they were sitting at. He took one look at the pair and winced. 

He should've known they'd be a gross PDA type couple, even if they were being subtle right now, something tugged at him telling him it wouldn't take that long.

Unfortunately, he really needed his best friend right now, even if - despite his previous wincing - it bothered him a lot that he'd be disrupting their... he wasn't sure what he was supposed to be calling their 'gathering' of sorts.

Taking a deep breath, he took a few strides and reached the side of their table. Almost immediately and in  _synch_ , they looked up from their own devices - he had, in fact, noticed they were not even talking, just sitting together. For a moment, Mark thought they'd see him, blanch, and make an excuse about why they were together, as they did not two weeks before. Instead, he was met with the surprising reassurance of two blank stares, neither making any move to disentangle themselves and to his  _very_ immense shock, no blanching occured. 

Which basically confirmed what he'd already suspected the moment he'd seen them: dating.

Unfortunately, for him, he needed to speak to Jeno  _alone_ right now, and that wasn't going to happen if a third party was involved - unless he himself was the third party now. 

He must've been staring for a second too long because Jaemin raised en eyebrow. "Yes?" 

"Oh! Uh..." Mark shook his head to clear it. Breaking free from Jaemin's stare he pointed at Jeno. "I need him, for a moment."

Jeno cocked his head. "For what?" The way he stayed in his seat suggested to Mark that he had no immediate desire nor intention to move for his best friend.  _Note to self: find new best friend_ , Mark thought, though he may have said it loudly because Jaemin let out a snicker and Jeno attempted to untangle their legs - probably to kick his... boyfriend? - but the former didn't let him budge. 

"It's kind of... just for you to hear..." He gave Jaemin an apologetic look. 

Jaemin rolled his eyes, perfectly, he had to admit, before nudging aside Jeno's legs and getting up. "Fine," He threw his hands up into the air in mild frustration. "I see where I'm not wanted."

It took  _literally_ less than a second for Jeno to reply with "I want you." and Mark almost gagged. 

However, it seemed to have worked because Jaemin's expression visibly softened into one of blatant affection and Mark was beginning to regret approaching them in the first place. High's off crushes and relationships were psychologically proven to last for no more than a year but that year couldn't come soon enough to him. Of course,  _of course_ they'd be the type of lovey dovey relationship that made every other couple feel like they aren't feeling each other enough. 

"So, yeah, what was the topic that you needed to discuss?" Jeno asked, again. Mark didn't want to say the name of the person, so he opted for some light eye signalling, trying to get the message across without having to verbalize it. And of course, to the holy luck he received from the deity looking out for him, Jeno completely failed to get the message. "Is this about Haechan?"

Mark wanted to die, and it seemed that Jaemin didn't want much different because right when Jeno asked that, he paused halfway from sitting down again. He looked a little awkward now. 

"Yeah." Mark was forced to respond with because, well, honesty. 

And Jaemin shot up, rigid, legs straightened out fully.  _What the fuck-_ , Jeno seemed to think the same thing because gave him a weird look. "Well, this sounds really important and all that so I guess I'll get out of your way, call me later, though, Jeno -" Jaemin rambled and turned to leave waving a hand over his shoulder.

It was then when Mark noted a very incredible change in Jeno's features because all of a sudden his brows shot up and he lunged forward to grab ahold of Jaemin's wrist and spin him back around. And again,  _what the fuck_. 

"Uh - I don't think that's how you treat your boyfr-" Mark was cut off, but indirectly.

"Nope, you're not leaving," Jeno narrowed his eyes at the boy he was holding onto tightly. At first, Mark was concerned, but that worry disintegrated the moment his best friend turned back around with eyes that lusted after a goal. And it seemed Mark was far better at understanding messages transmitted through gazes because he immediately understood and  _oh god..._ "I need something from you." There was a whisper of a smile on his lips, not quite big enough yet to turn his eyes into half moons.

Jaemin noticeably gulped, as though he knew what he was going to be asked. "Um... I should -"

"What's Haechan's real name?" Jeno asked, cutting him off in a sweet, sweet tone. 

And maybe he could've intervened but there was suddenly something captivating about the exchange, so Mark remained silent, simply watching the two. 

"I can't tell you that." It came out quite definitively. 

Jeno tilted his head, slightly. "Are you sure you can't tell me?" Mark noted his voice had deepened just a touch. 

"I really..." Jaemin bit his lower lip. "Shouldn't..." A fraction of weakness potentially existed in that. 

Mark didn't know where his friend had found an ability to operationalize moments of weakness but Jeno took that moment to tug his - definitely - boyfriend an inch closer to where he was standing. "Why would you need to keep something like that a secret, though?" 

Jaemin's inner turmoil was so ridiculously blatant. It hadn't even been more than a minute since Jeno had begun this and the other boy was already a mess. That was power. 

"I made a promise..." Jaemin murmured, quickly flicking his gaze to the ground.

Big, big, big mistake. The moment he'd done it, Mark had already known what would happen next, and how easily Jeno could now take full control.

And he did.

By lifting his hand, placing his fingers in a gentle hold on Jaemin's chin, and tilting his head up until he was forced to look back at him. But he didn't let go. And now Mark could see how easily his eyes were wavering and focusing on nothing but his boyfriend. He kind of felt like he was trespassing on something private.

Jeno leaned in approximately three centimetres and if Mark could feel the thickness of the air where he was standing, he couldn't imagine how absolutely crushed Jaemin was feeling right now. "Jaemin," Jeno began, his voice still lower than normal and Jaemin looked so  _snared,_ it probably wouldn't take more than another word before he broke, if Jeno chose the word right - "Nana?" Definitely the right word.

And damn if Mark couldn't see the way Jaemin's knees gave out, having very successfully been reduced to a panicked gay in that moment. "Holy shit, okay, okay his name's Donghyuck, Lee Donghyuck." He blurted out. 

Jeno smiled then, really widely, letting that famous eye smile shine through. He took a step back but didn't let the other boy go, instead, he pulled him until Jaemin was basically collapsed against Jeno's side, head in the crook of his neck. "See, told you I could get it," Jeno said through his smile.

Jaemin, very obviously disappointed that he'd been broken, was pouting and looking at the ground. But he didn't remove himself from Jeno's side so there was clearly no anger. "Dammit." He whispered and Jeno laughed.

Mark grinned, in a much better mood. "You guys are still gross, but thanks." He turned and left the two still there, still attached. And he recited the name in his head, hoping he'd never forget it.  _Lee Donghyuck, Lee Donghyuck, Lee Donghyuck_. 

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 17:10_

Donghyuck had discovered there was one big problem with ignoring Mark Lee: he still had two final pieces of work to submit and  _both_ are with him. 

He didn't really go to the library anymore, not for the past day or so anyways, because he was worried that he'd see Mark there. Instead, he'd rented out a music studio to sit in and study for the next few hours. 

Luckily for him he'd received one of the rooms on the right side of the hallway, which meant it had a different layout to those on the other side that he and Mark had shared before he -

Wincing, he tried to shove the memory back to where it came from, hoping, hoping, hoping it was enough to keep it at bay. He hadn't wanted to create such a mess but in the end, he'd cared more about helping Jungwoo than helping Mark. 

And even though Donghyuck would make the same decision a thousand times again, it still hurt to be lashed out at, and it hurt even more to be so obviously rejected. There was  _disgust_ on Mark's face, behind the pity and guilt, there was disgust. That's, perhaps, what hurt most of all. 

The grand proclamation about fixing social problems was still something he was striving for but it was much more difficult than he'd anticipated. Not the actual fixing part - he wasn't even close to that yet - it was more the... emotionally-getting-ready bit that stopped him from doing anything. 

Actions may speak louder than words, but only words left scars hanging in the air, bleeding into people's personal space until they can't handle the weight of their own bubbles.

He was in the middle of experiencing one of those bubble bleeding segments when his phone let off a loud chime. 

 

❈✭❈

 

**Private Chat: Sunday**

Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck

 

**nana (17:12):**

hyuck

 

**hyuck (17:12):**

wat ??

 

**nana (17:13):**

im so sorry

 

**hyuck (17:13):**

the fuk

for wat

 

**nana (17:13):**

im weak and whipped

 

**hyuck (17:13):**

wtf did u do

 

**nana (17:14):**

he used nana

 

**hyuck (17:14):**

??

wait

HOLY FUCK U DIDNT

TELL ME U DIDNT

 

**nana renamed "nana" to "jaeminnie"**

 

**hyuck (17:14):**

JAEMIN NO

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 16:55_

Mark's first thought as he entered the music department's hallway was:  _Jaemin has 100% told him that I know his real name now_. What he was counting on was that the latter hadn't known where Mark would be looking and, therefore, surprising him when he finally  _did_ find him. 

In the times he'd been speaking with Haechan - oh, no -  _Donghyuck_ , Mark had made a few assumptions about the things and places he'd love most in the school. One of the top contenders were the music rooms.

He stepped into the hallway and wove his way through the few students on their way out. In this moment, he hated that there were dozens upon dozens of practice rooms and that he'd have to look on both sides of the hall. Sighing, he began.

Much to his disdain, there were several rooms whose windows were half or almost fully blocked by a black sheet of paper or a curtain - this was supposed to keep the privacy of students who'd booked the rooms but right now, it was a nuisance. Which means it took extra time and occassionally, extra courage to knock on the door and peer into the rooms. 

He'd had a beautiful total of two glares, three curious gazes, and four "what the fuck"'s before he reached the second half of the rooms. Though he'd originally planned to search through them all, he wasn't sure if his introvert-ness would let that happen, especially if he'd have to continue opening doors. Gazing down the long hallway, where another few dozen rooms stretched, he wasn't feeling it.

Perhaps, the music rooms hadn't been the right place to look, after all.

Pursing his lips he spun on his heel and moved to walk out but he almost tripped over his own foot when he a familiar head of hair out of the corner of his eye, in the room he was about to skip. He quickly flung back and stared into the -  _open_ windowed - room, blinking to make sure nothing would disappear.

He didn't.

Not really sure what would've happened if he had knocked, he just decided to walk in. So he reached forward, pushed down the handle and opened the heavy-sound proof doors.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 17:15_

Donghyuck froze as the door clicked and was dragged open, painfully slowly, like the person on the other side was far too unsure about their entrance. Maybe, had Jaemin not messaged him literally seconds before, he would've been more shocked. Alas, he wasn't.

And he found that all the stress that came when Mark Lee slipped into his practice room was nothing compared to the relief that overcame him. 

It didn't mean there was a chance, it just meant that there wasn't a problem between them that would last any longer. Donghyuck was good at holding grudges, but he was kind of weak when it came to Mark Lee, and he knew so very well why that was.  

He lingered in the doorway for a moment, hesitant to enter, likely worried that Donghyuck would kick him out or tell him to  _fuck off_. But Mark didn't deserve that, so Donghyuck wouldn't say that. 

He didn't want him to leave. 

"Hi." Donghyuck started, taking initiative when the silence lasted quite long. Mark immediately looked more nervous, maybe at the lack of anger in his tone. Or maybe because he detected the little fraction of hurt that he tried - and failed - not to expose. 

"Hi." He responded, an awkwardness taking hold of the atmosphere in the fading word's wake. 

Since Mark had come to him first, he kind of felt like he didn't have control of the situation, like maybe it was all up to Mark to do this. And that's exactly what he would've said had it been anyone else or any other situation.

But it wasn't, and there was no way a relationship could thrive, let alone survive, if there was no push from all sides. So he patted the space next on the piano bench next to him. A passing gift. 

He was extremely glad when Mark accepted it, moving over to sit - though, very tentatively - next to him. 

Donghyuck glanced at him for a moment, not really sure how to move forward from here. So he looked at Mark then at the piano, then back at Mark - who was now avoiding his gaze, seemingly at the same loss as he was - then at the piano.

Then he lifted his hands, long sleeves falling back from his fingers. And Donghyuck played. 

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 17:16_

Mark learned within fifteen seconds that Donghyuck played the piano more beautifully than anything he'd properly heard before. Sure, he'd listened to some classical music in his life, but there was never an instance in his life where someone had played the instrument in front of him - and blown him into the clouds above. 

The melody dispersed the awkwardness that had been suffocating the room. It was an unfamiliar song, Mark wasn't sure if it was his own piece or if it was historical, but that was, maybe, the last thing on his mind right about now. He shoved the analytical musician in him aside because that's  _not_ what he was here for.

He was here for Donghyuck.

"I hope you'll forgive me for reacting the way I did," He finally decided to start with. He spoke over the music, but not in a way that contradicted the tune - it seemed to fit well with his playing. "I was shocked, I know that's not an excuse, but it's the truth."

Donghyuck didn't look up, he just continued playing. Letting the music fill the space where Mark's words couldn't. But Mark knew he was listening.

"The only thing that  _did_ shock me was how I reacted," He couldn't help but notice the way he spoke sounded almost like lyrics to a melody he'd never heard before. "I hate hurting people and I know that should be a universal feeling, but it's not. And I hate it."

He paused for a moment, and by some miracle magic he spoke right in perfect harmony to the song: "But I don't hate you." And in a kind of whisper he added, "Not at all, not even close."

This marked the moment Donghyuck made the first noise beyond the piano - a small gasp. And, maybe, if Mark squinted close enough... he'd see a hint of a ghost of a whisper of a smile. And it would be extraordinary.  _Just like you_. 

"I never saw myself as gay or someone who could like a guy," He noted that Donghyuck bit his lip. "But I think... you're someone that I  _do_ like."

And if there was a stutter in the way that Donghyuck was playing, he covered it up almost flawlessly. The heart of a true pianist shone through his hands. 

"I mean that beyond a platonic feeling." Was his final addition. 

The melody continued, unwavering, strong-souled, and grounded - and he realized beauty came from more than just the lyrics of a song or it's tune, it came from the clarity of the pianist and his love as it echoed through every note he played. He  _felt_ it.

Only after a minute of continuous song did another set of lyrics come into play. This time from a voice that could captivate an audience with the sheer uniqueness of it. 

Donghyuck spoke. "Are you sure?" It was melodic, even if it wasn't being sung.

"I'm sure." No fluctuations in his thoughts.

"You're not saying this just because you know how I feel about you?"

"I'm not."

Donghyuck let out a shaky sigh. "Then you don't need to say sorry."

"No, I definitely should say sorry." 

But he shook his head. "Not for what you did say sorry for, though. For not understanding what I was doing, maybe, but even then, you couldn't have known," A pause in his speaking. "But for reacting the way you did? There was nothing wrong about that."

Mark blinked once, at a kind of loss for words. Until he smiled. "Thank you, Donghyuck."

Donghyuck snorted. "I knew Jaemin snaked." The playing didn't cease but Mark did laugh lightly along. Letting the music end the moment in a way that made sense to both of them.

"Thank you, Mark Lee." He whispered.

 

❈✭❈

 

**QUITTERS ARE LOSERS**

18 members

 

**Qian Kun (19:08):**

do you guys smell that

 

**worst worker bee (19:08):**

this is a group chat.

 

**Qian Kun (19:09):**

shut up

I said

DO YOU GUYS SMELL THAT

 

**snake #1 (19:09):**

NO

 

**Qian Kun (19:09):**

SMELLS LIKE SUCCESS

I WILL BE GOING ON A RENAMING SPREE

 

**big boi daddy (19:09):**

pls dont

 

**Qian Kun renamed "Qian Kun" to "king of nicknames"**

 

**Na Jaemin (19:09):**

wat the fcuk

 

**Huang Renjun (19:09):**

no

 

**doyoung (19:09):**

kun im literally begging you to not

 

**king of nicknames renamed "Na Jaemin" to "weak and whipped"**

 

**weak and whipped (19:10):**

HYUCK U LOSER DID U SNAKE ON ME

 

**Lee Jeno (19:10):**

i personally like the rename

ty kun

 

**haechannie~~ (19:10):**

U SNAKED ON ME FIRST

 

**weak and whipped (19:10):**

SHUT UP JENO

SHUT UP HYUCK

 

**Lee Jeno (19:10):**

o

 

**weak and whipped (19:10):**

waIT NO

 

**jaehyun (19:10):**

AJAJJAJAJjaJAJAAHAHAHHAHAHA

THTS AT LEAST 4 Ls

 

**king of nicknames renamed "Lee Jeno" to "wont take it slow"**

 

**wont take it slow (19:10):**

(FEUHIODJAEKLJDKLAEJDKLE

 

**weak and whipped (19:10):**

STFU KUN

 

**Wong Yukhei (19:10):**

LOL BYE JNEO

 

**Kim Jungwoo (19:11):**

*Jeno

 

**Moon Taeil (19:11):**

I see you're on good terms again

 

**Wong Yukhei (19:11):**

yeet

 

**worst worker bee (19:11):**

^^^^ jungwoo unfriend him again

no yeets in this groupchat

 

**king of nicknames renamed "jaehyun" to "doJAE"**

**king of nicknames renamed "doyoung" to "DOjae"**

 

**snake #1 (19:12):**

lol get it

cuz ur doing jaehyun

 

**Lee Taeyong (19:12):**

i had a genuine heart attack that you just sent that jisung

 

**doJAE (19:12):**

pretty normal

#accept

 

**DOjae (19:12):**

oh boy

 

**king of nicknames renamed "haechannie~~" to "finally hyuck"**

 

**weak and whipped (19:12):**

_@finally hyuck_ maybe u shud b thnking me instead

 

**finally hyuck (19:12):**

i think the fuck not u premature cactus

 

**weak and whipped (19:12):**

EXCUSE ME WAT

 

**big boi daddy (19:12):**

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

 

**king of nicknames renamed "OUT OF THE LOOP" to "finally looped"**

 

**worst worker bee (19:12):**

dude ur nicknames r propr trash

 

**king of nicknames (19:12):**

shut up

im done

 

**finally hyuck (19:13):**

thnks it was terrible

 

**DOjae (19:13):**

wait what about taeten

arent they performing today

 

**big boi daddy (19:13);**

oh shit

_(seen by 17)_

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 20:38_

He and Ten were going to be performing for a wide audience in precisely twelve minutes and it was and understatement to say that Taeyong was nervous. 

Logically speaking, he knew how he'd feel when he finally got to the stage and was dancing, he would be relaxed, enjoying himself. The problem lay with the build up to that point. It was more than just time ticking by, it was his stress as it slowly accumulated and moved through his bloodstream like a pathogen. He hated it.

What made it worse was  _who_ he was performing with. Though he had no regrets, that didn't mean he wasn't stressed about the fact that he'd have to perform with him. He hated making mistakes, let alone mistakes in front of the top dancer in their year - or to him, the best dancer he'd ever seen. 

"Taeyong," He snapped up and went rigid the moment a hand touched his lower back. Ten made no move to remove it and Taeyong tried to will himself to relax. "We're going to do great, don't worry."

But he couldn't just switch off his worry. How was that possible?

Ten must've sensed that exact thought, too, because he walked around so he was standing in front of Taeyong, instead. "You're overthinking it, right now," His eyebrows were arched to look genuinely concerned. "I know you, I know your dancing. You love it. The only reason you're stressed right now is because you're currently  _not_ doing it."

Taeyong managed a nod. 

"Don't put so much pressure on yourself," Ten continued. "You're amazing."

A tingle went up Taeyong's spine and it messed with his thoughts. Being so close to the actual performance, however, put a strain on his ability to tether those unnecessary thoughts to the back of his mind where he could forget them in peace. So they invaded him, instead.

Which is why - and he felt as though he may regret it later - he welcomed the compliment, waves of blushes rising up his cheeks until he was sure even the dark of behind the stage couldn't hide how red he was. 

"I'm okay, you're the real amazing one." He murmured, trying to suppress the heat in his face. 

He missed the way Ten's eyes grew wider with affection and how he took a deep breath to calm the hammering of his heart.

"We're both amazing," He smiled. "So our stage will be, as well. Okay?"

"Okay." Taeyong sounded as unconvinced as he felt.

"Take a few deep breaths with me." He did as he was told. Ten must've seen how it did nothing to calm him so he took a step forward. "No, look at me," Taeyong couldn't do what he was told. "Look at me," He gulped and looked right below Ten's face - they were standing so  _close_. "Look at my  _face_."

Taeyong lifted his gaze, slowly, until he met the piercing, determined eyes of his partner. 

"Now  _breathe_."

Taeyong did.

 

❈✭❈

 

**QUITTERS ARE LOSERS**

18 members

 

**big boi daddy (20:50):**

guys

taeyong and ten are on in 10 mins

why are you not all here

 

**Huang Renjun (20:51):**

chill

jisung chenle and i are arriving rn

 

**worst worker bee (20:51):**

sorry lucas FAILED to dress himself again

jungwoo carries this group on his back

 

**Kim Jungwoo (20:51):**

<3

 

**big boi daddy (20:51):**

agreed but that doesnt answer my question

 

**Moon Taeil (20:52):**

we'll be there in two minutes

 

**Dong Sicheng (20:52):**

5 mins probs

 

**worst worker bee (20:52):**

ye same 5 mins

 

**wont take it slow (20:52):**

WAIT SHIT THTS TONITE ??????????????????????????

 

**big boi daddy (20:52):**

JENO ARE U DUMB

 

**Huang Renjun (20:52):**

yeah

 

**wont take it slow (20:52):**

no

WTF STFU RENJUN

 

**big boi daddy (20:52):**

WHO CARES JUST ARRIVE.

_(seen by 16)_

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 20:58_

Breathing hadn't helped Taeyong to the extent that he felt it should've - or  _would've_ had it been literally anyone who didn't make his heart beat to dangerously fast in his chest. There was a loud cheering beyond the archway that connected the backstage to the stage and Taeyong would've been lying if he said his confidence wasn't dwindling every passing second.

If he messed up, he'd mess up Ten. If he missed a step, he'd be punishing Ten. If he forgot a turn, he was sabotaging Ten. And, of course, those were the thoughts that ate at him the most, mostly because he hated to disappoint but there was nothing worse than being the cause of failure for someone he cared about. Someone he cared about far more than he'd like to admit. 

When he looked over at Ten, he could see the worry on his partner's face, tracing the lines along his beautiful, beautiful features until they brought him to the heart of what that worry was for. It was for him, for Taeyong, who he didn't want to see sad or stressed. 

Yet there was nothing he could do and Taeyong knew that if Ten were to open his mouth and say something right now, he may crumble. 

And, somehow, for some god forsaken blessing of a reason, Ten could see that. 

So all he did was reached to his side, take Taeyong's hand in his own, and clasp them together. Creating one, single team. A duo that couldn't be stopped because they were that powerful. And Taeyong wanted to show them that.

With a deep breath - and his hand still clutching Ten's, tightly - he took his first step toward the bridge that connected them.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 20:58_

Mark watched Lucas trip over four people on his way over to where they were gathered. Jungwoo had successfully managed to keep him upright but the same couldn't be said for the ones he actually knocked into. The showcase was in a large open area which meant no one was standing particularly close together unless they had secured a spot right up at the stage - this only made Lucas' excellent tripping all the more impressive.

A long sigh sounded next to him and without needing to turn he knew it was Kun facepalming. "He's going to die so young I'm not even kidding." He murmured just as Lucas, Jungwoo, Yuta, and SIcheng reached them.

"Look at that, we managed to not be late." Yuta huffed.

"2 minutes is close." Kun raised an eyebrow.

"But not late."

"Could've easily been."

"But we weren't."

"Guys shut up," Doyoung chimed in coming up behind the three new arrivers and hitting Lucas and Yuta in the back of their heads - showing blatant favouritism for the other two. "Is this really the closest you could get, Mark? Honestly what was the point of showing up so early if you couldn't even get to the front -"

He was cut off when someone ran into his back, Jaehyun burst out laughing as his boyfriend tumbled forward and barely caught himself. The culprit was revealed to be Renjun who was  _not_ looking at Doyoung but rather, glaring at Jisung who was behind him. Arms still outstretched. 

Renjun threw his hands into the air. "The fuck? Why do I even hang out with you?!" 

Chenle snickered as Jisung replied with, "You were in my way." 

"How, Jisung,  _how_ was I in your 'way'?" Renjun aggressively gestured to all the open space around them. Very impressive, they had managed to have several arguments in the span of only thirty seconds - this was shaping out to be a good night as far as Mark could tell. 

He was, however, still waiting for the person that was supposed to make this night better, a recent boyfriend he'd acquired by being  _very honest_. Donghyuck had yet to arrive and with one minute left on the clock it wasn't looking to good -

"We're here!" Jaemin belted out across the space as he and Jeno arrived with - oh, a very nicely dressed - Donghyuck in tow. Jeno had his hand tightly around Jaemin's and their third wheeler was giving them a disgusted look, when he made eye contact with Mark, he faux-gagged sending the latter into a personal snicker fest. 

"About time." He heard Taeil sigh next to him as he ushered them all to turn and face the stage just as the lights began their dimming. 

It was only then when Donghyuck finally appeared at Mark's side. "You look really good tonight." He whispered into his ear and Mark was glad that the dark hid his blush.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 21:00_

Taeyong wasn't sure if he was breathing when he saw the blur of lights that he assumed would've been the audience. 

And he wasn't sure if he was breathing when Ten squeezed his hand lightly.

Or when he let go.

And Taeyong wasn't sure whether it was the sudden boost of adrenaline that made his thoughts crystal clear but in that moment - yeah, in that single moment - he realized how hard he'd fallen for the person beside him. 

Beyond the basic kind of crush. That's not what he could call it, anymore. Because it was more than that, and it meant more to him now that he knew that the other boy cared so deeply for his well-being. There was a touch of warmth to the infatuation that had once been purely energy. 

And he couldn't have been sure why he said what he did, but the music began and all Taeyong could whisper into the depth of the audience's cries was: "I think I'm starting to fall in love with you."

Through all the blinding lights and the roaring crowd, he saw Ten pale to the flakes of first snow.

Until they danced. And Taeyong had never felt so free.

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 21:01_

"They're actually amazing." Someone, Mark couldn't hear who, had finally spoken after a minute of their silence. It wasn't an intentional silence, it was simply one of awe at the performers on stage. Taeyong and Ten moved so magnificently and more importantly, they moved together. Perfectly in synch, like they were born to dance with one another and no one else.

That was a rare kind of gift. "Yeah, I mean I knew Ten was amazing but I'd never seen Taeyong dance before." He responded, once again, he wasn't sure who he responded to. "He's pretty much at Ten's level, why was he so stressed?"

"I don't know." The person, he'd identified as Donghyuck, replied. 

They fell back into a trance, captivated by the performance in front of them because it was  _that_ amazing. But it was also more interesting as the song continued, and their movements continued, because Ten would continuously look over as if examining Taeyong. There was something sweet about it but that sweetness was overshadowed with a certain aura of... determination.

Tragically, Mark's obliviousness to the situation was ever present. He tried to read him but failed every time. Only when he looked at Donghyuck did he get more of a grasp on what was going on.

"Oh." He accidentally said aloud, surprising Donghyuck next to him. He sucked in a breath. "Do you think he'll actually do it?"

His boyfriend -  _god, it feels weird calling him that_ -  blinked once. "I think he will," Donghyuck looked back at the stage once more. "Look at him, I mean, he's got that weird determine-y aura to him, don't you think?" Mark bit back a smile at the fact that he'd basically used the exact same words. 

"Yeah." He hummed, now far, far, far more invested in the performance. Mostly for the finale, though, because there was hope in the air tonight, and Mark refused to feel it disappear. He slipped his fingers in between Donghyuck's, and pretended not to notice the surprise and delight on the other boy's face. 

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 21:03_

He felt limitless, infinite, immortal, and all the things in between. That's what dancing did for Taeyong. Letting him see passed what he had to live by everyday and setting him on track to the  _beyond_. 

The song was coming to an end but there was no stress, no burden, no organism drowning him. He was left alone with one person. That was enough. 

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 21:03_

Despite the acknowledgement of his racing thoughts, Ten's dance was not disrupted. He persevered through the state of mind trying to consume him and tell him over and over again that  _Taeyong actually said that, out-loud, he said that about me, he said it to me_. 

Stolen glances were becoming apart of the performance and he was hoping with all his heart that they looked like they were apart of it because, well, he couldn't help it, anymore. 

Love was something that anyone could feel whenever they wanted to feel, he knew that, and he knew how difficult it is to admit that something seen to be grand and holy is nothing more than a choice. Love was a choice...

And Ten was going to choose to return it.

The final note of the song played and began to fade and it was in that split second where the lights started their dimming that Ten - who had been aimlessly, hopelessly, lawlessly staring at his partner like he held tangible wonder in his arms - took a step and reached forward and moved his face closer, registering the shock in Taeyong's eyes, and he -

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 21:03_

\- was  _kissing_ him. Fully and without a form of restraint. Ten's lips were so soft and moved so smoothly like they were made to fit with his. And it became a kiss that was trying to complete a puzzle. 

The shock wore off fast enough for him to respond, returning it with just as much energy because there was nothing else that mattered more right now than the boy who returned what he said before they'd danced. Nothing but Taeyong and Ten. 

There was a beautiful small smile that played against his own lips in response to Ten's, and he was cupping his face like it was a fragile flower that needed to be protected but most of all,  _needed to be loved_. 

Cheers of the audience were drowned out by the beating of his heart and the other one's response. 

 

❈✭❈

 

_Sunday 21:03_

There was a ridiculous - but justified - volume of celebratory cheers and whoops from the audience as they all first: gawked, then second: cried out in joy, at the two people kissing on stage in front of them. 

Mark felt so much pride in his heart and he wasn't even sure why. Maybe it was just because they were... really cute? Together? He saw no visible flaws in their relationship and it never seemed strained or problematic to him.

It was the kind of relationship he would see on TV or read in a novel and wholeheartedly support. He thought they worked, and he hoped they would continue to work. 

He hoped the same for his own relationship. He glanced around at all his friends - though Jeno and Jaemin were very notably absent - hoping they would all last, in their own personal relationships and as a group of friends. After all, humans were made to be social.

Finally, he let his gaze land on Donghyuck who was searching around the room, either looking for something or wasting time, he wasn't sure. "Are you looking for someone?"

"Yeah, Jaemin, he's just gone," Donghyuck snorted. "Fucking ditched me."

Mark made an  _ah_ sound and helped him search around, not really spotting anyone that looked anything like Jaemin or was dressed like him. There were tables along the side of the hall that snacks were being served on and one of those tables had someone, or maybe two someones next to it -

"Oh my god." Donghyuck deadpanned.

"What?" Mark who had moved to get a better angle in examining the room looked back at Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck groaned, loudly and shut his eyes as if easing a passing headache. "I can't believe this but at the same time, why did I not expect any different." This did nothing to get rid of Mark's confusion. Well, not until he opened his eyes again, and while sticking out his hand to point somewhere said: "Didn't he also tell you they were doing that whole 'taking it slow' thing?"

Mark followed the line of his hand until he was looking at the someone Mark had seen next to the tables before. Only now, it was very obviously more than one someone. "Seriously? Kun was right." Mark sighed because while Ten and Taeyong had shared such a sweet kiss on stage, Jeno and Jaemin were having what seemed to be a full blown make-out session. 

Jeno basically had his boyfriend pinned to a wall and Jaemin had his arms looped around his neck pulling him closer and closer like they could literally not get enough of eachother. "Why the fuck in public? At least Taeten's was cute." Donghyuck grumbled next to him. Mark couldn't agree more. 

Despite that, he only really looked away when he thought Jeno was pretty much about ready to suck a hickey into his skin. That was something he didn't really feel the need to see. He always knew Jeno's "taking it slow" was nothing but wishful thinking, it didn't take a genius to figure out that Jeno paired with the biggest more reputable flirt of their year, would be anything but slow.

"You should kiss me." It came out of nowhere and it hit Mark so fast in the stomach that he choked on his own spit and coughed three times, trying to dislodge it from his airway. Donghyuck crinkled his nose. "On second thought, you can hold that."

He didn't even know how to reply to that, he just stared. And stared. He felt the tides change around him, his friends relaxing back into their light banter with occasional slaps to straighten each other out now that Taeyong and Ten had left the stage. Though he knew they'd be joining them soon and it'd be even more chaotic.

So maybe...

Mark moved forward and pecked a small kiss on the corner of Donghyuck's mouth, closer to his cheek. The other boy's eyes widened and he looked at him in surprise.

It wasn't anything like Taeyong and Ten's kiss, it wasn't anything like Jeno and Jaemin's, nor was it anything like the one Jaehyun and Doyoung were currently sharing on the side. 

It was manufactured for Mark and Donghyuck, created by them and used by them, not by anyone else. It was their kiss. 

There was so much beauty in individuality and every single one of their relationships was completely, entirely, utterly  _unique_. But that speciality only becomes apparent when another person brings it alive. Just as they had all done for one another, through the most complicated ways they could.

And it wasn't what anyone had asked for but in the end it was what everyone had cherished the most. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know my ending is really TRASH but I honestly think I'm so awful at concluding so after like 40 different tries I just decided to go with this one - sorry if it feels really incomplete or weird I just struggle with conclusions... yeah... anywaysssss
> 
> thank you so much to everyone who commented and left kudos and clicked on this you really made me feel really happy especially when I struggled in school 
> 
> thank you thank you thank you
> 
> this chapter officially concludes my first ever posted fic !!! it was really fun and I loved writing even if I had like .... really random timed breaks 
> 
> \- I do have another NCT fic posted, it's just Nomin, though, so if you wanna you can go look at it !! but you don't have to !!
> 
> if you have any specific requests on something you want me to write, the ship you want me to write about, or the type you want me to write I will do so ! [e.g. more plot based, more romance based, smut/fluff/angst, loaads of world building or nah, etc]
> 
> but I will have to openly admit that I won't write about some ships because I have notps and brotps and I feel physically impossible to ship them :((( sorrrrry if I have to say nah to an idea or smth idk
> 
> ANYWAYS THNAK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU ALL <3
> 
>  
> 
> [follow me on twitter!!](http://twitter.com/wired_roses)


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